(Closed) Thank you cards

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
46612 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hopefully we do a better job teaching etiquette to our children than our parents did with our generation.

Post # 4
Member
1143 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My husband and I went to a wedding in September, 2012. We gave a card and cash as opposed to a gift (personal preference, I like to think that cash can be used to pick out something they really want) at the reception. Here it is June of 2013, almost nine months after the fact, and we never got a thank you card, or even a verbal thanks (it was a co-worker).

Maybe it is different for cash gifts, but I sent out thank-yous for even just cards and people who signed the guest book. Just seems odd that this gift was never acknowledged!

Post # 5
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have to say I honestly never heard of sending “thank you” cards until I moved to the South. So, i think part of it is people having different cultures/things they’re used to. I do plan to send “thank you” cards, not because of the “rules”. But, because I think it’s a sweet gesture.

Post # 6
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Twyla_Smith:  Oh my gosh, do we work for the same office? We, too, went to a wedding for a co-worker this past September, gave cash in an envelope at the reception, and have yet to have the gift acknowledged in any way whatsoever. 

Post # 7
Member
1143 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@sweetbutdemanding:  I never thought of it being a cultural thing, as it just seems like something one is supposed to do! Of course, my parents used to make me send out thank you’s for my birthday and Christmas, so I guess it is just something I am used to!

 

@FutureMrsLAL:  Haha, maybe! If not to get a thank you card, it would have at least been nice to get a “thanks” at some point!

Post # 8
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Not thanking people properly is one of my pet peeves!!! I have always collected stationery and I use it frequently. I realize not everyone is a huge paper nerd like me but everytime I go to the grocery or drug store I see stationary. And hello! There’s online shopping. To me, there is no reason not to be able to buy some cards and send a short note, written while watching crappy TV.

I was a guest at bridal shower for a cousin. I did not get a thank you note for that gift. Then, we found out I wasn’t invited to the wedding…only my parents. They never got their thank you note for that gift, either.

I don’t get it!

Post # 9
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Twyla_Smith:  I know!! It’s like, you see me five days a week!!! It hasn’t crossed your mind ONCE to say thank you to me?!

Post # 10
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m bumping this thread because I’m unsure when to send thank you’s. Our wedding isn’t until August but we’ve already received 2 gifts in the mail. I’ve heard you aren’t supposed to open/use these until afyer the wedding, but the first one I accidentally opened as I wasn’t expecting a package (and it didn’t occur to me at this point it may be a wedding gift) and the second becusse, well, I don’t have space to store a bunch on unopened packages. Anyway, I’m not planning on using the gifts until after the wedding, but it was my understanding I wasn’t even supposed to have opened them yet (and therefore would not know who they are from). 

Should I wait or send a thank you? They are not shower gifts as they were sent prior to a shower date being set (and these ppl aren’t invited to the shower anyway)

Post # 11
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Snapdragon2804:  I think you should absolutely send a thank you note now for those two gifts which you have received already — do not wait until after the wedding.

The thank you note serves two purposes: (1) to thank them and show your gratitude (duh) and (2) acknowledges your receipt of the gift.  Those are the two thoughts that cross my mind when I don’t get a note… “Did they not appreciate it?” and “Did they even get it? Maybe it got lost?” 

Even if you aren’t using it yet, you can talk about how you can’t wait to use it in the note.

Post # 12
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Snapdragon2804:  You are correct in that you do not use a wedding gift until after the wedding, but you can open it! From what I’ve read in Emily Post, you should open the gift, send out a thank you card right away (at least within 2 weeks) and then set the gift aside to use after the wedding. The reason btw that you don’t use the gift until after the wedding is because the gift needs to be returned to the sender if the wedding doesn’t happen. If it’s returned in it’s unused condition, the sender can return it.

Post # 14
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This is one of my pet peeves as well.  Is it that they do not know common etiquette, or do not care? 

I want to be able to un-gift it sometimes!  I know that sounds petty.  But do your part as the gracious receiver…

Post # 15
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

People not sending thank you notes REALLY rubs me the wrong way. Fiance and I were at a wedding last year (where he was the best man). We combined our money and got them the most expensive thing on their registry because we wanted them to have something nice. Never got a thank you note (or even a hello from the bride at the wedding). Very irritating. 

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