(Closed) Thank you cards are not optional!

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

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@hisgoosiegirl: DITTO!!! We are waiting for wedding photos to come back to do our thank you cards. I got married last weekend and have to wait 6-8weeks for photos. Which is cutting it close to christmas too for us. So I am sure all our guest will get a Thank You note and and Christmas card at the same time, LOL.

I personally have a gotten a Thank You from 2weeks later to 6months later. I never thought the bride and groom never apprerciated our gifts. I understand that LIFE gets in the way.

Post # 18
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@irishbride2be: My BFF got married last September and sent out her thank-yous as their Christmas card. I thought it was so cute. And I was totally, whoa it took three whole months to get these out? I rescinded that thought real quick after my wedding. Life got so crazy that I actually felt pretty proud that I got them out just under the 3-month mark.

Congrats on your marriage, btw!

Post # 19
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

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@hisgoosiegirl: ohh that is a good idea we could just double up on them both and I dont think anyone would this twice about it.

THanks so much. Loving the married life.

Post # 20
Member
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

7.5 weeks is not bad at all – I hope for your sake that your guests do not judge your wedding, thank you cards, etc., as harshly as you do others. She’s probably unpacking gifts, trying to restore order in her house after last minute wedding craziness, tons of relatives wanting to visit and talk about the wedding and honeymoon, catch up on the work she missed for the wedding and honeymoon, etc. I think you could stand to lower your expectations a bit and cut other people some slack.

Post # 21
Member
15129 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Pinksapphire: 7.5 weeks isnt bad at all!  they may be waiting for pro pics?  many people use those for their thank you notes now.

Post # 22
Member
3322 posts
Sugar bee

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@zippylef:   I didn’t say I was policing anyone.  You posted a common misconception which I refuted. 

I do not know of any etiquette source that says it is ok to thank your guests a year later. 

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@hisgoosiegirl: Etiquette doesn’t care about photocards.  Only that you thank your guests in a timely manner.  If guests are that keen on pictures there is the option of a second mailing. 

Post # 23
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I just got a thank you card for a wedding I attended SIX MONTHS AGO. I’ve hung out with the girl since the wedding, and after a while I felt like, “Um, shouldn’t you be at home working on those thank you cards?”

Post # 24
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Etiquette didn’t care about my wedding photos but I did…took me 2.5 months to get my pics back and Thank You notes made, written, and mailed…don’t give up hope yet OP!
edit: It took me less than a week to mail bridal shower thank you notes though, so I’m sorry you didn’t get one of those yet. 🙁

 

Post # 25
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@andielovesj: Well then I guess I’m an etiquette rogue who will be shunned by the masses. Have you bought stamps lately? No way would I have waited to pay and send pics later to people who would have just liked to see a few and not pay to get actual prints.

If any of my guests were deeply offended that my thank you came past the etiquette deadline circled in red on their calendar, they can deal. Life must be difficult for those who keep track of such petty things.

And I received multiple compliments on the thank yous – from both sides of the family, young and old. So I think the few extra weeks were well worth it.

Post # 26
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It was my goal to get them all out under 8 weeks – but we didn’t wait for photos. If it was a big wedding, the new-wife is no doubt trying to do a fair amount of cards. DH and I had a smallish wedding, and we still had 80 to do.

Sometimes I feel like thank you cards are a “damned if you do” kinda situation. We had them out in 8 weeks, and had 1 person ask why it took so long. We hand wrote a good sized note (think three short paragraphs) on each one, and someone asked why I had signed my new husband’s name for him b/c “that was rude” of me to do.

Really, though, I keep going back to the number of TY’s to do. We had 80ish, and would try to do 3 each every night after dinner. It felt like it would never end!

Post # 27
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

I am shocked that people think it is okay to send thank you’s a year after the wedding! Yes, life and things get in the way; however, if my guest thinks enough of me and takes the time to pick me out a gift (whether in the store or online), then I am going to make the time and think enough of them to write them a thank you note (no matter how many I have to write).. in a TIMELY manner.  Plus, if it takes that long to write a thank you, guests may wonder if you ever received the gift.  I want people to know I received the gift and it is appreciated.

Post # 28
Bee
6468 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

I’ve been to three weddings this year (one before mine, two after) and we haven’t received thank you cards from ANY of them. I sent ours out the month after the wedding, while I was still in planning mode. It’s kind of… rude.

Post # 29
Member
3448 posts
Sugar bee

My cousin had a baby shower in March. I still have not rec’d a thank you card, my mom just rec’d her Friday!! My sister had a baby shower Oct 29. Her thank you card was rec’d last Monday! Just over a week after her baby shower! That is insane. I don’t care if it’s just a baby shower…it’s just common sense!

Post # 30
Member
4885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I spent a shload on one of my dear friends’ wedding gifts in June and haven’t heard boo from her.  They definitely cashed my check but since then it’s been crickets chirping.  It makes me sad, especially since I’m a small business owner and every penny is so valuable to me.  Five of the other weddings we went to this year have sent their thank yous already.  Sigh.

Post # 31
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I went to three weddings this past summer and I havent recieved a thankyou card from any of them and I dont really care. I got mine out (mostly) within 3-4 months after the wedding, because we were busy moving into our new apartment in a new city and finding jobs after being laid off from our old ones. There is still a small stack of cards waiting to be addressed to my husbands family, that was his only responsibility, a whole 6 cards to family whos addresses we dont have, and at nearly 5 months out I am still waiting for him to get these addresses and send out the cards, so they must think we are terribly rude. But I am not going to get in a tizzy about my friends and cousins who havent sent theirs out yet, its a huge chore when you have 150 + cards to write and I will just throw it away anyway.

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