Post # 1
Bees- I need help. I hate having my picture taken. I am far from my ideal weight. I wear street size 14-16, probably closer to 16. I was recently sized and in bridal I am almost exactly a 20. (a few inches off in the waist only). My fiancé isn’t thin, but certainly not fat. He is smaller than me though. I am so worried (almost to the point of tears) that I will be spending $3000 on a photographer only to hate every picture that has me in it. Talk about low self esteem. Id like to drop a size or so I the next six months before my wedding (i don’t think that’s too unrealistic). I know this probably sounds crazy but does/did anyone else feel the same and how did you get over your fears?
Post # 3
@Honey-Bee: Have you taken any engagement pics with your photographer? I recommend doing that to get comfortable with both him and in front of the camera.
Post # 4
Loads of time before then, seriously. Don’t stress 🙂
Post # 5
@Honey-Bee: I am a street size 16. I am 5’10” and 205. My Fiance is 6’4″ and 160ish. I am sure you can see the discrepancy in size in your mind. I always can. But then, he looks at me. He tells me I am beautiful. I realize that I am so much harsher on myself than anyone else is. I still turn him on every time…. and it ISN’T just my personality. He truly loves me how I look. I might not. But he is the one who matters to me.
I found a dress that I love on me. Everytime I put it on, I feel amazing. An awesome pair of shoes helps too. I also spent the time getting the proper undergarments. I was suprised what a huge difference it made in how my dress looked.
With everything in it’s proper place, I feel amazing. That shines thru in photos. When I know I look good, I take better pictures. I may not look like the size 2 bridesmaid sitting next to me. But Fiance didn’t ask her to marry him. He didn’t fall in love with her. He fell in love with me. And I am proud of that… and my smile gets a little bit bigger.
Post # 6
@Honey-Bee: Oh honey I feel you! i wear a size 10, but it’s the heaviest I’ve ever been, and I have major body image issues right now. And I’m generally not photogenic at all, whatever my weight. And MrMojito refuses to smile in pictures unless he’s drunk…I’m super stressed about the photography! I want to cry when I think about the pictures too!
I used to be really anti engagement photos, but I think it will be good, just to get comfortable. And I’m going to try to be in a lot of pictures over the next year, so I’m more used to it.
Post # 7
I have the same feeling, so you’re not alone! In fact, I went shopping yesterday with my Mom for an upcoming wedding (cousin). The dressing room mirrors and lighting were a nightmare, it made me feel awful. However, I found some clothes that flatter my figure and highlight the awesome parts of it. So don’t sweat it too much girl, every bride is beautiful, all the wedding pictures I’ve seen, the brides are positively radiant.
Post # 8
@Honey-Bee: I worry about this all the time as well. To be honest, neither myself nor my fiance are very photogenic. I could probably count on one hand the number of pictures of the two of us that are at least halfway decent … Not good, but halfway decent. I don’t find myself attractive at all, but I’d say I look much much better in person than I do in photos. I don’t have the issue of my fiance being smaller than I am, but that doesn’t mean I don’t stress out about how we’ll look in our wedding pictures!
I wish I had some great advice for you, but I’ll just say something I always tell myself when I start getting down about my appearance: We’re our own worst critics. It’s hard to remember this when you’re looking at pictures of yourself and picking them apart. But it is important to remember.
Post # 9
@LadyCupcake: Thanks for the awesome uplifting post.
I too hate the way I look in pictures- just so bottom-heavy, tired eyes, double-chin… yuck all around. I’m worried no amount of makeup or expensive dress will make me look OK. Not to mention SO is super-skinny so I am bigger than him even when my weight is down. The most stressful part of the whole wedding thing for me is the idea of being photographed!!
I’m hoping I’ll just be too swept up in the excitement of it all to be so self-conscious when the big day finally arrives.
Post # 10
I was considering passing on the engagement photos our photographer is offering- but I think now I will do them. Maybe it will prep me for things I can do differently in my wedding pictures. Thanks for the kind words!
Post # 11
@LadyCupcake: That was beautiful. And perfectly put. WE are certainly our own harshest critics.
Post # 12
I do understand. I think ALL brides who have EVER been truly unhappy with their weight deal with this. You can feel comfortable day to day, but you have a certain “look” you want in those wedding photos. And your worst nightmare is getting them back and none of them look how you want because you look bigger than you want. The day is gone, the pics are a done deal and you’re unhappy about something that you’ve been waiting to see on your shelves for decades, right?
I can tell you this; stop. lol DO NOT let this ruin your anticipation of your day. You are who you are, and if you want to lose a little-fine. But a size 16 isn’t even all that plus sized these days. By regular “bridal” standards? Sure, considering many you see are like a size 2-4-6. But honestly, take a look around you. Thats not the true representation of society anymore. Brides come in all sizes and clearly, this man is VERY attracted to you and finds your size appealing.
My advice? Meet yourself halfway ..do things to tone, tighten and maybe even drop a little bit. But don’t make that the focus because truly, its not even necessary. I only say it because it might make YOU feel less anxious and anxiety STEALS joy from this amazing day.
Post # 13
Read this: http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/07/a-way-to-weigh-what-you-weigh-when-you-wed/
And try to breathe, lady. If you lose weight, you lose weight, but buy a dress that fits you NOW, and revel in the fact that your man loves you at any size.
Post # 14
@Neetch: What a truly great article!!
@Honey-Bee: try and be as honest with your photographer as you can about your insecurities. They can shoot from certain angles and work magic if they know ahead of time what your concerns are!Also we are alwase our harshest critics, I am sure you will be stunning!