- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
The backstory is that my fiancé and I met after college. He lived in a house of 8ish guys (they occupied two sides of a town home) and I lived with 3 girls in a pretty cool post-college town. We all became very close friends and were pretty inseparable. Several years later the guys and girls who were in serious relationships started moving in together in different towns. A guy, who lived with my Fiance started dating this terrible (and very insecure) girl. She tried way too hard to fit it, would invite herself to events, and tell these ridiculous stories. What made it worse was that she was terribly socially awkward, such as always talking over people (a large group would be be out for a drink after work just trying to unwind and catch up and she would just get loud and start talking over people, so weird) or trying to “one up” everyone’s stories (think Penelope from SNL). She was pretty unbearable to be around.
My Fiance and I moved out of state for work and we haven’t had to spend time with this couple since then, but many of our friends still see them at events. Turns out that right before we left the area terrible girl and her Boyfriend or Best Friend started to realize that they were not being invited to events because people didn’t want to me around her (like birthday dinners, sunday brunches, casual things…). Well, she became very upset and it was just around the time we got engaged. At that point she became obsessed with being invited to the wedding. My best friend in the entire world (a bridesmaid) would see her out with our group and she would immediately find my best friend and say “Has (bride) done her wedding list? We’re invited, right?” Of course it was way too early for us to have a final list, but my friend would tell her that she didn’t know. (Let me also mention that this same girl, when I moved out of town, made it a point to tell my best friend that we shouldn’t be friends anymore because we weren’t good friends for each other – – so weird, we are all 28-33 years old, such high school BS).
Fast forward 6 months, I get a call from my best friend one evening (she had recently taken a few vacation days to fly out and help me find a wedding dress in my new state) and she said that a group was out and one of the girls asked how the trip was and how dress shopping went… As my BFF started to reply, terrible girl jumps in and goes off on a tare about how I should be careful with the type of dress I select because of my body and how there were not many styles I could pull off. She continues to comment that she thinks I have “body and eating issues” (yes, you heard me, at this point, my jaw was on the floor). Of course people stuck up for me, but she took the position that they had to defend me bc they were my friends. We’ll it really bothered me that she said these things (I started crying pretty hard). It was a combination of the fact that, at this point, I hated this girl and that we almost lost my sister several years ago to an eating disorder. It was a terrible time in my life. There was a 4-6 month stretch where my sister was in and out of rehab and, day by day, we weren’t sure how much longer her body could hang in – – it was awful. So for this girl to say something so loosely to put me down really hit home.
Anyway, as soon as that happened, I told my Fiance she was absolutely not invited to the wedding. He immediately said that I was being a baby and that this was caddy girl stuff. Since that time, this issue has been the ONLY thing that my Fiance and I have had an argument about that is wedding related (everything else has been fairly easy, knock on wood). When I say argument, it is the only wedding situation that has made me break down and cry. His position is that because this girl lives with my FI’s friend, that it is in poor taste not to invite him with a guest. I get that, but certainly thing this is an exception to the rule.
Around Christmas last year, we get a card in the mail from this girl and her Boyfriend or Best Friend and in her handwriting is says “We can’t wait to celebrate with you in August!” That is it, not Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays (like every other card we received. So clearly in girl language I took at as “I want you to know that I expect to be invited to the wedding.” This sparked more crying and fighting.
Fast forward we are 5 weeks til the wedding, I sent an invitation to JUST the guy’s name 6 weeks ago and he’s already sent a text to my Fiance to see if she is invited, which she is, based on my FIs decision. He promised weeks ago that he would call the guy and tell him the situation (which any normal person would probably politely decline knowing that the bride was upset and uncomfortable) but my friends and I know for a fact that she will 100% come so she can see everyone, be in photos and feel like part of our “group” (I use “group” so loosely now that we are getting older).
So, if you are reading this, I appreciate you making it though the whole story. I would appreciate any advice you can give. It has been so fun to get our RSVPs in the mail, but now that most of them are in, I have been dreading receiving this couple’s RSVP. I have never had anyone get to me like this girl has and my Fiance just doesn’t understand how this terrible girl operates. I told him that I can see her walking up to me at the wedding and saying “wow, you look nice. I am really surprised you pulled off that type of dress” My Fiance thinks I am crazy and that she would never say anything like that at a wedding. This girl has no filter and I wouldn’t put it past her.
Anyway, any advice? Has anyone ever had to deal with a situation like this?
(PS: My sister has fully recovered and is happy, healthy and more amazing than ever 🙂