(Closed) Thank You card help: Monetary Gifts (POLL)

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What is appropriate for a monetary gift thank you?
    your gift will be helpful in starting our new life together : (90 votes)
    48 %
    we've been saving up for bicycles to ride together this summer, ... : (15 votes)
    8 %
    we've been saving up for a lawn mower since we just moved into a new home : (16 votes)
    9 %
    we recently moved into a new rental home, your gift was helpful in making the house a home : (35 votes)
    19 %
    We've been saving to go on our honeymoon, and plan to add your gift to our savings account : (13 votes)
    7 %
    We've been saving to put a down payment on a home in the future, ... : (18 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    91 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Yes I need suggestions also!! I just had my bridal shower last week and got alot of cash and checks and I am not really sure how to write out my thanks yous!! I plan on Saving the money for now.

    Post # 4
    1199 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I liked A the best, and B, but with a different gift I guess.  I wanted my guests to know that their wedding gifts went towards something significant.

    For my bridal shower, and monetary gift thank yous were referencing our honeymoon: “We are really looking forward to relaxing on the beach and touring the island..”

    For wedding monetary gifts, I wrote “Now that we are back from our honeymoon, we are ready to start on some project around the house, like remodeling our kitchen and having the house repainted, so your gift is greatly appreciated.  Thank you again!”  Maybe you can say something about projects around the house, or saving for a down-payment on a house, or maybe clearing our your registry?

    Post # 5
    1061 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Between A and C.  We didn’t specify that we live in a rental though.

    Post # 6
    16196 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I told everyone that we used money to either start our lives together or buy furniture for our new little home together, as we didn’t live together before the wedding.

    Post # 7
    11271 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    i think you are supposed to thank them for the generous gift and also mention something that you will be putting the money towards.

    “thank you for your generous gift.  we are looking forward to buying a new set of bicycles to ride together this summer”

    Post # 8
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I told everyone that we used the movie for our house fund.  And we bought a house shortly after the wedding so there was “proof.” I figured people would like to know that their gift went towards something significant.

    Of your options I like the making a house a home option and the honeymoon option as they are both specific but significant.  I would skip the bike or mower mentions.

    Post # 9
    4371 posts
    Honey bee

    Personally, I like to know it went to something specific, like new bikes, or a lawnmower.

    Post # 10
    673 posts
    Busy bee

    I don’t think the last several weddings I’ve attended where we gave cash mentioned a specific item purchased. We were just appreciative of their thank you note, and most gave a mini update post-honeymoon which was more interesting anyway. As gift givers, we take the view that you can spend it any way you want, and we’re not terribly interested in how you do spend it. However, if we care enough to give a generous monetary gift, then we are far more interested in interesting things you’ve done or saw. In other words, we’re interested in people’s lives, not the products they buy.

    I realize we may be in the minority and not in line with etiquette. That’s why I voted for the less specific options. But, if you mention the home, the mention that it’s a rental home is a little odd. I don’t think most people will care so much about that detail as much as you two settled down in a new house in general.

    Post # 11
    7901 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    You should thank them for the generous check/cash gift (indicate which, but not the exact amount) and tell them specifically, not generally, how you spent it, if you can. So if you put money towards items for your home (don’t mention the rental part… totally not relevent), tell them what specifically you bought. Was it towels? a blender? new sheets? a lawnmower? If you will use it on your honeymoon, what specifically will you do. You should look at your lsit and say the money form these 10 people will go to the hotel and from these 3 towards our one major expensive dinner and from these 5 towards airfare and from these 2 for a sailing excursion, etc.

    Post # 12
    10287 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I pretty much used “A” on our thank you’s. I didn’t see the point in going into detail. From what I recall, not a single thank you that I’ve ever received went into specifics as far as exactly what the money was used for. I’ve never been offended by that so I doubt any of your guests would be. 

    Post # 13
    10287 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @mrsSonthebeach:  While that’s nice and all, I really don’t think it’s necessary. 

    Post # 14
    5295 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1993

    @mrsSonthebeach:  what if it just went to savings and you have no idea what it got spent on? I mean, the first things I bought after the wedding were snorkels, sunscreen, a Target run, condoms, and cross-stitches for babies. Pretty sure no one wanted those thank-yous 😉 I literally have no idea what the majority of the money was spent on!


    So OP, I vote more generic! Thank you very much for x gift – if you do have something specific like furniture, honeymoon, or setting up your household, mention that, but I wouldn’t worry about doling out exactly where everyone’s funds went!

    Post # 15
    366 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I vote generic thank yous! If you tell them exactly what you spent it on then you give them the chance to be offended that their monetary gift didn’t go to something that they deemed important or as worthwhile.

    Post # 16
    7901 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    @hisgoosiegirl:  According to etiquette (which of course not everyone will follow, but if you want to be as polite as possible, you should), you should say how you plan to spend the money and to be specific if you can. If it’s going into a mortgage fund, fine, say that. If it went to the honeymoon, think about how much you spent on different things and try to divy that out across the cash gifts as best you can. You can guestimate. Also, I would be pretty upset if I gave someone a generous cash gift and they spent it on general life stuff at Target. I’d rather that my money allowed them to save their own money for those things so that they could use my gift for something more meaningful, like the honeymoon or a mortgage. No one wants to know that their wedding gift paid for your electricity bill, and really, it shouldn’t be spent on that anyway.

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