(Closed) Thank you card question – please help!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Because they added the daughter’s name, you should send a thank you note to her.

I had something siimilar happen at my shower – the gifter included the name of her daughter (who I’m still 100% sure had nothing to do with the gift) – but I sent her a thank you note as if she did have something to do with it.

To me, erring on the side of caution is the best policy.

Post # 5
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

I had a few group gifts, and in this respect, I sent 1 card to the main “giver” and recognized the other contributors in the card. 


So, for me, I mailed 1 card to Aunt’s house but the note read 

Aunt, Cousin#1, C#2, C#3, 

Thank you all so much for your very generous gift… 


And I addressed the envelope to “The [LastName] Clan” so they knew it was meant for everyone.

Post # 6
13248 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would send it to whoever signed the card.  Send a thank you to the other children for coming. 

Post # 8
1736 posts
Bumble bee

Is there a big age discrepancy? Do the children all live at home or just the one whose name was signed? If the cousin in question is a minor and still lives at home, I expect that is why they are covering for her. If the rest live outside their home…then I would think that they would just get thank you’s for attending the wedding.

I think that since your Aunt and Uncle were thoughtful enough to include their daughter’s name…if it was meant to be from all the others as well…they would have included those names as well!

Post # 9
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

I would address the note as to the [LastName] Family, and still send a “thanks for coming” card to the other siblings too. 

That way, all your bases are covered, and you don’t have to list each cousin by name just in case. 

Post # 10
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t think the $500 would cover a 6 person family IMO. By the sounds of it the other kids were on their own. Are the other kids adults? If the rest that weren’t included were adults then I would definitely just go with how thet cheque was signed.

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