Post # 16
Despite the fact that it may give some Bees the vapors, using a card with “Thank You” printed in an understated fashion, is not the worst thing in the world. The pp’s advice is perfect. The only problem is that the vast majority of young women today don’t have personal or household stationery.
Go to a stationery store or look online and pick out something you like or even use blank foldover notes.
Having “Thank You” printed on the front, does not prevent you from writing a thoughtful note inside. I think your guests will care far more about actually receiving a prompt thank you note, than they will about the paper you use.
Post # 17
The personalization on stationery does not indicate whom the present was to, it indicates who is sending the note. Only one person can write a note, so it is fine for the card to have only one person’s name on it. You include your fiancé in the note by writing “John and I are so grateful for the soup tureen….”
If John writes the note he uses his social note-paper, which is an unfolded paper sheet about 6 by 8 inches, engraved with his monogram or name, and optionally his address, in relatively small font at the top. If he is a very refined-but-modern gentleman he may have flat correspondence cards that are a gentleman’s equivalent of an informal — about 4 by inches and unfolded, engraved similarly to his notepaper but in slightly larger font a little lower down, and he can use these for thankyou notes. He includes you by writing “Aimee and I are so looking forward to making borscht and serving it from a tureen.”
Even after you are married, you retain separate formal notepaper. His doesn’t change unless he changes his name, and even if you are the most traditional wife in the western world you use only “Mrs John Hisname”, not Mr and Mrs; although during the first year of marriage “Mr and Mrs” cards are popular and permissible since you have so many joint engagements and joint correspondence.
Post # 19
Thanks for all of the advice! I just ordered thank you cards that have my maiden name and initials for gifts before the wedding, and cards that say Mr. and Mrs. for gifts after the wedding.