My mum explained it to me that 2 yr olds are very egocentric, and want to be in control. They haven’t yet learnt about the feelings of others and want it to be all about them. Hence, the terrible twos.
I believe that my daughter is really well behaved for a 2yr old. She will act out and chuck tantrums, but overall she is really well mannered, uses thank you alot and the pleases are just starting to be used regularly as well.
I use a naughty spot regularly as it is needed. And at the moment, we mainly use it because when we saying something she doesnt want to hear like “Please stop that” she will retaliate with “No I’m busy”. I have found that because her attention span is short I keep the time out short, and then when I take her out I explain why she was there. Ask for an apology, then I tell her I love her and we miss and make up. I try to leave her there for no longer then a minute, but if she is screaming and carrying on then I ignore it until she calms down. Somedays it is more effective then others, but she knows she is in trouble when she is put into a naughty spot and we always talk about how wonderful it is to have a good girl when she comes out. I have also used the naughty spot in the middle of a shopping centre. I had a big problem of her climbing in under clothes racks and things when we were at the shops. but that has become less of an issue since I started putting her in a naughty spot in public.
As for pulling hair and biting. Yep we definatly went through that!! I found the best thing to do was not over react and give her bad attention. I would put her straight into the naughty spot and ignore her for around a minute. And then I would explain that she had really hurt and upset mummy, and she learnt to apologise. I still have problems every now and then with her biting other kids, such as her cousins. And if she does do that we stop what we are doing right away, pack up and leave. I am trying my best to teach her that her actions have consequences.
My daughter now knows if she is well behaved she will get time on the shopping centre playground, or get a turn on one of the kids rides before we leave to go home. If she misbehaves she doesn’t get a thing except a turn in the naughty spot.
I think children can be testing at times. And the best thing we can do is remain calm, not let them see they are winning by upsetting us, and being consistent with the behaviour we expect from them and also the rewards and punishments we give.
Another trick that I had suggested to me by the childcare centre was to concentrate on positives not negatives, For instance if I put her in the naughty spot for biting me, when I am talking to her about why she was put in there I tell her “the best way to get Mummys attention is to give me a hug and a kiss, Mummy loves Hugs and Kisses!!” or if I am asking her to stop something…. such as we had an issue with her wanting to squash the young hand rasied bird we brought into the house. So instead of harping on her about stop hitting the bird, or stop scaring the bird. i say don’t forget we have to be gently with the bird. He is a baby, and is delicate, have to be gentle. And then I show her how to be gentle. I was suprised at how well that worked, but it really got her concentrating on the right way to do something instead of the wrong way to do something.