Texting vs calling

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969 - City, State

penny1403 :  Does he call you regularly to make sure you are safe? You mentioned he calls you on your way to and from work. 

My husband and I both prefer communicating via WhatsApp as it is super efficient and we can send random messages whenever we feel like it. We would call if say one of us needs information asap, like when he is at the grocery store and wants to check if I wanted anything and I wasn’t answering his texts. 

Post # 32
12229 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Three chatty phone calls just because when you already live together is different. I can see that feeling like a little much. That said, H always calls me briefly just before leaving work and during the day if there is something to discuss. 

Post # 34
2624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

penny1403 :  I think it definitely depends on if you live together or not. 

When I was just dating my husband, we would talk on the phone every night that we didn’t see each other (maybe 5 days a week) to talk about our day. Then when we moved in, it became a lot less. Most of our calls are now about picking up groceries or our dog or something lol. My husband does call me every day when he leaves work so I know when to start dinner. 

Personally, I really enjoy talking on the phone so I see your fiance’s point of view! I would get really annoyed if the service were bad though.

Post # 35
2079 posts
Buzzing bee

penny1403 :  Does he commute to/from work when these calls are taking place? I have a 2+ hour commute each day and NGL, the car rides get really boring and that’s when Darling Husband and I spend the most of our time on the phone catching up.

Post # 36
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I’m a texter and my SO is a caller. We chalk it up to our age difference (I’m a Millennial and he’s Gen X). He says that texting feels impersonal, I feel like devoting all of my attention to being on the phone for small chit-chat is an inefficient use of my time. He doesn’t like how tone can be misconstrued through text — sometimes he will text me and then make a follow up call to clarify the tone of his text lol. So we compromise. He’s gotten much better at texting for “small” stuff, and I’ve gotten better about just calling him instead of texting novels.

It honestly sounds like your SO calls you a lot more than the average person calls their partner. And calling until you answer? That would drive me nuts. It would also really annoy me if the service was spotty and the call kept cutting out. 

Post # 37
2892 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

penny1403 :  I’d be really annoyed if my husband called me that often, especially if I didn’t answer and he kept calling till I did, just to chit-chat. The only reason anyone should call me over and over till I answer is if it’s really f’ing important.

Have you tried talking to him about this? I’d understand this many calls (I guess) if you didn’t live together, but since you do it seems very excessive.

Post # 38
1973 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

D.H is all about the phone conversation. He will call daily on his ride home. When he’s away, he’ll call once or twice a day. When we were dating, at first I struggled with it, because I have a weird phone anxiety. But now I enjoy hearing his voice and have also started to call him to talk, for example when I’m driving home from errands and haven’t seen him since we both went to work that morning. 

Post # 40
1675 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

penny1403 :  Communication is a personal thing to couples and different for everyone, but to me that is an extremely excessive amount of calls just for chit chat considering you live together and seem to be on similar schedules.

Calling until you pick up is just rude – the only time I’d expect Darling Husband would do that is if there was an emergency eg. he was rushing our dog to the vet or a family member was in hospital. 

If I were you I’d have a chat to him about how it’s too excessive and that you can talk to him when you get home or whatever you would prefer.

Post # 41
1945 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

We would rather talk instead of texting but I text him when I go on lunch, if he’s free he will call me. I will also text him when I leave work and if he’s free he will call me 

Post # 42
1336 posts
Bumble bee

We do both text & calls.  Husband is a caller, he sometimes calls me three times in one day just to say hi when he he a moment of down time.  I may or may not answer, depending. He also texts throughout the day when there is something he wants to share, could be a joke, big breaking news,  a suggestion for date night, random whatever.  But none of this is every day.  Some days are particularly chatty and others particularly quiet.  He almost always calls me as he’s leaving work (I am usually home by then). And he texts me a simple “I love you” every morning like clockwork. 

I rarely call him.  I don’t like to converse on the phone with outside distractions.  I’d much rather wait o talk in person.  I text him here & there if there is something I want to share.  

Post # 43
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I don’t like to talk to anyone on the phone…husband included. I spend all day on the phone getting yelled at, so I’m totally a texter. If either myself or my husband is traveling, we try to face time before bed, but if it doesn’t happen then no big deal. 

Post # 44
1253 posts
Bumble bee

I always found phone calls awkward. Silence on the phone is awkward. Both speaking at the same time then saying “sorry you go” is awkward lol… I don’t like talking on the phone in general even with my good friends. It feels like a lot of effort. In person is different, it’s easy, you get to use your facial expressions and body expressions and read theirs, silence isn’t so bad in person because you’d be doing something together and share a glance and smile and find something to talk about easier than on the phone.

Old school dating advice has always been, don’t text, call. But personally I hardly EVER had a call with my fiancé. We either had in person dates (before living together) or texted. We don’t have serious conversations over text which is where I think that method of communication falls short because of its lack of tone and expression, it’s easy for miscommunication. But for general conversation and lighthearted conversations, I see nothing wrong with text. Phone calls drain me too. I’d rather have a bit of down time at the same time as being able to have a joke with my boyfriend. That’s just me though. Don’t feel bad about whichever method you prefer.

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