Post # 1
Hi My name is Nicole and this is my first post! My fiance, Michael, and I got engaged last week. I’m 27 and he’s 30. We have had brief discussions about bridal party and I have eight lovely ladies that I would like to ask because they have been supportive of me throughout the different phases of my life (the ladies are ages 25-30). My fiance wants me to also ask his two sisters(19 & 21) because “it would mean a lot to them”. I understand that and I love his sisters but I’m not ridiculously close to them because of our age gap and they are away in school. I also think it’s insanity to have ten attendants. Eight is a stretch but he has eight dude friends that he wants and he is also going to ask my brother (who he isn’t particularly close to) so that i’ll ask his sisters. If anything, I’d want my brother on my side! I don’t know how to say no other than the ways i have already tried. I told him eight was enough and he said if I have eight I might as well have ten. Are there other roles I could have the sisters fill? Any assistance is greatly appreciated! xoxo
Post # 3
You can definitely find other ways to include them. For example, they could do readings or play/sing a song during the ceremony. Or you could have them attend the guestbook or pass out programs.
Post # 4
Why not suggest they stand in on his side? But really…he’s right…what’s 2 more at this point?
Post # 5
I say add the two more. If not have them do readings, or something that is special. Don’t have them man the guestbook. I always found that to not really have any meaning, and most people know what to do with a guest book.
Post # 6
i have 10 Bridesmaid or Best Man….no big deal. Do what makes you AND your Fiance happy. Its his wedding also. making them do a reading is kind of a slap in thier face. they are his sisters…not some ditant cousin.
dont worry about what other people think….its about youand your Fiance joining lives and families.
Post # 7
I would also say include them in the readings etc. My Fiance has 5 sisters and 6 brothers, I also have two siblings, and we already have 6 attendants each, it would have gotten out of control so we are including siblings in other ways to make them feel included.
Post # 8
I say include them as bridesmaids. Especially if it means something important to him. You have 8 already, what’s 2 more?
Post # 9
I am not particularly close to my sister-in-law (just because of distance, but I do love her) and did not know her well at all when she married my brother. My brother asked to have me involved in his wedding and I stood on HIS side. Her side included her friends and HER brother.
For my wedding, we are determined to stick to a small wedding party. I’ve chosen not to ask her to be a bridesmaid and instead to do a reading – she has a BEAUTIFUL speaking voice and I’ve actually told her that more than once over the years. I’m having her help me choose the reading and I think she’s excited to do it. It is an ACTIVE role in the ceremony when you think about it – she won’t just be standing still with a bouquet. I definitely do not think asking her to do a reading is a slap in the face by any means.
Post # 10
If it is really important to have his sisters be a part of your bridal party, then maybe just do it to avoid hurting his (or their) feelings. Ten bridesmaids is a lot for sure. I can understand you wanting to keep it a bit smaller, but 8 is a lot too. Like someone said, what’s 2 more?
Post # 11
Somehow I have managed to wind up with 10 bridesmaids too! My family have forced my hand on having extra children involved.
Originally the plan was like this: I’ve got 6 sisters, and the younger 3 are going to be bridemaids, I always wanted my 3 closest friends to be BM’s and need to include my SO’s younger sister if my sisters are included. Which was fine. And that was 7.
Then, my mum’s side got offended when I said I wouldn’t be including my 3 y/o neice and 2 young cousins. It got to the point where it was just easier to include the extra rather than fight the point every time we discussed the wedding.
Plus I think the photos will look great. Like others have said, what’s 2 more when you have this many anyway?
Post # 12
I agree that having 10 bridesmaids when you already have eight probably won’t make a huge difference. It might be easier to just make them bridesmaids if it’ll make your fiance happy. Most of the decisions will probably end up being yours. Your fiance likely won’t care about flowers, invitations, etc., so if this is an area where he feels strongly, it might be best to give this one to him.
Post # 13
um, if you’d rather have your brother on your side and he wants his sister’s in the Bridal Party so badly, why DON’T you have your brother on your side and his sisters on his?
Post # 14
I don’t see anything wrong with having 10 BMs. I love the look of a large wedding party…my fiance and I have 9 BMs, 9 Groomsmen, a junior Bridesmaid or Best Man and Groomsmen, 2 ring bearers and 1 flower girl. I honestly think you shoould put his sister in the bridal party. I don’t know about anyone else but if I wasn’t in my brother’s wedding because I wasn’t “close enough” to his fiance, my feelings would be hurt…just remember that it’s his wedding too…
Post # 15
my boyfriend wants me to ask his sisters as well when we get married..
Post # 16
I kind of agree, what’s two more? I think 8 is a lot too, though. If he feels strongly about it, I saw do it. If it’s a big deal, include them by doing readings or give them tasks like directing people to the guest book/gift table or helping spread the word about the order of the day.