(Closed) Terribly dissapointed… :(

posted 9 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it will really hurt him if you tell him, and there is no way to fix it now. I think it was a sweet proposal. Try and stay positive about it and remember that you’re ENGAGED! Laughing

Post # 4
Member
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@SimplyChic11: NO, you absolutely do not share this with him. He can’t go back in time and change how he proposed, and if he cried when you ruined his first proposal idea, he is obviously a sensitive guy. What good could possibly come of you telling him that you weren’t happy with the way he proposed?

 

As someone who has been through medication changes before, I think that is where this is coming from. I hope that if it wasn’t for that throwing off your mood you would have been thrilled, rather than crying because it wasn’t the proposal you had pictured in your head.

Post # 5
Member
6996 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

It doesnt usually happen as romantically as we wish and im so sorry it didnt meet your expectations… my sister was proposed to lying in bed, after a fight, watching sally jesse raphael, in tears – so it could be worse.

Just try and focus on the happiness of being engaged – its such a special time – being married is great but that period of engagement is just bliss.

Post # 5
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I have a rule.  If there is nothing that can be done about it, I let it go.  You’ve said yes so get out there with the bridal magazines and start planning.  Focus on the best part that is yet to come.

Post # 6
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t think there is any benefit to telling him… what’s done is done. Neither of you can “fix” it.

I can understand your feelings. My Fiance didn’t go down on one knee or say anything special or anything, and I was kind of disapointed at first. However, I think you need to focus on what is really important. The way your Fiance cares for and supports you everyday should show you how much he loves you far more than a more romantic proposal ever could have. My Fiance does so much for me and loves me so much that it completely makes up for his lack of being romantic, lol. He’s still my partner for life, no doubt in my mind. Think about all the things that show you how much your Fiance loves you daily, the way he will for the rest of your lives, and the disappointment will slowly go away.

Happy wedding planning!

Post # 7
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

No, I don’t think you should tell your Fiance.  I think you should stop focusing on “unspecial” your proposal was (even though it sounded really sweet to me!) and start focusing on the fact that this man proposed to you right in the middle of a tumultuous week for you – if THAT doesn’t say “Hey Babe -I’m sticking with you through thick and thin,”  then I don’t know what does.   

It sounds like you have a really special guy who loves you unconditionally and gets along well with your family.  Count your blessings….in 10-15 years….the proposal won’t (shouldn’t) matter, but the fact that he is “with” you no matter how you are feeling should.

Post # 8
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i agree with the above posters.  I think you should try and give him a break – he had been waiting for you to feel up to going out somewhere, and probably was so excited you wanted to go to the park, that he took his first chance to propose.

Post # 9
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think that’s a great story, actually.  He seems like he was excited and anxious to propose and since his other plan fell through, he saw opportunity for a new one.  It should be memorable because that’s when he asked you to marry him, not how he did it.  I understand your feelings because we are bombarded with images and stories of “perfect” proposals.  I don’t think you should mention it to him at all.  Give it some time, and I bet your feelings will change.  And, congratulations!

Post # 10
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think instead of telling him I would focus instead on changing your frame of mind. I understand why you’re upset, I get it. But sometimes not all guys are great at the surprise element or good at guessing what his lady would really like. (Just had a convo about it with my Fiance this week.)

The fact that he tried several times to find the perfect time/place to propose and thought about how you were feeling (with the medicine) shows how sweet of a guy he is. And he probably didn’t want to wait too much longer, so he couldn’t help it.

I’d 1.) Realize the unfortunate truth that some proposals are more “romantic” than others. 2.) Focus on being engaged rather than the proposal. 3.) Think of a way to tell others how he proposed so you aren’t embarassed. Think, “We went out for a picnic one morning and he proposed in this beautiful park. 4.) If you are still down about the proposal, maybe plan a special night for you two to celebrate the fact that you’re engaged! Go gangbusters and surprise him with taking him out to dinner, do something fun, etc. Maybe it’ll excite you more about your engagement and show him that you enjoy how sweet he has been the past few months leading up to the proposal.

I understand the romantic frame of mind though, hence my username.

Post # 11
Member
6888 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

What is more important how he proposed or that you are engaged?  I don’t mean to sound harsh but you need to get over how he proposed. The main thing is he did and you said yes.  What matters now planning your wedding to the man you love

Post # 12
Member
10640 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I was proposed to wearing sweats.  It was actually a really sweet day and he planned a lot, but I felt a tiny bit disappointed at the time that he waited for me to change out of the cute dress I was wearing because I wanted to take pictures!

I personally prefer the non-over-the-top stories.  I think you have a good one to tell.  If you’re still feeling disappointed, the 2 of you should plan a romantic day to celebrate your engagement. Then you’ll have a proposal story and a celebration story.  Enjoy being engaged!  Laughing

Post # 13
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I hate to sound mean, but I think you set yourself up for disappointment, you had high expectations and are too focused on the proposal when you should be focused on getting to marry the man you love. You absolutely should not tell him, he has already been defeated enough in the process, you shot down one proposal idea (unintentionally- but to him I’m sure he felt bad), then you were feeling poorly and he wasn’t able to do anything then. 

Something my mom always says to me is you can’t change your past, and you can’t change people around you, the only thing you can change is your own attitude. So I think maybe you need to adjust your attitude a little, be exicited to marry/ spend your life with your sweet Fiance, feel special because your Fiance could not wait to propose to you so he did the first chance he got.

I think all the pp’s had good advice so I hope they help encourage you some.

Post # 14
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You should not tell him.  It wouldn’t do anything but make him feel bad.

Honestly, until I joined WB I had never heard of anyone going on and on about HOW someone proposed.  In my world the importance is placed on the fact that someone actually did propose.  

 

Post # 15
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@SimplyChic11:  I understand feeling a little let down that the proposal wasn’t all you imagined, but I agree with the PPs that you need to work through this yourself and not tell you Fiance.

Remember, you essentially poohpoohed his original “romantic” idea and he had to come up with a new plan.

I was proposed to on the spur of moment (he was going to propose to me a couple of weeks later but got excited) on the way home from a Hallowe’en party.  I was sweaty from a gross wig, had makeup running down my face, and was slightly intoxicated.  He got down in the middle of the street and told me he loved me and would I marry him.  It was honestly the best moment of my life.  There was no ring.  No grand gesture.  But it was AWESOME.  We ran all the way home to call my parents at 2am!  lol  I have never been so happy…except the day I married him.  lol

I think that you’re let down because you’ve been dreaming about ‘the moment’ for so long…I sort of wonder whether your Fiance could ever measure up?  I think that it’s okay to be sad, because you’re letting go of a dream…but I think that you need to realise that this has more to do with your expectations than how your Fiance feels about you or what he did or did not do.

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