(Closed) Thank You card situation

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2004

Maybe scrap the idea of both cards, and write a slightly more substantial letter, expressing both your gratitude for their attendance (gift?) and how sorry you are for her loss?

Post # 4
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I wouldn’t mention anything about her husband in the thank you card.

Post # 5
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yea I would leave the husband out of the Thank You card.  Just address to her and be very generic in what you say, maybe something like:  “Thank you so much for coming to the wedding and supporting husband and I.  We really appreciate your generous gift.” 

Post # 7
Member
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Address the thank you card to her but please do consider mentioning him in the card. The gift was from the two of them.

People who have experienced the loss of a loved one, often say that people treat them as if the person just vaporized. It is very comforting to survivors to have their loved ones acknowledged.

Send a separate note of condolence as you would if the death had not happened so close to the wedding.

Post # 9
Hostess
16196 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I honestly would absolutely acknowledge him. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. But how awful would it be if everyone in this woman’s life suddenly stopped recognizing his life?

Of course, you’ll want to be tactful and gentle. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Treat them as entirely different things, which they are. Yes the husband attended the wedding so he should be acknowledged there. His passing is a separate matter and she should be given a separate sympathy card with condolences. People don’t suddenly stop thinking about a loved one as soon as they pass, nor should others around them do the same. Yes he’s gone, but that doesn’t mean that he should never be acknowledged again for any reason, as the only thing that does is imply that his life had no worth when he was around, which is cruel behavior, even if that is not the intention.

Post # 11
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think the mentioning thing depends on the person.  I know when my mom passed, any mention of her upset me so much so I didn’t want anyone to mention her for a while after her death.  Receiving a thank you card for something that she and I had given to someone as a gift would have been hard enough for me.

Post # 12
Hostess
16196 posts
Honey Beekeeper

@MrsSaltWaterTaffy: That makes perfect sense. It’s going to vary, for sure. Thanks for sharing your insight!

The topic ‘Thank You card situation’ is closed to new replies.

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