(Closed) Terrible First Christmas: Need Advice

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 62
Member
2909 posts
Sugar bee

I think you should return the bag if you genuinely don’t want it, give him half the money and use the other half to buy something you really DO want. And then tell him that before the next gift giving occasion you need to have a serious talk so that your mutual expectations and agreements are met. If he wants a laptop, he should buy it and be grateful he has $250 less he needs to spend on it. The whole thing sounds like a giant clusterf*ck and I think you should mitigate the damages now and re-evaluate how you’re going to handle things prior to future holidays.

Post # 63
Member
412 posts
Helper bee

honestly if he’s going to be so picky about gifts (exchanging a bluray player AFTER you’ve done research??! if you did research you still got a damn good one, if not “the” one), i’d just tell him he can budget for and buy his own damn electronics from now on.  gifts are supposed to be something tyou think the recipient will love and if he’s not liable to appreciate it (odds are he’d have exchanged the computer too right?), he needs to just go get his own. exchanging a gift once in a blue moon, okay. exchanging it regularly, those things need to stay off the list. 

Post # 64
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

View original reply
@mrsgrant:  I’m glad! I just sent you a PM…I didn’t want to post the whole story, but just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. Misery loves company, right? 🙂

Post # 67
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s great that you’ve been thinking about how to make some changes in the way you approach gifts with him… that shows a lot of maturity and fairness on your part. But that doesn’t change the fact that he behaved terribly! It’s not like he calmly and maturely explained his disappointment to you; he threw a tantrum (like a child) and is now punishing you (like a child). You guys had an agreement about the gift budget, and your gift was NOT insignificant–$300-$400 is not a stingy gift amount, in my book. So I think you still need to call him on his bratty, juvenile behavior.

Post # 68
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Does he NEED or just WANT a laptop? Is his old and starting to bite the dust? If so maybe you two can go pick one out together? It’s nice that he is waiting for Christmas and wants you to get him one rather than blowing money and just buying it for himself. You have to be the judge and figure out if this is a trend like always needing to upgrade when something new cones out or something that he guinenly needs.

Post # 69
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Wow he’s being silly. You’re not cheap I just paid $270 for an Xbox 250gb and a ton of games and felt like that was a lot lol. I would be mad if my boyfriend spent $800-$1000 on me especially a purse!

Post # 70
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That is the most riddiculous thing I have ever heard.  How rude of him — he’s being ungrateful.  CLEARLY, he needs a wake up call because he can’t just be tossing money around like it’s nothing.  Obviously there are things you’d want to get since y’all jsut got married.  I imagine there’s a chance you’d want kids and you’d want to save for them, get a house, etc. 

What the hell.  Married life isn’t about a laptop it’s about a future and if he’s acting like that he needs a wake up call.  What a baby.  I’m ticked off for you.  Stick to your guns.

Post # 72
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
@mrsgrant:  “Yes, I think even if I had gotten a laptop it wouldn’t have been the right one as I don’t think even he was 100% sure which one he wanted.  So, gift giving is starting to feel like a no-win situation when it comes to him.”

Have you explained this to him? You should tell him exactly this. What an ass-hat. I’m so sad for you 🙁

Post # 73
Member
11266 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@mrsgrant:  your husband sounds incredibly childish.  you should be proud that you are a saver.  there is nothing wrong with being frugal.  i am the exact same way.

personally, i would take the purse back, keep $300-$400 to buy whatever i wanted and give him back the remainder.  the purse will always trigger tension whenever you use it.  tell him to go buy his own laptop and tell him to grow up.

Post # 74
Member
11266 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

View original reply
@nikix:  I think you should punch him in the weiner.  i couldn’t stop laughing after reading this.  thanks for the chuckle.

Post # 75
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

Why did he take the purse he gave you? If he seriously returns it and gets the laptop I would be PISSED. I mean, more pissed than I would have been in the first place!!! He is acting like a child.

Post # 76
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Christmas is great for kids. It’s been almost comical for me to watch adults get upset over gifts over the years. My personal opinion is that I don’t need “stuff.” I prefer experiences and time with friends and family. My husband and I started pooling money together and going away for a night or weekend right around Christmas. That’s our present to each other.

Setting a gift limit will always end in hurt feelings for someone, because one person will always go over that. We do get each other a little stocking stuffer so each of us has something small to open on Christmas. Last year was a tiny, remote control helicopter. I think I paid $20 after shipping and handling, and he loved it. BUT, we both loved our night in wine country the weekend before even more.

You’ll probably never want to use the $1000 bag now, so I’d say return it. Then, discuss what is so important about having a high gift limit and why you needed to buy him the laptop instead of it being something he just purchases himself. If material things and money are an ongoing argument for you both, figure out a way to approach it differently. Having expectations set too high and hoping your spouse can read your mind will always be a let down for someone.

The topic ‘Terrible First Christmas: Need Advice’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors