- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I do… I can’t even focus today because of how sad I feel. I was a girl who never planned my own wedding… but dreamed of my proposal. I wanted it to be special and make me feel special because he put a lot of time and effort into planning it. Honestly, I feel let down because of how it happened.
My fiance and I have been talking marriage for months now and knew it was something we wanted to do, so talking about getting engaged was no surprise. About a month ago, I accidentally ruined hisfirst engagement plan… it was right after he had asked my dad for permission to marry me, we were laughing and talking about how funny it was my dad announced this to my whole family. Then he suddenly changed the subject to an outdoor hobby we both enjoy. I was a little put off but still totally kidding when I said it would be silly to propose during one of our outings to do this activity, because the ring could be easily lost….. I mentioned someone I knew who had had this very thing happen to her…. and then my fiance started crying a little and was very upset…. turns out… that WAS how he was going to propose to me. I felt sooo dumb but honestly had no idea and apologized profusely. I felt as though I just pushed my own engagement back a few months because he couldn’t use that idea even though I disliked it.
I’m in the middle of switching medicines this week and told him ahead of time I’d be super emotional/feeling down and not really wanting to go out much while this was going on. He wanted to take me out nearly every night and we went out a few times but I had a hunch he wanted to propose then, only he didn’t because of the way I was feeling. He even told me he was waiting for me to feel better to ask.
Finally, I was so tired of still feeling sick on the medication, that I just made plans to go out anyway. I wanted to surprise him one morning by taking him out to a park for brunch…. just him and me, mainly to get my mind of all the mishaps that had been going on about the proposal in general…. mostly to get out of the house and just have a nice date with him.
He proposed to me while we were there and I said yes, but I had a horrible dissapointing feeling all day and even cried about it since. He didn’t make it special at all, didn’t get down on one knee because it was muddy, just… asked. And that was that.
I was so mad until he told me he had planned on proposing to me in the park… I honestly thought he just mooched my idea for a quiet morning with him because he didn’t think of anything better or couldn’t wait till I was feeling more like myself.
Don’t take me wrong here, I am SO happy to be engaged to the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with….. it just hurts right now. So many people are wanting to hear the story I don’t really want to share because it makes me feel like I wasn’t worth the time or effort it took to make it something memorable.
What I need advice on is should I share this with him now or not? He is perfectly ok with the way he proposed, I’m the one who isn’t. I don’t want to make him feel terrible over something we can’t change, but if it’s making me really unhappy should I talk to him about it? Would this benefit the relationship in any way, or do I just need to get over it?