- 8 years ago
My other half made a comment the other day that indicated he was ready to consider putting a ring on the finger and give me the okay to start planning a wedding. It’s been a rather awkward waiting period because we’ve dealt with unemployment and now a new business venture. There’s money in savings for a big fancy ring and a big fancy wedding, but we’re both rather opposed to spending savings on those things.
I had an idea of what I wanted for a ring – something non-traditional and probably not a diamond for a main stone. Today, my mom was in town and we were wasting time at the mall looking at pretty earrings when what catches my eye, but a ring. The ring. Unlike what I thought, it is full of diamonds, but it was actually in a display case with other gemstones since it’s not a typical engagment ring.
I couldn’t stop looking at it. I tried. I really tried to resist. But the saleswoman convinced me that I should at least get an idea of what things look like on my hands since I don’t have any rings as part of my jewelry collection.
It’s the one. I went full steam ahead in trying on different styles of rings just to get an idea of what looked good and what did not. I went to all the stores in the mall that sold decent jewelry, and I couldn’t get any of the first rings I tried on out of my head. I am still most in love with the very first one, but my number two and three choices were at the same store since their style is just a little different than most others.
The other half really knows nothing about buying serious jewelry. He only sees me buying the cheap stuff from Target and similar places that are “fun” pieces as opposed to “real.” He’s not dumb, so it’s safe to assume he knows an engagement ring isn’t cheap. Regardless, I know he’ll still have a bit of sticker shock for just jewelry. Because of that, I still feel so awkward deciding how to move forward or if I even should move the conversation forward.
He’s a pretty direct and logical guy, but I have a real problem going up and saying, “Dear, I love you. Now, go spend a couple of thousand dollars on me without question because I unexpectedly saw and fell in love with this ring.” I don’t want to be seen as pressuring him. I realize that since he’s already discussed wedding plans with his entire family, he likely wouldn’t see it that way. But, I just still can’t bring myself to ask for something expensive like that.
I’m trying to rationalize why this would be a good conversation to have. If he went out on his own and bought a solitaire or more traditional ring that’s even close to the size or design of the one I love, he’d be spending twice as much money based on the prices I saw today. He’s not a romantic kind of guy, so it would make sense for me to just say upfront that I know what ring I want. But, I still can’t bring myself to go downstairs and have that conversation.
My mom is in town until Monday, so I think I might come up with an excuse to leave the two of them alone together and see if he asks her for her opinion. But, if he doesn’t bother doing it, then I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet and sit him down.
If anyone else started the conversation about specific rings, I’d love to know how they did it.