- 10 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
SO my fiance and I met long distance and dated long distance for 5 years. 2.5 years ago he moved to Texas to be closer to me (yee haw!). Thanks to all the legal hullaballoo we have been legally married since Dec. 2008, but I was still in school then and we didn’t want to really consider ourselves actually married until we had a public religious ceremony and celebration with all of our family and friends! Only our parents know that we legally married, and they are 100% behind us all the way. Just before I graduated May 2010 from college, Mr. Tuna proposed! I was ecstatic. It feels to us like we are about to GET married… not that we are already there.
So now the wedding– we are getting married in Wales near where Mr. Tuna’s family lives. Well, as some of you might know, the marriage laws in the UK are a little archaic (and that’s the word used by an English officiant!). Apparently we will have some major difficulty having a marriage ceremony in the UK because we are already legally married. We want a Christian ceremony but are using a secular location (a terrace at the hotel overlooking a BEAUTIFUL lake with a tower coming up out of the water)
I mean seriously! You can see why we love this location! Plus, in England it’s really hard to get married in a church if you don’t LIVE in the immediate area.
So our remaining choices are…. get married by a Humanist officiant (who might be reluctant to do a religious-toned ceremony), a minister of some kind who is actually willing to perform a marriage outdoors (very rare in England from what I understand) or a friend/family member! The draw back of the first two is that they would only be able to perform a ceremony called a “Marriage Blessing” in which their wording has to be very careful… i.e. they can’t say “I now pronounce you man and wife” (because legally we already are) and a few other things like that. Theoretically a family member or friend would be able to say whatever they want and no one would be the wiser. Official officiants (no pun intended) have to be more careful because they can get in serious legal trouble!
I think our first choice would be a minister, and after that I’m not sure. There’s no specific friend/family person that pops into my head to do the ceremony for us. An uncle of Mr. Tuna’s has offered, but other than that, I’m having trouble identifying anyone who has the right combination of panache and know-how (plus a super close relationship with us).
but I’m really looking for someone here with a wider knowledge of English tradition and law than I have… anyone with any suggestions or comments or anything would be exceedingly useful to me.
Have any of you gotten married in England? Have any of you gotten married in another country and had difficulty with the legality of it all?
I appreciate all of your help in advance!