(Closed) Thank you card with pre printed message

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 63
8471 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m sorry, but I don’t see anything rude about that.

Post # 65
33 posts
  • Wedding: September 2014

So tacky. 


People spent so much to come and attend your wedding (travel, new clothes, GIFTS) and you can’t write two heartfelt sentences thanking them?? I think a printed quote is ok if you actually do write something personal underneath. 

Post # 66
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@legenwaitforitdary:  I actually got three pre printed cards for attending the wedding of my childhood friend. They were exactly the same, except they switched out the words “mendhi” “wedding” and “reception”.


“Thank you for sharing our _______ with us” or something generic like that.

Honestly I found it off putting, and a tad bit Thoughtless. They didn’t even sign the card. Also, I received said thank you cards almost a year after :/ also the fact that I got three seperate cards , not one consice card thanking us for attending all of the events made me feel like, why did I waste the time and money and vacation to attend this thing I was just aa number at?

My thank you cards were way late (health situation), so I’m no example of proper ettiquette, but they were all handwritten, and I think for that reason people were understanding about our tardiness. My mom said “Just print thm out and send them out”, but my wedding was very intimate and personal it didn’t feel write NOT to handwrite the thank you’s!

I just personally feel that pre-printed thank you’s are impersonal… But if someone wants to have a 500 person wedding maybe you don’t want to write out 500 thank you’s. But it personally would make me feel like just a gift and a number at their wedding, rather than someone they cared to share their day with.


Post # 67
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@hermom: Just so you know I wrote 2 lines for each person that DID give a gift (included in my first post) in addition to the preprinted message. Only those that DID NOT give a gift did not get a handwritten message. So, as per you that should be fine since you are only writting to thank them for the gift. Might want to read a little more cafefully before being so BLUNT. 

Post # 68
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Even hand written thank you notes can be rude/impersonal. When I received the thank you note from my very best friend of 15 years it said, ” Thank you for the Keurig, we love it and can’t wait to use it”. Ummmm hello! Super impersonal! No emotion at all went into that note. But then again, her wedding was very cold and impersonal. So sometimes you can’t win either way!

Post # 69
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Glen Sanders Mansion

@legenwaitforitdary:  I’ve received a couple of those and it always pisses me off.  It’s rude not to include at least a few personal lines, especially since we traveled 2-3 hours for those weddings and gave generous gifts.

Post # 71
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think that’s rude! We just got our thank you cards shipped to us today and they have “thank you for being part of our special day” on the front, along with our picture, and I would never think of just signing it and sending it! I’m definitely writing a personal message on the back to each guest/couple – they took the time to get us a gift or generously gave us some of their hard-earned money, the least we could do is write them a thank you card! 

Post # 72
2490 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

There’s few etiquette rules I care about but this one would bother me 

Post # 73
930 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’d rather get something personal & thoughtfull that I can hardly read than a generic card stuck into an envelope.  

Post # 73
4 posts

Personally, I think the comments of people saying it’s rude of lazy are kind of out of touch with reality at this point. Imagine if you had 400+ guests at your wedding, half of whom your parents were friends with and you didn’t have a real relationship with. I also think it’s actually really tacky to call out the gift. It’s more important to thank them for their presence than their present. You thank them for their support, for their blessing and for helping you celebrate. Present or no present, I still would thank my guests for coming. The people I surround myself aren’t the hoighty toighty stuck up etiquette police that judge me for little things like that. It’s a thank you card, and you’re going to throw it out. People on this thread are really making me feel bad for all of y’all. 

Dr Suess said it best: “Those who mind, don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”


Post # 74
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

icant :  Wait, wait, wait. You dug up a 3-year-old thread to justify your own laziness? 

I highly doubt all 400 gave you gifts.  Thank you cards are only for gifts. If you are REALLY so blessed that you got 400 gifts,  you bet your ass every one of those people deserves a handwritten card.

15 a day will have you done in under a month. 

ETA: you thank them for their presence AT the wedding 

Post # 75
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Yeah… that’s kind of offensive. At least to me it would be. I think that would annoy me more than no card at all. At least with no card I can imagine it got lost in the mail instead of knowing the bride and groom are lazy and rude. 

ETA: holy schnikies, zombie thread. I second PP. And please, no more digging up old conversations

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