Post # 1
I’ve been lagging BIG TIME on wedding thank you cards. Because of this I have come across two issues (which is a warning to all you newlyweds…do your thank yous ASAP! lol)
1. Some people have since changed addresses so I now have to update my labels for them.
2. Some people who have attended our wedding have since broken up, separated or got divorced.
So I’m having a problem with issue 2. How do I deal with addressing these people on the cards and writing thank yous to them? In one scenario we know the guy and met his gf at our wedding. They both gave us a gift but have now since broken up. In another scenario, one couple has possibly separated but it has not been made public (only inferred by social media).
Any insight would be greatly appreciated!
Post # 3
Etiquette says you have up to a year to send thank yous.
Thank you cards should be hand-addressed. Get the new addresses and just write them on the envelopes. No one will be comparing them. Send them out to the couples as though they are still together. That way, they don’t get lost in the mail.
Post # 4
i would do indiviual thank yous for the people who have publically broken up and a single thank you for the one that is not for sure announced.
Post # 5
If they’ve broken up for sure and they don’t live together, send two thank you notes. For the couple that you aren’t sure about, send one thank you note if they live together and two thank you notes if they live separately.
I was in this situation once – went to a wedding with my boyfriend, we broke up, I’m assuming they sent HIM the thank you note… I never found out, and to be honest, I judged them a little because I wasn’t sure they bothered to send thank you notes.
If they came to your wedding and brought you a gift, I say you should spend the extra few minutes to send a separate card so they both feel thanked, especially in the midst of the heartbreak they must be dealing with.
(Sorry, obviously I have strong feelings about this, so take it with a grain of salt <smile>)
Post # 6
I get annoyed by the statement that people have a year to send thank you notes after a wedding. That wouldn’t be acceptable in any other circumstance, so why would we think it is ok to slack off after a wedding? Etiquette does NOT ok this!
-OP I’m not trying to be rude to you, you made it clear that you realize the thank you notes got away from you. (and that can happen to the best intentioned bride) I just get irked when I see that statement and I can’t seem to keep quiet about it…
In the cases where your guests have made it public that they are no longer together, you should send two notes, the guidance given by @sarahcool:
is good for the couple that you aren’t sure about.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone for your advice, esp @sarahcool. Thanks for giving your side of the story. Unfortunately I didn’t know the girl really well from the couple that broke up but maybe I can snoop around and see if she’s on FB or something to get her address.
And yes @UmbrellaMoon I gave myself 6months to send out my thank yous (b/c i didn’t like the unwritten “1 year rule” either) but unfortunately I’m coming up to my 9 month anniv and i’ve sent 10/100. eek!