(Closed) Tempting Fate with Ring Selection

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
14486 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I never really sat down with my husband and pointed out a specific ring that I liked that I knew the price tag of, but he did know that I really wanted at least a ct and excellent quality, so basically I was telling him “Dear, I love you. Now, go spend a couple of thousand dollars on me” as you put it.  If it wouldnt put him in financial strain, then I honestly dont see any problem with having a open conversation about it and telling him what I want.  I saw our money as joined by that time anyways, and if I could easily afford it, even if he did have to dump “his” savings, I had no problem backing us up if it was necessary.  If he/we couldnt afford it, I wouldnt tell him since I wouldnt want him to feel like he couldnt afford to get me what I loved.

Post # 4
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Can your mom just mention to him that you saw a ring you really liked?

Post # 6
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Do you have a friend who can be the bridge?  My Maid/Matron of Honor sent pictures of rings I liked to my FI!

Post # 7
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@LibertyBelle:  I hinted pretty thoroughly about kind (which is putting it mildly because I said I wanted an asscher solitaire in a knife edge non cathedral setting lol) of rings I liked, and I’m glad I did. I think its better to show him what you like, so that even if he decides to get something different, it isnt the polar opposite of what you love.

Post # 8
Member
45 posts
Newbee

Just soldier up and very frankly tell him you’ve found THE ring and that this particular one costs X amount of money. Just like bam! lol

Post # 9
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Just tell him the truth! Tell him you were at the mall and you unexpectedly fell in love with a ring that you think is “the one.” See what his response is — if he seems interested in hearing more or asking how much or the name of the store, then you know that he is interested in moving forward. If he shrugs it off, maybe ask him how you want to go about getting the ring. Maybe he would prefer to find one on his own. Or he might be relieved that you have done the work for him! Men can be pretty clueless and overwhelmed when it comes to shopping for jewelry! 

Post # 10
Member
3770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

@shirasagi:  I completely agree with this!

Post # 11
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

What if you take him there to show it to him? My fiance knew I’m picky, so we went out ring shopping together. I bet if your man sees how happy this particular ring makes you, he wouldn’t hesitate about the money. Besides, I think ALL guys get sticker shock when they go out to look at rings (heck, so did I). BUT they spend it anyways lol. It is something you are wearing every day for the rest of your life.

Post # 12
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

double post, sorry!

Post # 13
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I emailed Fiance the link to the ring (we’re LDR so I couldn’t just show him); I wrote in the email that this ring was my absolute dream fairytale ring and that if sometime in the future he was planning to propose, that it would be amazing if it was with that ring.  8 months later, he popped the question with THAT ring.  He told me later that he was so glad I’d sent him the link because he found out the one thing he hates more than clothes shopping is ring shopping!

Post # 14
Member
14486 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@LibertyBelle:  hmmm.   I just asked my husband for advice on how he got over the sticker shock and he said he didnt have any and knew it was expensive.   No help there!  I know for sure my husband thinks of my e-ring as a waste of money in and of itself, but not a waste because it just is what it is (diamond prices) and I love it and wanted it… if that makes any sense.  I think most guys see it that way (like you want HOW Much for that little ROCK?!), but are still willing to spend it, so hopefully he’ll get over the sticker shock, though he may already be aware of how much “real” jewelery cost anyways.  If this is really “the ring” I’d definitely talk to him about it and point it out.  I definitely wouldnt want him to shop on his own and buy something I didnt love and would want to change… that to me, would be a waste of money, especially if it ended up costing more than the one I loved.

Post # 15
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

@shirasagi:  I agree too! I think this is definitely the best way to go about it. Plus, it’s better to be upfront initially then to have to tell him you don’t like the ring he picked out later.

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