(Closed) Terrified I'm wasting my time

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 46
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

The communication/marriage issue is because you haven’t spoken up. But I’d be really wary of marrying a man that was ok with you struggling to survive when he is in a position to take a little bit more of the load. What partner is ok with that?

Post # 47
5304 posts
Bee Keeper

You say you ‘get along with him great and never fight’  Yeah, so long as he gets his way on everything and you walk on eggshells and don’t rock the boat. When you’ve occassionally dared to bring up marriage or finances he shuts you down orcalls you crazy or shrugs off your concerns. And you want to marry him, why?

If you’re struggling financially trying to support you and your son while you finish your nursing degree, take your parents up on their offer for the two of you to live there instead of paying toward rent or mortgage with someone who won’t discuss marriage with you and will watch you counting out change to put gas in the tank and not offer to help. Your boyfriend clearly is looking out for himself first and you need to do the same for you and your son.

Aloof, insensitive and selfish boyfriends rarely make good husbands even if they do eventually propose. 

Post # 48
28 posts
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
RobbieAndJuliahaha :  Agreed.

Paying for gas with change… I’ve actually been there. And my fiance was the cause of it. He lived almost an hours drive away from me, and i had a much lower income than he did. My fiance may not be glaringly romantic, but he’s practical. He started leaving money on the counter and telling me to take it for gas. Eventually he just gave me a credit card he never used. Your significant other is supposed to be your partner. If they see you struggling, and not only refuse to help (when they’re in a much better position), but have no empathy, that’s a problem. 

If this man actually called you crazy for bringing up marriage after many years, I’d be packing my things and headed to my parents. Honestly, his lack of empathy and callousness would be enough for me to leave. Good luck! 

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