(Closed) “Thank God DH Was the ONLY ONE HERE”

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

HAHA, I’m sorry. Ticks are so foul. Fiance pulled one off our dog (already latched on, vommmmmittttt). Then the next week there was another one who wasn’t latched on, which I pulled off because he wasn’t here and I had to save her from getting bit again. I literally almost had a coronary and I saved it in a little container for him to see my efforts (I hate all bugs, they just make me squirm). hahaha i’m sick.

Post # 4
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

This story makes me laugh. Even those I’ve had ticks on me many times (and even worse, have actually pulled them out after they’re attached–YUCK!) I still get all grossed out by them.

I know I have done these things before but can’t think of any right now…

Post # 5
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

i worked at summer camp in Orange, CA and had my first encounter with a tick. I felt so violated by it. I was like sniffling and asked a coworker to remove it. Needless to say he just laughed at me and removed it no problem

Post # 6
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

too funny.  thanks for the laugh.

Post # 7
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Hahaha! Ticks are gross, it turns my stomach to have to pull them off after they’re latched on.

Post # 8
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I had a similar reaction recently, I was taking a bath. I was all settled in, I closed my eyes and was feeling zen. I opened my eyes after 10 or so minutes and the water coming out of the faucet was pure BLACK. I immediately went ballistic. So think naked, screaming, “OH MY GOD WHAT THE F*CK IS THAT???!?!?!?!?!”and streaking through the apartment.

He had to come running in and throw a towel on me then calmly call the landlord who explained that the fire department was checking hydrant systems (or something) and that all would be back to normal shortly. It was so embarrassing.

Post # 12
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@KatyElle:  I literally had to laugh out loud at that one, too funny! Too bad no one warned you too!

One time, I slamed my ear in a door. Yes, my ear, no other body parts. It was pretty awful.

Post # 13
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

All the time. I fall down a lot. I’ve hit my face on the top of the car when getting out because I misjudged the height, I’ve run face first into my neighbor’s hanging plants after getting the mail from our apartment building, I walk into things and smash my little toe. I’m always thinking “I’m glad nobody can see my rampant stupidity.”

Have not had an encounter with ticks yet but a huge 2 inch long roach crawled across my foot in the shower. I freaked out so bad and after the hot water killed it, i just left it there til Dh came home from work cause I was afraid of touching it.

The other day Darling Husband offered me some trick gum. I pulled it out and there was a plastic roach on it. I KNEW it was plastic. I KNEW the gum was fake cause the color wasn’t quite right. But for some reason not every part of my brain was working simultaneously so after the fake roach clamped down over the tip of my finger, I still shrieked and threw the gum on the floor, then started crying.

Post # 14
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Like a day ago I was on the couch stretching for the remote off of the ground. Because I’m so graceful and elegant I completely fell off the couch, knocked over a glass of water, knocked over a bowl of food, and landed on my face. Fiance was sitting beside me just dumbfounded that it had happened. Then he made fun of me for about an hour.

The next one is extra stupid, especially because I am an educated person who grew up in the country for 16 years. I had no idea that fireflies were real. Thought they were total bullshit that only existed in fantasy movies. It came into conversation and I actually argued with Fiance about them not being real, and had the audacity to call him a moron. THAT bit me in the ass. I knew my BSc was useful…lol.

About a month ago I went and sat in a car that was identical to ours and tried to start it. While Fiance was there. He just never bothered to stop me because he wanted to see me make an ass of myself in a restaurant parking lot. 

Oh, and about 2 weeks ago I walked into our patio door and gave myself a nosebleed in front of Fiance. He also knew it was closed, but apparently over estimated my awareness and never bothered to say anything. I liked it better when it was filthy and I could tell if it was open or closed.



Post # 15
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@KatyElle:  I’m picturing a hugely pregnant KatyElle streaking.Hahah!


OP, one time, many years ago, I was scratching my neck and felt a TICK IN MY HAIRLINE. I beat it to death with a clothes hanger. Screaming and all. I was either home alone or everyone else was outside. I hate those goddamn nasty little f-ers.


ETA: I’ve done too many stupid/embarrassing things alone or in front of Darling Husband to list. 

Post # 16
827 posts
Busy bee

@the_future_mrs:  On a similar note, I only realized narwhals were real a few years ago.  For some reason, I thought they were just mythical creatures.  I’m not sure how I went so long without knowing they were real…I was addicted to nature documentaries as a child, always did ridiculously well in school, majored biology in college…yet somehow I never encountered info on narwhals!  

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