(Closed) Terrified of Tearing

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Can’t you just look at the scary tearing thread from a few months ago? No, I didn’t read it, but it’s there.

For what it’s worth, I didn’t tear with Moose.

*Runs away screaming.

Post # 4
427 posts
Helper bee

When I was having my first child, I tore AND they had to cut me twice. You wouldn’t thing there is much space to tear and get cut, but I guess there is! My recovery wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated. They gave me these weird diaper things filled with ice to wear because of the stitches and that helped a lot. I pushed for 3 hours so I was extra sore down there. What I hated was the fact that you cannot wipe..they give you a little bottle to rinse with filled with warm water that you have to use at home too. The water stings for a minute but it isn’t too bad. I was sore for maybe a week. I don’t remember how long the stitches took to desolve but after the first week of taking it easy and being careful, I was a lot better. That is just my experience though…all hospitals and birth centers are different. Either way, don’t be scared of tearing. It is pretty common. They have techniques that they use to prevent the tearing or to keep it at a minimum.

Post # 5
1553 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I had an episiotomy and still tore a little bit. At the time, I didn’t really even notice. I was sore for a few weeks afterward, but it really wasn’t as bad as I feared. I think the really bad tears that you hear horror stories about far less common.

Post # 7
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

I had a pretty bad tear. To tell you the truth.. the actual tearing doesn’t really hurt that badly… The recovery is another thing.. Walking around I would feel like all of my organs were pressing on the tear.. so I laid down a lot.. I would hold my urine because the pain was so terrible (And #2 was even worse as you can imagine). Eventually I started using the bathroom with a quirt bottle of water.. that way the urine did not have a chance to burn my tear. The salt baths made it feel much better and they give you this foam thingy to heal you faster. I was still able to get up and care for myself and my new baby but it was indeed pretty painful. 

Post # 9
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I don’t know how true this is, but my SIL told me that your ethnicity plays a part.  She said her doctor told her that portuguese and italian women have more “flexible” vaginas!  So I asked her, “what about me, I am french canadian?”  She goes “oh, you guys are tight!”  AAAHHHHH!!!!!!  But she wasn’t sure if her doctor was joking or not.

My sister tore terribly….all the way through.  The nurses in the hospital would come to check her and say “oh, you were the one they were talking about!”  That probably doesn’t help alleviate your fears!  Sorry!


Post # 10
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

My experience was similar to SweetCheeks except mine was all tearing, no cutting.  Recovery wasn’t as bad as I was expecting.  And I had an epidural so I couldn’t feel the repairs.

Post # 11
3 posts
  • Wedding: June 1995

I did not want an episiotomy with either of my pregnancies and tore with both. My tears were mild to moderate but in unusual places like my labia.  I got some stitches, I was sore for a few days, but overall recovery was fine.  I hated using the ice pack thingys but they helped tremendously.  I took my ibprofin religiously during recovery, as well as my stool softener and overall recovered very easily.  I was up an about almost immediately after and managed to get myself and my baby(ies) to their 2 day checkup without help from anyone. 

Don’t fret too much.  The “not knowing what to expect” thing is the hardest part of baby #1.  I was so much more relaxed and prepared when it came time to delivering baby #2 since I knew what to expect.

Oh, I did have an epidural with both deliveries though.  I so admire woman who can go through labor without one, but I am not one to deal with pain if I don’t have to! 

Post # 12
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

omg this is an awful, awful thread. Just reading this is good birth control.

Post # 13
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

So, I’m also very scared of this! My BFF just had a baby, and she told me that a squirt bottle becomes your best friend when going through your recovery. I know that doesn’t help, but that was what she told me!

Post # 14
4354 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I want my own children more than anything, but the thought of tearing/epis seriously makes me almost reconsider. My sister in law says it’s totally worth it in the end, but man just thinking about it makes me weak in the knees. I guess I won’t have a choice once I’m pregnant right? Tons of women do it, it’s natural… all that stuff? I hope.


Post # 15
801 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I never did the perineal massage or any other “prep” for that and I had a second degree tear.  I felt it tear but it felt more like searing heat (the ring of fire that for some reason my brain thinks felt like what scalding butter would feel like down there – all over instead of in one location) and then it was over.  It sucks but it didn’t last long enough to be that big a deal.  Very quickly after that, baby came out and my head totally was in another place than the fact that I tore and needed to be stiched up after the after-birth was delivered (that sucked more than I though it would).  In terms of my recovery I only did the whole rigamarole (pee, rinse with warm water, pat dry with washcloth, spray with dermaplast) thing for 2 days.  After that I didn’t need the dermaplast anymore.  I kept up with the warm water rinse and patting dry for another week after that.  By that time I just patted dry.  I did take an industrial sized motrin once a day for about 2 weeks so I know that helped but over all, totally wasn’t as bad as I had imagined it would be.

Post # 16
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

With my first they didn’t get a chance to do the episiotomy before I tore from one end to the other ( sorry TMI) and the recovery was the worst. As another poster said, pee’ing burned and I would hold it as long as possible. I had something around 20stiches I believe but it was 8yrs ago so that could be off a little.

Now my second, I only needed one little stich and they didn’t have to cut me so maybe it was because it was my second one, IDK.

It’s not the best thing to deal with but all in all it’s worth it for what you’re gaining from the pain. And, even though I know all about it, Fiance and I will be trying for one last little one in about 18months. Call me crazy lol

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