(Closed) Tempted to do away with the entire Bridal Party

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Ms.Blutiful: Oh it sounds like you and I need to get together and have a drink! I’m having a lot of your same issues. Take a deep breathe and just enjoy being engaged. That is the only way I can deal.

I have 5 bridesmaids and only 2 have ordered the dress! I let them pick too! And it’s really funny how the Maid and Matron are 2 of the 5 that haven’t done it! And my wedding is about 2 weeks after yours!I’ve lost my flower girl since her mother/my Future Sister-In-Law is a crazy person and are no longer invited!

The only advice I have is if they don’t get the dress they don’t get to be apart of your special day. Don’t get upset with only a couple of months left! I’ve been focusing on other things to avoid this too! I know it’s hard… but it’s your day! And they need to care a little more about your happiness!

Post # 4
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t really have advice but I’m sorry! This is exactly why we’re having no bridal party and I can tell you… although no one’s doing anything special for us… the amount of stress it’s saved is amazing. Sounds like you may be locked in with your girls though :/ it IS still about 3 months out. Although, if your FH feels the same way or understands the situation, you two may be a lot happier without a party… but having honorary roles established for those he wants or those who want to help you. Just a thought! 

Post # 5
Member
14 posts
Newbee

That’s really frustrating. I guess you can save the money from the party and take a really long vacation (or multiple vacations).

Post # 7
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Dear Ms. Blutiful,

Please pour yourself a glass of wine, cut some cheese and read this post:

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/they%e2%80%99re-bridesmaids-not-slaves-verrrrry-long

Chill out, girl! Enjoy your wedding planning and remember that your girls are your friends and this is NOT their wedding.  When was or will be their wedding, they probably won’t expect your full participation and enthusiasm.

Cheer up,

JPalm 

Post # 8
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I posted on that previous thread (about bridesmaids not being slaves) and I don’t think it applies to this. In the simplest of terms, your bridesmaids should be supportive, helpful, and at LEAST order their dresses by the set time. Good lord, OP is NOT asking these girls to walk on water. She’s asking them to be there for her and help her, which is what you agree to do when you agree to be a bridesmaid. Though I can agree with the glass of wine.

Post # 9
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This is why I decided on only have a Maid/Matron of Honor and a flower girl. My SIL did not want to put money into my neice being flower girl so I have purchased her dress and the accessories! That was enough drama for me lol

Post # 10
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@whitwhit: Supportive and need to buy dresses- totally!!!! but for Christ’s sake, demoting your Maid/Matron of Honor because she went to a football game with her Boyfriend or Best Friend instead of your bridal party meeting?? What was so important you needed a meeting for?! Its apparent that they aren’t just ‘friends’ if she’s making this big of a deal out of it. OP says she “demoted her since the planning of the wedding is not important to her and I didn’t want her to be unhappy during my wedding”<—ya I’m not that excited about planning my friends’ weddings because its not my wedding. You can’t really expect your bridesmaids to be head over heels to plan your wedding. And the Bridesmaid or Best Man never says she won’t be happy at her wedding. Then the next Maid/Matron of Honor is a strategic move because she’s “seasoned” at it. Come on….this isnt about being friends and being organized…

Post # 12
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Ms.Blutiful: Hey its all good thats what you really wanted to do. If it were me and this were the girl that I chose to be my Maid/Matron of Honor and was my friend for 15 years, I wouldn’t go “demoting” her because she missed the meeting. Ya, your feelings were hurt and it upset you but is it worth hurting or potentially losing your friendship over? It just seems a bit melodramatic to me is all.

Post # 14
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have to agree with jpalm13 .  In all honesty all a Bridesmaid or Best Man job really to do is stand up for you at your wedding. Technically they don’t have to plan parties or do all the other stuff. All that other stuff, yes is great of the BM’s step up and do that. 

I get you are hurt by her decision to go to a game instead of the meeting but really demoting her and sounds like pretty much throwing a long friendship away because of it. Is that really worth doing that? 

You need to take a step back, your wedding is just not as important to your BM’s as it is to you.  Just chill and relax a bit. 

Post # 15
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

And this is why I choose not to have a bridal party. 

The topic ‘Tempted to do away with the entire Bridal Party’ is closed to new replies.

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