(Closed) Terribly dissapointed… :(

posted 9 years ago in Proposals
Post # 31
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

It’s a proposal. That’s what matters. It sucks that you wanted something super-special and didn’t get exactly what you wanted, but the fact that he proposed, period, is a fantastic thing. You need to move on and look forward to other things instead of dwelling on something like this. Letting him know about your disappointment is only going to hurt him and possibly your relationship, because there is absolutely nothing he can do about it now.

Post # 32
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Congratulations on your engagement!  I think it’s really sweet that your Fiance took the first available opportunity to propose to you…the other stuff didn’t pan out, and he was going to propose no matter what!  I think that in itself will make a great story.

I inadvertantly ruined a couple of proposals too and had no idea until my now-husband told me after the fact.  The wierd thing is, our proposal story is more fun!  People get a huge kick out of hearing how the poor guy just couldn’t get a break until he proposed at a random moment (which I think was just as beautiful as anything planned).

I agree with other posters that you should not air your disappointment.  You have every right to feel it, but expressing it to Fiance probably would not be constructive.

Post # 33
45 posts
  • Wedding: January 2012

Hrm, this might come off as harsh but it isn’t meant to. If you didn’t like how he asked, you should have said no. I’m not sure it is the scenario you’re placed in that is what makes it romantic… it should be the fact that he has decided he wants to spend the rest of his life with you and only you. There’s nothing you can do now so you should color the memory fondly, not negatively cause it’s one you’re going to have forever.

Post # 34
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I always wanted to be surprised.  Not as in the “out of the blue” kind of engagement, because i believe couples should talk about all that stuff first.  But i never wanted to know exactly when it was coming.  Unfortunately, Fiance is TERRIBLE at lying and sneaking around (which for the most part is a good thing).  He would make up things he had to go and do when he was really looking at rings or picking up the ring or whatever.  And he would ask me questions about my likes and dislikes that were terribly obvious.  But to this day, he still thinks he surprised me.  And i would NEVER tell him otherwise.  There are only two people that know i knew in advance (well, other than everyone who reads this, haha) and thats my boss and my best friend.  I lied to everyone else and said i was sooo surprised.  He is happy in the knowledge that he surprised me, and I am happy to be marrying the man i love.  Which is really the most important thing.  Not everything happens how you would like them to, but it’s how you choose to react to it that make the situation good or bad. 

Post # 35
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I completely understand your feelings about being let down with the proposal…mine was the same way. I knew he was proposing and what day and time it would be. I didn’t know where he was going to propose, but I had a good idea. I guess I just wanted it to be a surprise, but it wasn’t and to be honest, I know it’s because he wasn’t doing well financially but dinner after the proposal wasn’t too great either. We went to a little pizza shop.

I’m just like you actually. I never dreamed about the wedding day…it was always the engagement that I dreamed about…the actual “will you marry me” moment. 

But I did not share my feelings with my Fiance or anyone else. To make him feel better I told everyone that I was completely surprised, but in all reality I was kind of let down. So just start planning and having fun with the wedding! 

Post # 36
375 posts
Helper bee

I’m so sorry that things didn’t go as you’d hoped but, you know, there’s a very real chance that–with a little distance–the proposal story could turn into a fabulous misadventure with lots of laugh potential which makes it even sweeter than the grand romantic gesture you had been hoping for. Just give it some time and focus on the good bits 🙂

As a planner, control freak and perfectionist I tend to imagine how things could go all. the. time. And several times I’ve been disappointed because they didn’t go how they went in my head and that disappointment has had some disatrous results. I’ve learned (and, oh, it’s been such a hard lesson some times) that “planning” anything but my own actions (and maybe preparing some choice reactions–practice makes perfect, right?) is not a good idea and that has made rolling with things a lot easier.

But congratulations on your engagement, however it happened 🙂

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