Tension with friend due to adult-only wedding

posted 5 months ago in Guests
Post # 31
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

My parents were the first of their friends to get married and have children, they were invited to MANY wedding when I was a kid, they were ALL child-free weddings so depending on who was invited to the wedding I’d either stay with my mom’s mom or my dad’s parents or aunts and uncles.  My younger cousins were the only kids invited to my wedding, everyone else had someone watch their children even guests that traveled 8 hours to attend the wedding. So I really have trouble believing this friend NEEDS to bring her 10 year old. 

I know it sucks to feel like you’re losing a friend but the way she’s treating you over this makes me think that she’s bound to act this way in the future over something else you disagree on. You don’t want a friend you have to walk on eggshells with. 

Post # 32
312 posts
Helper bee

Sounds like yet another person that is too immature to be a parent. And might I also add that it is highly unlikely that a 10 year old boy would be upset about not going to a wedding. If he is that is odd for a ten year old and super whiney like “products of today’s society”…. I mean mileinials get called whiney because society… sounds like she is playing the perfect part… NOT YOU.

Post # 33
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

stitchwitch86 :  She is completely out of line.  The majority of weddings I’ve been to have been childfree, it’s not exactly unusual.

Don’t engage with her about it anymore.  Just say “Our decision on a childfree wedding stands.  I would love for you to attend, but understand if you can’t make it”. 

Due to the age of the child, I’m wondering if maybe she already hyped him up about it, and she doesn’t want to have to deal with disappointing him.  Well her problem, shouldn’t have said anything until the invitations were received. 

Post # 34
479 posts
Helper bee

“we would love to see you, but if you aren’t able to find a sitter we will understand” 

Post # 35
11791 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I can’t imagine being friends with someone who would say any of those things. She’s beyond rude, ignorant, and entitled. I’d definitely be using the “We’ll understand if that means you can’t be there” line. If she’s offended, too bad. She’s offended you. 

Post # 36
12 posts

stitchwitch86 :  Your “friend” sounds like a narcissist and manipulator who is preying on your emotions to get her way.  It seems like she is not being supportive during one of the most important times of your life.  If she is acting this way now, how good of a friend is she really?  This day is about you and your fiance, not about her and her son and its selfish of her to imply otherwise.  The only way to cope with this one is to distance yourself from her because it sounds like she doesn’t deserve your consideration.    

Post # 37
128 posts
Blushing bee

stitchwitch86 :  I had to log in to ask to thank your friend on my behalf for providing me the biggest laughter of the week thus far with such gems! She is mental!

She even went as far as to say she is not interested in getting a sitter because my fiancé and I have no rights to “separate generations” and make parents choose between their children or our wedding. “

Post # 38
577 posts
Busy bee

Oh my. You should just send her a copy of all your replies lol. That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.  A wedding isn’t a place for children. 

Post # 39
128 posts
Blushing bee

We all know she is going to show up with her kid right? Lol With a smirk on her face tempting you to do sthg. Be prepared OP!

Post # 40
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

She’s not your friend. She’s also a shitty mom if she’s willing to be such a thorn in your side in order to protect her son from hearing NO. Not that I believe that sham story, but still.

Post # 41
1240 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

As if a 10-year-old boy actually gives a fuck about a boring wedding (from a kid’s perspective). Lol

She sounds desperate to get married herself and is mad you’re not letting her have what she wants. What a psycho. I’d tell her she’s no longer invited. She obviously only cares about what herself.

Post # 42
1575 posts
Bumble bee

I was dragged around to so many weddings as a kid and hated it, her son will not be heartbroken lol.

Post # 43
1069 posts
Bumble bee

I know I have already contributed to this thread but at this point I would be on the point of saying something direct, particularly if she still keeps pushing or you feel that she may indeed just show up with her son anyway….

” You obviously feel very passionate about not being separated from your son for a few hours to attend our childfree wedding. We would not dream of forcing you to compromise on something you feel so strongly about so we want you to know that we respect your choice and we withdraw our invitation for you to attend.”

She can put that in her pipe and smoke it.

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