(Closed) Thank you, but when should I thank you?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

I think a thank you as they come in is great (and keeps you on track).  If the same person gives you multiple gifts, send multiple acknowledgements.

Post # 4
Member
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Send a thank you for each gift you receive – these are engagement gifts so they should get a thank you now.

Post # 5
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

@scadadle15: You should always send thanks for a gift, as soon as you receive it. The traditional highest standard of good manners, is to write your thank-you notes before you go to bed, on the same day.

It doesn’t matter whether these are wedding presents, or engagement presents. A wedding is not like Christmas, or a child’s birthday party, where opening presents is part of the celebration. Traditionally wedding presents are sent to the bride at her own home, in advance of the wedding; or to the couples marital home after the wedding. Gifts that are brought directly to the wedding reception itself are relatively inconvenient, since (as was traditionally the norm) the bride and groom may be leaving on their honeymoon directly from the reception, and someone else is going to have to look after all those gifts in the meantime. Nearly every wedding has a “gift table”, but that is to accomodate the inevitable folk who don’t know that they should have sent the gift to the home, or who have procrastinated and are disorganized, and have brought the gift because they didn’t get around to sending it properly and know full well that they will probably misplace it if they wait and send it later (my niece, mother of the inestimable Sophia, would fall into that latter category: she’d misplace her head if it wasn’t attached.)

When you get wedding presents in advance of the day, open them at once and write a thank-you note immediately. For wedding presents that are brought to the reception, you may consider yourself to have “received” them on the day that you actually open the box after returning from the honeymoon. A good technique is to write the thank-you note for each gift BEFORE going on to open the next one.

Post # 6
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Before the wedding- thank you cards go out two weeks after you receive it.

After wedding- thank yous two months after you receive it.

 

But…I don’t think a bottle of wine deserves a thank you. I bring bottles of wine everywhere and give them as gifts at dinner parties and house parties. I’d probably bring wine to an engagement party. I wouldn’t expect a thank you card back and I’ve never received one.

Post # 7
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

@PinkMagnolia: I agree. Bottles of wine (with the exception of heirloom cellar bottles — http://most-expensive.net/wine-bottle(!)   ) are typical “hostess gifts” that are in themselves a “thank-you” to the hostess for her hospitality. You don’t generally send thank-you notes for hostess gifts. At an engagement party, such gifts would be the norm, as an engagement party is not properly a gift-giving event.

But in this case the party was hosted by someone else, so the bottle wasn’t actually a hostess-gift. In that case a thank-you note would not be over-the-top.

Post # 8
Member
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@aspasia475: Umm I know. I just said that. Why are you addressing this to me?

Post # 9
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

@scadadle15: prob because she thought she was replying to the OP, not you

Post # 10
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

@scadadle15: Oh my. I do apologize: heather25 is quite right that I thought I was replying to the original post. My browser (or possibly the website) kept reloading the page each time I clicked on reply; and in frustration I must have clicked the reply link in the wrong place in one of those reloads and didn’t check that I was “@” the right person.

But I checked this time! My apology goes to the right person!

Post # 11
Member
5763 posts
Bee Keeper

You should send the thank yous out now for whatever gifts you’ve received.

The topic ‘Thank you, but when should I thank you?’ is closed to new replies.

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