(Closed) terrified of being a fat bride am I the only one?(dresses)

posted 7 years ago in Dress
Post # 31
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2000

[post moderated for snark]

Post # 32
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Pause. She isnt happy with her appearance. What’s wrong with that? Why are people doing the “life could be so much worse” thing? Of course it can. But this is a wedding site. Where brides talk about their weddings, it’s not exactly CNN. This is her concern. But her feelings aren’t valid because children are starving? For real? Everyone has something small they wish they could change about themselves. It’s normal. The OP wasn’t extreme or over dramatic, she’s just looking for advice like everyone else on the 6,000+ pages on this board. 

Post # 33
Member
1786 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Nope. I have this same feeling. Please ignore the people posting negative comments. Just because you are not as big as other people does not mean you are comfortable with your size! After being a nfl cheerleader and pageant queen it is really hard to deal with my current size. I am a size 8. My ideal size is a 4. Although I love my engagement pictures I do wish I was 10-15 lbs smaller in them. The best thing I can say is try to come up with a plan to fix it. I just ordered the 21 day fix! I can’t wait to get it in the mail. Maybe you should try a new and exciting regiment to kick start your lifestyle change. Emphasis on lifestyle change and not crash diet or temporary diet. You are not alone and I wish you the best! You will look fabulous on your wedding day! 

Post # 34
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel

View original reply
futuremrscopeland:  I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you already knew you were going to get a ton of “you look good just the way you are” and that wasn’t the point of your post. 

I know how you feel. I am 5’4 and weigh about 125 lbs but I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin right now either. It doesn’t matter as much to me if other people see me as looking fine or good- I want to FEEL good and be happy with how I look for me! 

I think that as long as you are living in a healthy way, there’s no problem with working towards a body shape you are happier with. Join one of the threads where bees hold eachother accountable and start (or keep, it sounds like you are making a solid effort) going to the gym and going for walks. 

Good luck! And as long as you are being healthy don’t let anyone make you feel bad for how you feel!

Post # 35
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel

View original reply
leahkate:  Seriously? She has the right to post whatever she wants on her own thread. You have no right to judge her for how she feels about herself. 

Post # 36
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
AtoZ2015:  This.

We’re all insecure and worried about how we’ll look in wedding pictures, but saying you’re worried about being fat when you’re thin is ridiculous. It sounds like in your mind, you’re still 200 pounds, and those self-esteem issues are still haunting you. You can’t see how you actually look.

Meanwhile, I’m ACTUALLY struggling with being overweight and working really hard to get to my goal weight by my wedding day, and seeing someone who is my height and 40 pounds lighter claiming they’re “fat” really doesn’t help. I hope you will be more careful about your wording in the future.

Post # 37
Member
1756 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I do understand being afraid of slipping back to a place that you worked so hard to get out of, and I definitely understand wanting to look and/or feel your best.  But please work on your self-esteem, and try and find some perspective.  You are obviously a beautiful woman who has no need to actively fear being a fat bride.

Society has been so evil to women…we are constantly bombarded with images of “the ideal body” and it’s practically unobtainable.  Find your own ideal based solely on how YOU feel, not how anyone else tells you to feel.  And please, please find some love for yourself, no matter what size.  It’s definitely easier said than done, but don’t let those images beat you.

Post # 38
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
futuremrscopeland:  

 

You are going to be fine. I was 5’5 and 135lbs when I was engaged and can totally related to how you feel when I tried on dresses.. I am fine on everyday situation but when it comes to wedding gown, I feel that I’m too chubby, not the look that I have always dream of. 

 

When is your big day? you can still work toward your ideal weight.  My goal was 115-120, I ended up hit 121-123lbs on the week of my big day… I’m guessing I was 123lbs on my big day and I look fine with my tom shoes whole day long (wasn’t intended but LOL, I could not find my heels). And yes, me too, after I taking birth control, my weight go from 120nish all the way to 140 (record high).  Took me forever to push it to 135lbs but…. it seems mission impossible …so I stop taking pills, and it helps pushing it to 128-130lbs…then I went on very strict diet and go swimming, hot yoga …. and by my big day, I was at 121-123lbs…  it has been 6 months now, I’m back to my normal weight which is around 126-128lbs… 

 

 

Post # 39
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

People, this is a wedding site. Everybody have their own right on how they feel about themselves. She is not critizing others and only concern with her own weight and how she will look in her dress. Just because she is smaller than others, does not mean her feeling is not valid.  This is what internet/wedding forum for, where bride can openly, comfortably vent on something that she cannot vent in real life.  If you don’t feel comfortable about what she wrote, then don’t read it or just skip the entire post.  Why people feel they have the right to jump on others?  That’s just mean. … 

Post # 40
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2000

She IS judging. She said she doesn’t want to be “a fat bride.” Since when did she become the authority on what’s fat? So what if someone is “a fat bride?” I hate it when people who are clearly thin post these whining “I’m fat” posts. They do it for attention and validation. 

Post # 41
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

1. Your not fat

View original reply
futuremrscopeland:  

2. Your over thinking it

3. All them dresses look fit on you

4. Dress one’s shape makes you look the thinist as it pulls your waist in.

5. Your other half will think you look amazing in a black bin line

View original reply
futuremrscopeland:  

Post # 42
Member
1992 posts
Buzzing bee

I think “I don’t want to be fat” usually translates into “I want to be valued and loved, and I can’t imagine myself as being either of those things when I perceive myself as ‘fat.'”

There’s a lot of hatred towards bodies that aren’t decidedly able, binary and thin (and that’s wrapped up in a whole lot of ugly classism and white supremacy) and it’s hard not to project that onto yourself as a horrible ‘market value’. Unless a trained nutritionist is telling you that you’ll literally die if you don’t have pilates-toned arms by your wedding (which I somehow doubt) you’re just wallowing in self-hate, and polluting the air for others trying to love themselves. Measuring your worth as a person by your height/weight ratio is a really effective way for staying miserable. 

Don’t give yourself an excuse to freak out over your weight for the engagement photos –schedule the shoot with your photographer for ‘soon’ and make a day-of appointment to get your hair and makeup done and feeling fabulous (you think when you’re 80 you’re going to look at those photos and think ‘gee, if only I had been five pounds lighter’?). Go to the gym for the endorphins and the health benefits and stay off the scale. Exfoliate and moisturize and give your body tender loving care, especially the parts you have a hard time being kind to. Go outside, read a book, be the dynamic wonderful person your future husband fell for. All easier said than done, but you’ve come this far.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 8 months ago by Speck_.
Post # 43
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I understand–but a little something I’ve learned while on this planet called Earth: Confidence is Key! No matter your weight, height, etc. etc if you walk into the room and are confident trust me, nobody and I mean NOBODY will even think about your weight. Have you ever wondered how you walk into a party and you get “some” looks but there could be a girl who you don’t think is attractive b/c of whatever but guys are drooling over her? Yassss honey, she walked in with so much confidence she made EVERYONE else a believer lol! You look great and I get we all have some self doubts, but when you walk down that aisle and pictures are snapping…that beautiful smile and those rocking curves will command their attention! 

Now…if someone snaps a akward pic of you mid-chewing and your eyes half closed, well…yea those pictures some how haunt you always–LOL!! You look great! 🙂

Post # 44
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

When I tried dresses on and then my best friend did too I realized that the main thing that made both of us feel fat was the lack of toning in our arms. Be careful of those feelings though, take some time to appreciate the things your body does for you and love your body because you sound exactly like my Future Sister-In-Law did when she had an eating disorder. That’s not to say in any way that you do, I don’t know you or your life, but please be careful.

Post # 45
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

View original reply
futuremrscopeland:  I’m about the same height and weight as you. I put on a little bit of weight recently, which took some adjusting, but I’m learning to love my body the way it is. I think you will look perfect! If you take care of yourself and you are happy, then that beauty will shine through. 

P.S. Dresses 1 and 2 give you some AMAZING curves

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 8 months ago by lr0901.
  • This reply was modified 6 years, 8 months ago by lr0901.

The topic ‘terrified of being a fat bride am I the only one?(dresses)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors