(Closed) Terrible FSIL as bridesmaid? HELP?!?!?!?!?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Would you let a terrible FSIL be a bridesmaid?
    No way : (81 votes)
    59 %
    Yes but ask her to change her attitude : (5 votes)
    4 %
    Tell her to change her attitude or she's out, her choice : (52 votes)
    38 %
  • Post # 17
    14 posts
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Have your Fiance talk to her for sure…  In laws were the hardest thing I had to deal with when I was getting married, mostly because they in a different state and I had only met them a couple of times.  The unfortunate part is, it doesn’t stop after the wedding.  Make sure you’re looking at the big picture and realizing this girl will be a part of your life from now on… I tend to be impulsive so sometimes I have to step back and look at the big picture before I do something I might later regret.  

    Post # 18
    66 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Aw, dear, I’m sorry that you are going through this! I had similar problems with my Future Sister-In-Law, but the fact that she has said all this and people are telling you what she has said really makes me think you should retract her from being a bridesmaids. Why would she say yes if she continues to have some sort of aversion for you–it really doesn’t make sense.


    I hope things get better and that eventually, the two of you will have a good relationship.

    Post # 20
    2274 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think your fiancé needs to stand up for you, and let his sister know that he IS marrying you, that you WILL become a part of their family, and that she needs to grow up about it, and treat you with respect.  Something to the the effect of, “I hope you and she can become friends, but at a minimum, you have to treat her with the respect she deserves.”  Either she’ll shape up, or get worse.  That will tell you how to proceed.

    Post # 21
    491 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @ahun6592:  omg almost same sitch girl!! Id say kick her out, only cos we did. She has caused so much drama!! And had inadvertently moved the “just engaged” excitement attention of her bro and i to her acting out. i know she doesnt like me (ppl have told me), and she hates that her family does like me (shes only girl), her family hates my fsils fi (with good reason -too long a story) Plus the fact that my bms hate her too for the same reason (one of whom is my fbils fi) the wedding photos, you can imagine, would look horrendous! 

    My fiance made the final decision to kick her out. We dont need that extra stress on the happiest day of ourlives. Shes a guest, but defs not a bm.

    Post # 22
    54 posts
    Worker bee

    Talk to your future mother-in-law.  Ask her what she thinks about her daughter being asked to step back as a bridesmaid, particularly if this is causing fights between your familes and she keeps saying she doesn’t want to be in your wedding.  She may tell you straight-out to kick your future sister-in-law out of your wedding.

    Post # 23
    768 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts

    Just tell her she can step down as a bridesmaid since she doesn’t like you and obviously doesn’t have any respect for you by talking behind your back.

    Post # 24
    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Oh my gosh.  HAVE YOUR Fiance HANDLE THIS.  STAY OUT OF IT.  Your Fiance needs to handle his family and you need to handle yours.  No matter how much of a b&tch this girl is, she will be your family.  You need to be the bigger person, but what that means is that you need to step aside and let your Fiance deal with his sister and make it better.  He should not be standing for this and if he is, then THAT is your problem.  Kicking her out makes you look petty and will make her a victim.  Seriously, just be careful here.  


    Post # 25
    2031 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I’m sorry- usually it would have the opposite experience (I’ve become good friends with my fsil since asking her ).   i would ask her out for coffee or lunch and casually bring up the wedding.  Ask her opinion on something like the bm dress.  If she reacts off to it, I would say that you’ve been hearing that she has been stresses out about being a bridesmaid and that if it is too much for her you would understand. 

    Post # 26
    58 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @MrsRichard:  I have the same problem with mine wont even try a dress on

    View original reply
    @ahun6592:  Her behaviour is disgraceful I dont like my brothers gf for good reasons however I dont write status about her. Your Fiance should call her out on her behaviour and tell her its not acceptable and for her to stand down as bridesmaid. If she continues dont invire her to the wedding. You dont need the stress and upsetment.do you get on with her mother? Congratulations on your wedding tho I get married on the 9th August 2014




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