hm, here’s a bit of advice. it seems like there are 2 issues here.
with the marriage thing, you just need to bring it up. if you are seriously going to spend the rest of your life with this man you are going to have some uncomfortable conversations, that’s just something you have to get over. talking about wills, and what you want when you die, discussing large amounts of debt, talking about sexual needs and desires, planning for the future, discussing mortgage rates, i don’t think anyone finds these conversations to be super duper fun, but they have to happen. you need to talk to him but you also need to clearly tell him what you want without being threatening, accusatory, etc. assure him of how happy you are, that you love him, that he’s a great guy, that you love how he is with your son, say all of that first. and then explain that that’s why you want to talk about marriage, because you want to be married in the future, and you can see yourself being married to him. ask what he thinks and what he wants for his life in terms of marriage and relationships. then, you just have to listen and accept what he says or walk away. IMO, at your ages you haven’t really been together that long, so I can see why he doesn’t think it’s an issue at all. DH and I lived together much longer than that, knowing we would eventually get married, and most of our friends who met in their 20s were together 4+ years before tying the knot.
the other issue is money, which is again a tough subject. it seems like this part is a pattern. you need to be direct about finances. guys tend not to read between the lines. that said, i do think it’s weird that he hasn’t offered. at one point in our relationship (living together but not married) dh was in school and i was making literally three times his salary. we split rent, but i definitely shouldered the load on other stuff. i paid for trips to see his and my family, if we went out i often paid or at least offered, when i wanted to buy some fancy furniture i just bought it, i didn’t ask him for half and i just didn’t make a big deal about it. at one point a school bill came up out of nowhere due to a billing error, and i covered it for him. the guy was busting his ass working 45 hours a week and in school full time, he wasn’t blowing money on crap, he just didn’t make quite enough. we weren’t married but i wasn’t going to just watch him flounder because i already considered us partners. we didn’t even have joined finances at the time, it just seemed natural.
i think one difference is that dh and i got together really young (21), so it wasn’t like i had a house and an established career when we met. i think in some ways that made it easier to think of everything as “ours” from the beginning, because we both started with nothing. with your guy this may require a conversation. i agree with a pp that said he may be dense or he may be a jerk. he may be trying to be respectful and not offend you by offering help, he might think you want to keep everything separate, he might not realize how stressed you are…or, he might know completely that you need financial help and want to get married and be totally ignoring that. tough to say without a talk.