(Closed) Terminally ill Dad, moved wedding

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7749 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@nma214:  *Hugs* to you and your dad. Good on you for moving your wedding for your dad, and big thumbs down to the selfish bridesmaids. Your wedding is about YOU (meaning you and your fiance), not them.

I wouldn’t give them a second thought until after your wedding. Spend time with your father, your family, and your one understanding bridesmaid. Perhaps in a few months, reconnect, but at the moment you have too much going on, and you only want to be with people who will support you.

Post # 4
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@nma214:  I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. πŸ™ I don’t understand why the Bridesmaid or Best Man are reacting this way and being so insensitive to your situation… Seriously, what needs to they have on YOUR wedding day? You even offered to pay them back for their dresses…

Enjoy your wedding and the special day with your dad. Personally, if i was in that same situation… I wouldn’t want to even bother with them again. I would expect an apology instead

Post # 5
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Your reason for have a small wedding with family are 100% understandable sham on your Bridesmaid or Best Man for not being supportive. Spending time with your Dad now is the most important thing. You have done the total right things with moving closer to him and moving your wedding so he will be there. Believe me in the future this is what you will remember not about your selfish BMs.

You have more important things to focus on now then trying to fix things with your BMs hopefully they will come to thier senses soon.

I sadly lost my Dad to cancer only 5 weeks ago and not a day goes by that I do not think of him or the weeks and months leading to his end. You have a hard road ahead but enjoy the time with your Dad and let those willing to support you help.


Post # 6
1032 posts
Bumble bee

I’m so sorry about your dad πŸ™ **hugs** And I’m sorry your BM’s are being bitches. Seriously. Shame on them for being so incredibly selfish and cruel. You, my dear, are in the right. You’ve done all the right things in this situation. They should be ashamed of their behavior. If I were you, I wouldn’t reach out to any of them; real friends would never, ever treat someone like that. **super hugs** 

Post # 7
2 posts
  • Wedding: April 2013

 What an awful thing to go through, I’m so sorry about your dad. Your bridesmaids are the completely insensitive and are the ones being bad friends.


Enjoy your wedding, spend time with your dad and your supportive friend. After the wedding and when you are ready to handle things I’d rethink the friendship with these other women. It was very nice of you to offer to pay them for the dresses. They are behaving absolutely horribly. 


Post # 8
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@nma214:  Shame on your bridesmaids for even making you give this a second thought.  You’re in a place where you need the love and support of EVERYONE around you, and they’re giving you the exact opposite.


Get through today.  And tomorrow.  And your wedding.  And what comes after.  And then decide if you’re in a place to have them in your life.  When you are, sit down with each individually, explain what their words and actions did to you, and how they made you feel.  They need to understand that this isn’t how grownups treat each other.


So many hugs to you and your dad, and I hope you have a beautiful, amazing wedding day.  Please keep us updated.

Post # 9
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m sorry to hear about your dad. I agree with all pp and think you should not worry about it right now. They say you find out who your real friends are through crisis, it’s a sad truth. After the wedding and everything if you miss them and feel like you can get past it, then reach out. If they still are acting this way, you are deserving of better friends. It’s not fair to yourself to keep people like that in your life. Hope you get some reconciliation and support.

Post # 10
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

Go have the wedding of your dreams with your dad by your side and forget about them witches. Now you know what they are made of you dont want their “support” when things go wrong. youre better off without them.


You are obviously a very nice person, I would have told them about themselves as soon as they called me horrible

Post # 11
1849 posts
Buzzing bee

I am so very sorry about your dad.  I am also very sorry that your BM’s (except the one) have decided to be cold and heartless.  EVERY ONE OF THEM should be stepping up to be there for you.

You have done nothing wrong here.  Well, if you call being a daughter who puts her father before a fancy party heinous, then, geez, I guess you are horrible. (insert serious sarcasm here)

Cut your ties with anyone who isn’t supporting you on this.  You owe them no apologies.  Send each girl a check for her dress as that is the proper thing to do.  Then keep the one who supports you as a friend, and dump the rest.

I seriously can’t fathom so many people being so unkind to you.  I have been in your shoes more than once and this is a tough road to travel.  

Enjoy your time with your father.  Enjoy your wedding.  I hope you know that you have made the right decision and have been let down by a lot of people.

I hope your wedding day brings you and your father great joy.

Post # 12
7386 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

You have nothing to feel bad about.  Your bridesmaids are the ones who have a problem.

Post # 13
8455 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@nma214:  *HUGS* Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for what you’re doing.  You are not being selfish or a “bad bride,” your bridesmaids should be moew understanding of how difficult this time is for you.  My Fiance and I were in the same position when my dad was diagnosed with leukemia (we lost him very suddenly a few weeks later), and my Future Mother-In-Law was the one who made a scene about it, saying it wasn’t fair to her.  Two months later, Future Father-In-Law was diagnosed with cancer and we ended up delaying our wedding for almost a year and half while dealing with all the loss.  Your bridesmaids should be happy that you have a chance to include your father in your wedding.

Post # 14
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad πŸ™

I can’t help but wonder if we are missing part of this story, because it seems beyond cruel and heartless for your BM’s to be giving you such a hard time about this, knowing what’s going on with your dad? Do they not know about your dads illness or something? Not that that makes their behaviour acceptable, but maybe it makes more sense. Because otherwise I just can’t imagine how they could be so selfish and mean.

Post # 15
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

I’m very sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis, I’m glad you decided to move your wedding up, I’m sure your dad appreciates that so much.

As for your “friend” I give her a big FUCK YOU. Your dad is dying and she’s calling you selfish and names? I’d send her a check for any money she invested in the wedding for a dress etc and a note telling her that she is a heartless bitch and to enjoy the rest of her life and NEVER speak with her again. I cannot believe the nerve of this woman!

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