(Closed) Terrible Bridesmaid – Kicking her out

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsGamerGod:  It’s your wedding hun! Go with how you feel and stick with it. I think your being very reasonable given the circumstances. Good luck! 🙂

Post # 4
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Kick her out. She’s clearly not performing her bridesmaidly duties or being loyal, supportive or excited!

Post # 6
1240 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsGamerGod:  god, are you sure you aren’t me? That’s exactly what one of mine is doing (date twin!) and she sounds just like your girl

Post # 8
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Is she Bi Polar?

If her lack of participation of excessive flakyness is bothering you, definitely talk to her! Maybe she is going through some personal issues.

Since it is so close to the wedding date, I’d just leave it be and if she comes she comes, because you must have chosen her to be there by your side on your wedding day at least. If not, be ready to make things really awkward or to possibly lose a friend, who may not have been a good friend to begin with.

Post # 9
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Omg! This is totally happening to me to!! I actually never asked her to be a bridesmaid. I just told her I was engaged and all of sudden she was asking me when she needed to buy her dress. ( I didn’t feel like correcting her so let it bthat hen she hasn’t come to anything wedding related, sheLhasa complained about everything I pick being to expensive ( her dress was only $115. I thought this was reasonable) she has also bailed on my everytime I’ve tried to hang out with her. (she met new friends and has gotten into drugs) annolastname week she called me asking if I couldbuy her a plane ticket because he doesn’t even know ifusage can make it now. Oh! And to top it all off we were talking about the wedding weekend and I told her that my bachelorette party was thursday, the decorating day and rehersal were Friday and pictures start at 2pmSaturday and she said she wants to go adds her boy friend so she won’t be there until 3pm on Saturday…. 

Post # 10
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Really? Her only offical duty as a Bridesmaid or Best Man is to wear the dress, be on time, be sober and to support your marriage. Anything else a Bridesmaid or Best Man chooses to do is icing on the cake. BM’s should be the people that you cannot see youself up there without on your wedding day. Not the person who attends the most parties or can do the most jobs for/with you.

How do you knwo she didn’t ask for the day off? Maybe she did and the boss said it was either you or her? Maybe you unintentionally hurt her feelings some how and she doesn’ want to talk to you until after the edding so as not to upset you.  Maybe she couldn’t afford to take the day off- unless you have access to her finances you can never be sure what they really are. It could be a million reasons.

Talk to your friend about how you don’t feel as close to her as before instead of confronting her about not going to parties. She could be going through something in her own life that you have no idea about! 

Post # 11
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

What jaye said!, brides think it’s about what the bridesmaid does for them and it’s supposed to be about you wanting them standing up with you on your day.

Post # 12
1431 posts
Bumble bee

Well no real advice anymore since you already asked her to step down. Personally I wouldn’t have gone that route. Being super busy isn’t really something I see as “kick out worthy” I feel like there is usually a reason why a Bridesmaid or Best Man was asked to be in a wedding in the first place. = an important person in your life. But not everyone can revolve their lives around the brides wedding planning but I don’t think that makes them a bad friend. In most cases, kicking someone out of the wedding means ending a friendship and just remember your wedding is 1 day, and had you let them stand up there with you and support you on that day despite missing a shower then maybe you would have had her as a life long friend instead of what she is now.  BUT if you feel better now that you made your decision I’m happy your happy!

Post # 13
661 posts
Busy bee

You said you never really knew her that well and that she beggeed you to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, clearly you were guilt tripped into having her as one, and now you expect her to be an amazing Bridesmaid or Best Man even though she is not a close friend, family mamber….I dont get some Bee’s who have randoms as their BM’s, you are asking for trouble and have no right to assume they will give a damn, like real friends should – Sorrry if I sound harsh, but I honestly don’t know what you expect of someone like this woman.

Post # 14
724 posts
Busy bee

Wait wait wait.  You kicked her out after she already paid for the dress??  How much was the dress??

You need to really need to reimburse her for the dress.  Personally I think it’s harsh to kick her out when it seems like she really did want to be at all your parties and stuff.  Life gets in the way (and yes other people’s lives are more important than your wedding).  But that’s your choice.  What is not your choice is you need to PAY HER BACK FOR THE DRESS!!   I’d be appalled if I paid 100+ bucks for a dress and my friend told me “lol sry looks like you wasted your money LOL.”  That would probably be a friendship ending move.  

Post # 15
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

@Dizbee:  +1. You shouldn’t have kicked her out after she purchased the dress. Now you should reimburse her. That’s ridiculous to kick her out after she spent that kind of money just for missing a couple of parties. Wow.

Post # 16
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sorry, I agree with the PPs- missing a few events doesn’t seem like a “kick out worthy” offense, and, if you asked her not to be in the wedding, you need to reimburse her for the dress.

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