Post # 1
My boyfriend was diagnosed with cancer last Friday the 13th (!) and he will need his left testicle removed. Many things will follow, including a full body scan and probably chemotherapy.
The Dr. said there is a possiblilty of infertility, because many men who are sterile will develop this cancer. Not saying that cancer leads to this, but infertility and cancer are related. My boyfriend was devastated. He’s been a zombie for 2 days, and he is in enormous pain because his boys have swelled up to the size of a grapefruit. He can’t sleep, walk, or even think.
This guy was 5’8″, 155 lb, very muscular, energetic and sooo healthy. We went running together all summer and fall. It’s amazing that something like this could happen
But… he is expected to survive. I am totally fine with not having any kids with him. I told him I will stay with him no matter what, and we can adopt a couple of kids if we need to. I never never never EVER thought I could give this up for a man. I always dreamed of having 2 kids naturally. I may have to be happy with my awesome 5 year old son instead, and then adopt a set of siblings or something.
I love him so much that he is worth it all. I am in a very happy place because of this revelation. Sometimes you don’t know how much you love someone until you are tested.
I am dying to marry him. He made it apparent that he will be proposing to me “very soon”, and he will be focusing on getting better first. For the first time, I can put the engagement on the back burner for as long as it’s needed. I can wait for this!
If you read my previous posts, you would see that I am scared of being a waiting bee too long due to my biological clock. Now it seems my bio clock may not matter at all. And I am fine with it! I don’t get why suddenly me having another child naturally is far less important than it was say, a month ago.
I hope my perspective helps the waiting bees. xoxox
Post # 3
I wish him all the best. Please keep us updated.
Post # 4
If his sperm cells are healthy now, I would highly recommend freezing from sperm. The process has become less expensive as of late and really what is expensive about it is paying the yearly storage fee. If you plan to have children sooner rather than later then it shouldn’t be that expensive in the long run. If you have your heart set on having children with him I would take a serious look into it.
Also, a lot of men maintain fertility after chemotherapy. A lot of women too! A friend of a friend endured intense chemo from two bouts of leukemia as a child and went on to have three healthy children!
All fertility things aside, my thoughts are with you and your boyfriend during this difficult time. This is scary stuff, but you have each other.
Post # 5
Im so sorry you are going through this. At the end of the day, as long as he will be OK then that is all that matters! There are so many other options for kids.
Good luck with the surgery
Post # 6
@Mrs. Harmony: I have been reading your posts related to this over the past few days, and I have been thinking about you two. I’m so sorry that this is happening to you. I’m sure I speak for a lot of us when I say that realizing the gravity of your situation, it’s future implications, and the turmoil and fear you must be feeling really humbles me and opens my eyes to the acute nature of my own relationships problems.
I’m glad that you and your SO caught the cancer when you did and I am happy to hear that his overall prognosis is good. I am devastated for you though that this developement further jeopardizes your chances of having your own children, as I am also familiar with your concerns regarding children from your other posts. I know this is so difficult for you, but I can say that I think in the end this will all make you both stronger and bring you even closer together as a couple, and for that I can atleast see a light at the end of the tunnel, dim as it still may seem now.
As far as children in the future goes, adoption is always an option (and a very worthy one), but I wouldn’t completely dismiss the possibility of having your own children, especially since it means so much to you. I agree with SouthernCJ that if he will still be left with a healthy testicle, it is worth finding out more information about preserving his DNA for future implantation. There are invitro options, and surrogacy options as well if you yourself are not healthy enough to carry children when the time comes. Don’t give up yet!
Like I said previously, I really am thinking about you two, and sending positive vibes your way. I especially wish him luck during his surgery. Keep us posted as things unfold **HUGS**
Post # 7
I really admire your attitude toward this really upsetting situation…he is lucky to have you! Wishing you all of the best and hoping for a successful surgery!