(Closed) Terrible First Christmas: Need Advice

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 49
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’d be furious if my Fiance acted like that, especially the part about taking your purse back so he could get the laptop!!

Post # 51
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

View original reply
@mrsgrant:  I’m sorry that that your first Christmas was tough.  It was our first Christmas too and we had a rough time.  DH said that he bought me a Christmas gift but that it didn’t come in in time so he cancelled it and then he didn’t have time to go buy me anything.  🙁

Sooo, not to thread jack, but I can understand why you’re feeling crappy.  And for what it’s worth, $300 is a lot to spend on a Christmas gift and I don’t think you were wrong to stick by your agreed upon limit.  I think that he is being selfish and childish and it sucks that he took your purse back.  That should have been a decision you all made together, not as a way to hurt you.  That’s just mean. 

Post # 52
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m sorry, but I feel like he is being childish and selfish.  Christmas is about giving — and spending time your the ones you love.  It’s not about cashing in on all the gifts you want.

I wish I had advice to offer, but, I don’t because I’ve never had to deal with this.  All I can say is, don’t cave and buy him a laptop.  Your Christmas presents were very generous!!  He’s a big boy, he can use his Best Buy gift cards to buy a new laptop, if that’s how he chooses to spend them.

Post # 53
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

my god, how old is he? 10!? Should’ve saved your money and invested in a lump of coal. 

I’m sorry, I would have no patience for that. My best advice– return your purse and give him the money back; tell him to buy the damn computer if he wants it that badly.

Post # 54
526 posts
Busy bee

This whole situation is really sad.  Our first Christmas was really bad too – DH bought me a trash can.  It was terrible!  We had a $75 limit for each other this year.  I don’t like to buy big presents for Christmas, since I feel like it takes away from the true meaning of Christmas. 

I think for next year, emphasize over and over that you are spending the set limit on him.  No more, no less.  You have to say it over and over so that he gets it. 

Post # 56
3622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think $300 is way too much for spouses to spend on each other for Christmas. I would literally shred the gift card I gave DH if he ever acted that way towards me. And he could completely forget about receiving a birthday present. And of course we’d be in couples counseling ASAP. That is a completely inexcusable way to treat ANYONE, much less a spouse. If you have people in your life who think you’re cheap for spending $300 on them at Christmas, I’d re-evaluate why they’re in your life! That’s SO SO rude to ever complain about a gift/call someone cheap.

Post # 57
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

View original reply
@mrsgrant: it’s great that you’re willing to compromise for him, but what’s he doing for you? has he shown remorse for the childish way he’s behaved? it’s fine for him to be hurt, but as a logical adult he needs to realise he had no right! he hurt you just as much as you hurt him.

and money is not what buys a great gift. it’s the thought that counts! if he doesn’t like your love tokens, then… seriously. really?! (are love tokens things like “massage, make a sandwich, go buy chips” etc sort of thing? if it is, those are SO thoughtful and he’s majorly hurtful for not appreciating them) even if he’s not too wowed by love tokens he can’t actually outright dismiss them like that. ouch.

Post # 58
19 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

Your husband is an asshole.

Post # 59
11735 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mrsgrant:  what a dick. i’d return the bag he got you and never give him a present ever again until he can show he’s grateful for what he has and what he gets. What a fucking dick.

Post # 60
2861 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Yeah this doesn’t seem like a one time problem, sounds like he has a major issue concerning presents. Why not just agree to stop exchanging presents? Plenty of couples don’t and in your case it seems like you will never please him not matter what you buy or how much you spend. 

Post # 61
2997 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Dang, this is upsetting to read.  How ungrateful!  Go out and buy your own damn laptop geez!

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