Post # 1
This is one of my first posts, but I have been reading weddingbee religiously since I got engaged 3 months ago. I love how supportive everyone is here, and tonight I could use a shoulder to cry on, even if its just online.
I am very fortunate. My parents will be contributing about a quarter of our total budget, and his parents just a bit less than that. We have steady jobs, and work hard, and hope to pull this off without going into debt or going insane.
I just checked my bank account online for the first time in about 4 days, and all of a sudden I have overdrafted for the first time in my life, in a BIG way. The bank has tacked on $250 in fees, and nowadays $250 is an enormous amount of money. Thats an hour for the dj. A bridal bouquet. A cake. I lost it and started hyperventilating.
I know that in the long run this is not a big deal, but tonight it is hard to take. We still have a lot to plan and pay for.. how am I going to do this? My friends are 1000 miles away in my hometown, and honestly, most of them have distanced themselves emotionally since I moved. I have no close friends here to just sit and listen to me, so thank you bees for allowing me to at least type this out. It helps to vent.
Post # 3
First of all, you have found a wonderful place here! Glad to have you in the Hive!
Second, I am so sorry to hear about your financial situation. I have overdrafted a few times in my life and it feels like such a low blow when they take those fees. And $250?? Crazy.
You’ll be fine. Breathe. You have time. Focus on the man you’re marrying, and the peripheral stuff will fade in comparison.
Good luck, and again, welcome!
Post # 4
In college I was a religous over drafter. Thinking back I probably lost thousands in fees but my mom always bailed me out or I used loan money (silly mom, stupid girl)! If this is your first time, go in to your bank. Talk to them! Explain that you hadn’t checked in a few days and how much you CAN NOT lose this money. Maybe find a girl thats engaged or hoping to be? Maybe she’ll sympathize with your wedding money.
I have had my bank delete fees over and over and I know they have completely forgiven a friends fines cause it was her first time! Good luck and welcome to the hive!
Post # 5
Sorry, and welcome!
First of all, do you have overdraft protection on your account? Sometimes they *forget* (conveniently) and charge you. For US Bank, (my bank), my accounts are automatically protected. Not sure how it works, but basically i get a free ride if i brain fart.
Second, I messed up a credit card payment. i was late by a day. I called up the bank hot line customer service people and explained what happened, how sorry i was, it never would happen again, pointed out how i always paid in full each month but my computer was down (something, i don’t remember what, impaired me from paying) and they took it off with a warning. Yes, they waived it.
It doesn’t hurt to call and be nice and sweet on the phone and ask if you can utilize the overdraft protection service or see if it can be decreased to $50 (seriously $250 is really freakin’ high for an overdraft) or something else. It doesn’t hurt. They may still say no. But often, when you say, “is there anything i can do? anything at all? this really just made things so hard for me, i’m falling apart over it” a lot of times, being nice to the person on the phone means that person will be nice to you. Sometimes, not always. But sometimes people are so mena to them they really appreciate the nice people and cater to them. Banks, to me, seem to be notorious for this.
$250 is a chunk, but realistically….how can you make it work? Can you tighten your purse strings at all? How about turn your AC up from 73 to 76? That saves some money. Skip a few date nights? Good luck!
Post # 6
can you contact your bank and try to get a helpful person to see if they can reduce the charges at least. be the crying bride (not angry because you want them to want to help you) and see if you can negotiate, if you have a good banking history see if you can use that in your arguement
and sending hugs…. this stuff happens sometimes so try not to beat yourself up too much