Post # 1
So the FI hands me a check and lets me know that this is from his parents (their contribution to the wedding. Were all splitting it equally…us, his parents and our parents). I’m so happy and so appreciative, who wouldnt be right? But he asked me to write them a thank you card, which I’m more than happy to but I’m kind of stuck. I dont really know what to say to his parents, and think that maybe he should write it? It his parents and he is the one thats had the relationship with them not me. I’ll write it but I just dont think it would sound very genuine or heartfelt if it came from me. Since I havent experienced our wedding day yet. What could I say anyway, thank you for the love and support throughout the years (I’ve only known them for two). The wedding hasnt happend yet so I cant say thanks for making our day special and being a part of it and welcoming me into your family because not that has taken place. Lol! I’m kind of preparing what I’m going to say in my thank you card to my OWN parents, which I plan on giving to them along with a little gift the night of the rehearsal dinner. Also, its to us both so do I address it as Mr & Mrs, or Mom & Dad??? Because if he wrote it I dont think he would be so formal with Mr & Mrs and if I wrote it I dont want to be so informal, Mom & Dad. Dont get me wrong I’m truly, truly grateful and appreciative for my inlaws and their genourosity, but I’m just at a loss of words as to what to say in the thank you card that i need to send by this weekend. Thoughts on how to get started on this thank you card???
*Side note: I wrote his mom a very nice thank you card after my bridal shower and it was easy because it had taken place and I was able to express my gratitude for her presence and of course having an awesome son!!
Post # 2
I’m curious if others will say that a thank you card for parents is typical. I would think that it would be more natural to say thank you and express your appreciation in an actual in person conversation. It seems to me that notes are more appropriate for people that you are farther removed from / speak to less often.
Post # 3
Cheekygeek123: I assume your fiance is writing his own, because if it was from both of you it should be written by him.
Anyway, I’d say something along the lines of, “Thank you for your generous gift. It means so much to me that you are supporting us like that, and I’m so happy to be joining your family”… and not a lot more than than that.
Call them whatever you call them now. That’s what I’d expect from my daughter’s bf, and I’d be slightly weirded out if he called me “Mum” (Australian for “Mom”) before they married.
Post # 4
Hmmm, do you think maybe I should write my own? But I dont want to exclude him either since its for the both of us. I’m sure when they gave him the check he said thanks, i love you etc…?? Ugh, I dont know….
Post # 5
Dear Mr. & Mrs. FPIL,
Your son, FI, and I deeply appreciate your support as we plan our wedding. You have raised your son to be the man with whom I will be spending the rest of my life. He is truly my other half, and that is due to much of the upbringing you gave him. Thank you again for the spiritual, physical, and financial support you have given us as we prepare in forging our life together.
We hope that the wedding itself will only be a precurssor to the years of happiness and love we anticipate in the future.
Post # 6
I agree with you that he should write the card.
Still, if that’s not going to happen, I don’t think it’s that hard a card to write.
1) Just call them what you yourself normally call them (I know it’s weird, though, because you’ll sign it from both of you — you could always do “Mr. and Mrs XYZ/Mom & Dad”).
2) As for what to say, don’t overthink it. Just say what you are feeling — probably that you are so grateful for their generosity and their kindness to you, and that you are looking forward to the wedding so much.
But yeah… he shouldn’t be dumping this on you!
Post # 7
Cheekygeek123: Honestly, I don’t understand the logic of you writing the card from both of you. The only reason I can think of is a really sexist one, like weddings are for women so the gift is really to you.
Post # 8
Seems simple to me, something along the lines of “thank you so much for your generous support, we’re excited for the big day and our future together.” I would just use their first names.
Post # 9
Let’s not make a big deal about this. It’s a simple thank-you note for their generous contribution to the wedding. You write a couple of lines. He writes a couple of lines. Done.
Post # 10
jamb: I wrote my mum a thank you card after my shower. I see her all the time. I, obviously, thanked her in person on the day of. I even mailed it. I notice she has it tucked in a holder with her important papers (and I took the entire inside and back of the card to write it all.) I don’t think it’s weird.
Cheekygeek123: You could write separate cards, or separate notes on the card from each of you. We went the separate note way for a gift from his parents. He called them mum and dad, I used their first names. I just expressed my gratitude for their generous gift and for making me feel like part of the family right from the start. And I closed with how excited I was to see them and celebrate at the wedding.