Tension with friend due to adult-only wedding

posted 4 months ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

Tatum :  THIS

 

But also OP I agree that you definitely need a plan in case she shows up with her son. 

Post # 17
Member
2853 posts
Sugar bee

I literally laughed out loud while reading that. I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous in my life. 

– “Product of today’s society”
– “responsible for breaking his heart”
– “He’s ENTITLED to”
– “You have no right to separate generations” (????)

I’m sorry what? I feel a little bit badly for the kid because she sounds unhinged – people have parties without kids all the time. It’s not even like he’s a family member, or a breastfeeding baby, or a toddler that doesn’t like to be away from his mum. He’s 10 years old for crying out loud! 

I’m sorry I wish I had better advice for you, but I don’t know if she’ll be easy to reason with. Stand your ground, you’re being completely reasonable. 

Post # 18
Member
930 posts
Busy bee

This post upsets me bc I can sooo see my own sister doing this..

The other day I began to tell her that SO and I are slowly planning and coming up with wedding ideas (I.e. a destiantion wedding). She immediately started saying where we should or should not make it, and what time of year etc…I told her that when we plan it we will let her know what we decide on. She was clearly upset with me, and said that if it wasnt in a certain time of year her or my parents wouldnt come (yeah…she was speaking for my parents. smh!).

 

I know that if I even so thought of a no children wedding, all hell would break lose. She would see me as being rude or stubborn or unreasonable bc it’s a ‘family event’ and literally argue with me and yell at me to make me change it to a kid friendly wedding. I actually dont want to think about it because I 100% know that thats what will happen.

Bee, do what you need to do and keep your foot down, please. 

Post # 19
Member
3310 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

Sounds like you just freed up a spot for a better person to attend! Seriously, I’d stop speaking to her altogether. Kids were not invited to my wedding and some people had to decline as a result, but I made it crystal clear that the two options available to them were to come without their kid(s) or not attend. Guests don’t dictate the guest list. 

Post # 20
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee

Let her stay on her opinionated high horse and turn around and ride into the sunset. What a total load of BS. This is not a friendship I could give another moment to.

Her son is going to grow up with some major issues with this kind of manipulative, guilt dropping mother. Poor kid.

Post # 21
Member
5906 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

With each thing you shared that she said, I got more and more irate. It sounds like you’ve made more than enough attempts to hear her out and also give her a chance to see your side of things FOR YOUR WEDDING and to course correct. She is choosing not to do so. I wouldn’t speak with her about it anymore and use your own version of the wording any of the PP’s shared, to basically say “I’m not going to discuss this anymore. This is the agreement for attending my wedding, if you cannot adhere to it, you will be missed.”

She’s out of line.

Post # 22
Member
1894 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

stitchwitch86 :  I agree with Jellybellynelly. At this point, my fear would be that she’ll show up with her son anyway, in direct disregard of your wishes. Be careful. 

Post # 23
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

If she honestly said all this to you and its not just exagerattion heat of the moment why you want this woman in your life is beyond me

If anyone ever spoke to me like that Id slam the door in their face very hard very fast..

And using her son as bait? Cmon

Post # 25
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe throw a few male strippers and body shots into the mix for the entertainment, and she’ll stop asking if her kid can attend.

Post # 26
Member
786 posts
Busy bee

“It’s not your wedding. We are not having children at OUR wedding. It’s not up for discussion. You do not have to come and I understand if you don’t.”

Post # 27
Member
204 posts
Helper bee

I’m sorry but???? Omg. People are so crazy, y’all. Can she not afford a babysitter or something..? Sorry that’s rude but she is acting insane. I would tell her if she wants to set the rules then she can foot the bill

Post # 28
Member
3549 posts
Sugar bee

Your friend sounds like she’s several cards short of a full deck. Seriously.

Post # 29
Member
689 posts
Busy bee

stitchwitch86 :  Tell her you’ve hired strippers, and you’re serving coke and alcohol, but it’s BYO rubbers. She’ll find a sitter. 

Post # 30
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

stitchwitch86 :  I don’t like going places without my kid.  So I just decline invites to them.  It is super easy.  I usually just have to check a “regrets” box or click a button online.  I don’t know why your friend is whining and not just declining the invite. No one is forcing her to go.  

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