(Closed) Thank You Card for Shower Guest who did not bring gift?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
6331 posts
Bee Keeper

I would just send thank yous for people that actually gave you a gift. So I would not get the stepmother a thank you card, especially the way she acted at the shower. I would wait until receiving the honeyfund gift before sending the thank you. Otherwise, you are thanking her for an anticipated gift, which might not result. At some point, you probably expressed gratitude to the guests for their attendance. That should be good enough. 

Post # 3
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

View original reply
mattiematilda:  I would send your step mother a “thank you for celebrating with me” card. I’m sure a lot of replies you may get will say that gift giving is not a requirement, and it isn’t, but its usually common practice anyway. And it may be a little bit of ‘killing her with kindness’ if she has some sort of issue with you or had a bug up her butt about something. It’s probably best to come off as if it didn’t bother you.

As for the friend who offered to gift you something from your honeymoon registry, I’d give her some time to do it before sending the card. If, say, a month or so goes by and she hasn’t done anything, just send her a ‘thanks for celebrating with me’ card like your step mother. You don’t want her to think you’re not sending a card because she hasn’t bought you something. And it may remind her to go do it and if she doesn’t do it until later, you can always send her a thank you after you come back from the honeymoon with a picture of your DH and you enjoying whatever experience she helped pay for!


Post # 4
5622 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

My shower was september 18th – sent out my thank yous 3 days after the shower. There were two people who came but did not bring gifts so I did not send them a thank you card.

I did thank everyone for coming to celebrate before the night was over, though.

And while others may say that gifts are not required.. and I would normally agree – I think a shower is different.. it’s IS a gift giving party, thrown in the brides honor. I understand if someone couldn’t afford a gift, but they could have at least given a card.

Post # 5
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

View original reply
mattiematilda:  I would send everyone who attended a card.  If they didn’t give a gift (or are going to give one later) simply thank them for coming, and share that you can’t wait to celebrate with them at the wedding.  

I’d simply thank everyone.  You can’t go wrong with sending a thank you.  

Post # 6
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Just write that you were happy to see her and it’s always nice to celebrate with family.

It’s all about taking the high road…with class. 🙂

Post # 7
2567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

I would send a general “thank you for coming” note.  It’s the polite thing to do.  If she sends you a gift later, you can then write another note thanking her for the gift after the wedding.

Post # 9
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

View original reply
mattiematilda:  just send a thsnk you note. “Thank you for attending, it was lovely to see you…” Something to that effect.”

Post # 10
14 posts
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Hotel Bethlehem

View original reply
mattiematilda:  This actually happened to me too! Five of my guests came empty handed, 2 of which told me they were going to contribute to our honeyfund. My shower was almost two months ago and 1 out of 2 finally contributed yesterday. I wrote out my thank you cards to those who came without a gift, thanking them for being there at such a special time. Those who told me that they were going to contribute to our fund, I did add a thank you for the generous donation. I also had my fiance (these were his family members) talk to them that we were worried their might ahve been a mix up with their donation to the honeyfund. My bridesmaids spent a lot of money on my shower, and they were more dissappointed in the lack of gifts than I was. Some of the empty handed guests, I was sincerely just happy that they were able to come 🙂 I hope this helps a little!

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