Post # 47
Member191 posts
Blushing bee
- mrsgrant
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
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- CategoriesRelationship
Member@keepsmiling19: Thanks for sharing that you also had a bumpy first Christmas – actually makes me feel a bit better/more normal.
Post # 48
Member191 posts
Blushing bee
- mrsgrant
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
In all honesty I need to admit: my last two exes also hinted that I was a cheapskate as well…so I guess I have to face the fact that perhaps I am a bit overly frugal when it comes to money. I splurge every once and a while on trips or really nice things, but for the most part I stick to my budget and am putting money away for a rainy day.
Post # 49
Member807 posts
Busy bee
- dlbaqua
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: February 2013
I’d be furious if my Fiance acted like that, especially the part about taking your purse back so he could get the laptop!!
Post # 50
Member191 posts
Blushing bee
- mrsgrant
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
Appreciate the reassurance that I didn’t do anything wrong. He really was being a brat yesterday and now that I think back on it, we’ve had issues around a couple of other presents too (he complains or pouts after somethign is given that doesn’t meet his standards). Hopefully we can talk ourselves into a future compromise once we both cool down. He’s such a sweet and amazing guy most of the time, but he has some weird ideas about money and an odd sense of entitlement. Like, he is entitled to EXACTLY what he requests/wants, but he forgets that I’m not a mind reader and don’t feel comfortable dropping cash like he does.
Post # 51
Member1695 posts
Bumble bee
- greenviolets
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: March 2012
View original reply
Sooo, not to thread jack, but I can understand why you’re feeling crappy. And for what it’s worth, $300 is a lot to spend on a Christmas gift and I don’t think you were wrong to stick by your agreed upon limit. I think that he is being selfish and childish and it sucks that he took your purse back. That should have been a decision you all made together, not as a way to hurt you. That’s just mean.
Post # 52
Hostess2555 posts
Sugar bee
- MsAmandaAnn
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
I’m sorry, but I feel like he is being childish and selfish. Christmas is about giving — and spending time your the ones you love. It’s not about cashing in on all the gifts you want.
I wish I had advice to offer, but, I don’t because I’ve never had to deal with this. All I can say is, don’t cave and buy him a laptop. Your Christmas presents were very generous!! He’s a big boy, he can use his Best Buy gift cards to buy a new laptop, if that’s how he chooses to spend them.
Post # 53
Member941 posts
Busy bee
- tampalove35
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
my god, how old is he? 10!? Should’ve saved your money and invested in a lump of coal.
I’m sorry, I would have no patience for that. My best advice– return your purse and give him the money back; tell him to buy the damn computer if he wants it that badly.
Post # 54
Member526 posts
Busy bee
- mrshunnybunches
- 8 years ago
This whole situation is really sad. Our first Christmas was really bad too – DH bought me a trash can. It was terrible! We had a $75 limit for each other this year. I don’t like to buy big presents for Christmas, since I feel like it takes away from the true meaning of Christmas.
I think for next year, emphasize over and over that you are spending the set limit on him. No more, no less. You have to say it over and over so that he gets it.
Post # 55
Member191 posts
Blushing bee
- mrsgrant
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
View original reply
I don’t want to ever come off as someone with a lot of money who doesn’t share it/give to the people I love – and if I’m honest with myself, I think I do come off that way to a lot of people. So, yes, he acted like a jerk, but I have a pattern in my life of people thinking I’m cheap or being disappointed by my gifts. So, I’m praying on that and giving some thought to why I am perceived that way.
Post # 56
Member3622 posts
Sugar bee
- julieloolie
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I think $300 is way too much for spouses to spend on each other for Christmas. I would literally shred the gift card I gave DH if he ever acted that way towards me. And he could completely forget about receiving a birthday present. And of course we’d be in couples counseling ASAP. That is a completely inexcusable way to treat ANYONE, much less a spouse. If you have people in your life who think you’re cheap for spending $300 on them at Christmas, I’d re-evaluate why they’re in your life! That’s SO SO rude to ever complain about a gift/call someone cheap.
Post # 57
Member899 posts
Busy bee
- patchy
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2012
View original reply
and money is not what buys a great gift. it’s the thought that counts! if he doesn’t like your love tokens, then… seriously. really?! (are love tokens things like “massage, make a sandwich, go buy chips” etc sort of thing? if it is, those are SO thoughtful and he’s majorly hurtful for not appreciating them) even if he’s not too wowed by love tokens he can’t actually outright dismiss them like that. ouch.
Post # 58
Member19 posts
Newbee
Post # 59
Member11735 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
- MrsWBS
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
@mrsgrant: what a dick. i’d return the bag he got you and never give him a present ever again until he can show he’s grateful for what he has and what he gets. What a fucking dick.
Post # 60
Member2861 posts
Sugar bee
- mixtapehearts
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
Yeah this doesn’t seem like a one time problem, sounds like he has a major issue concerning presents. Why not just agree to stop exchanging presents? Plenty of couples don’t and in your case it seems like you will never please him not matter what you buy or how much you spend.
Post # 61
Hostess2997 posts
Sugar bee
- Lily_of_the_valley
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
Dang, this is upsetting to read. How ungrateful! Go out and buy your own damn laptop geez!
The topic ‘Terrible First Christmas: Need Advice’ is closed to new replies.