(Closed) Thank you cards are not optional!

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

I’m sorry, this is just annoying to me!! Yes, it is a chore to write a bunch of thank you’s! I hate writing!  Yes, people will throw the thank you away!! IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT YOU TOOK THE TIME TO WRITE THEM A THANK YOU THAT COUNTS!! They spent time getting you a gift… can us brides not be a tad bit considerate and spend some time writing thank you’s??! To me, the “chore” thing and the “they will just throw it away anyways” is an excuse to be rude. Sorry.

Post # 33
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@bobanna: I don’t think anyone here is saying not to write them. Most of us are just saying that it might take a bit longer than 7 weeks to get them out.

I see your wedding is coming up soon – with the holidays so soon afterward, you too might see that sometimes things come up that cause it to take a bit longer to get things done. And maybe not – but try to understand that for some brides, things do come up. Like the poor bride tonight whose dog dumped pop all over her completed thank yous and she has to start all over.

Post # 34
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

@hisgoosiegirl:  Lol.  I did not see that post about the bride whose dog dumped pop on the ty’s! I’m sure she is not laughing and I do feel for her.

By the way- I think it was sweet that you waited to send a pic with the ty’s.  I would have liked it 🙂

Post # 35
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@hisgoosiegirl: Exactly

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@bobanna:

Im not saying Brides shouldnt write them, but I am not going to get upset about such a small thing unless we get to a year out and I still havent gotten a thank you note. Its a stupid thing to get mad at a friend over when I know well how life can get in the way, I dont have a problem cutting them some slack.

Post # 36
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

For us we have been married almost two months and I just ordered our thank you cards today. They won’t be here until about the end of the month and then we will have to write on them all. We will be lucky to have them out by Christmas. But we have personally thanked most of our guests for their gifts, we just wanted to make sure we could include a photo with the thank you.

Post # 37
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@bobanna: thank you – the card itself had seven pics from our wedding on it and we heard from a lot of people who really liked it.
FWIW, if I think of it and it’s been more than 6 months without a thank-you, I’d wonder. But luckily, that hasn’t happened yet, so my friends must be on the up-and-up etiquette-wise.

Post # 38
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

While thank you cards are not optional, your timeline is not realistic.  We went on a 7 day honeymoon and I had no desire to sit down and write thank you notes while spending time with my new husband.  I got married in September and just got my pictures back recently.  Because I wanted to include some wedding pictures on my thank you notes, I haven’t sent them out yet.  I certainly hope my guests will appreciate the fact that I waited a little longer to get their cards out when they see them instead of complaining about the time it took.  Aren’t you supposed to have like a 6 month window anyway?  As a newlywed, I’ve enjoyed spending time with my new husband getting our house together and setting up our lives together.

Post # 39
Member
2191 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think the comment about her having a 6 day honeymoon so she’s had time is hilarious…I just got back yesterday from my 6 day honeymoon and guess what I didn’t do or think about while I was away…wait for it….yep, you guessed it…my thank you cards. 

Just be happy when you get one and not concern yourself with what everyone around you is doing. 

I do have to echo what 

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@hisgoosiegirl: has said about your repeated complaints about IL’s. Word of advice….just chill out and worry about what you can control..which is yourself. It will probably make things less stressful for you.

Post # 40
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@hisgoosiegirl: I agree with, like, everything you’ve posted here. 

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@Pinksapphire: 7 1/2 weeks is not very long to wait for a thank you card. If it were six months, I guess I might see your point with this. But less than two months? The strictest etiquette guidelines I’ve seen have recommended two and a half months as the ideal window of time in which to send thank you cards. 

Post # 41
Member
7367 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’m with you but sadly its overlooked far too much these days. I can only hope to lead by example when my time comes. Getting thank you notes out will be a priority for us.

Post # 42
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

while i tend to agree with you about delaying too long or not sending them at all (and i have yet to receive a thank you from any of the many weddings, bridal showers and baby showers i’ve attended this year!) i do think that the current trend of sending photo cards SHOULD forgive a few week’s delay in sending out wedding thank yous.  I sent out my shower thank yous the week after the shower, and i’m pretty obsessive about doing things like that, but i’m still waiting on my pro pics, so while i’m sure i could’ve made the time to send them out, i think it’ll be a little more special to send a personal note with a photo (or a few) from the wedding.

so while strict etiquette rules don’t care about my wait for my pro pics, i think my guests will appreciate waiting a few extra weeks to receive something a bit more memorable and interesting than a store bought thank you card like i sent for the shower.

Post # 43
Member
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I cant stand when this happens. If somebody takes the time to go out and buy you a gift, you need to take the time to thank them in a timely manner. My wedding thanks yous were out a month after my wedding, and I felt bad that they were that “late” (in my mind). I waited for my professional photos to come back. My bridal shower thank yous were out the NEXT DAY! One thing my mom ALWAYS stressed to us was the importance of thank you notes, and she was right.

I just think it’s rude. For normal people, life isn’t that crazy. Get your act together and send them out! Nobody LIKES doing them but it’s a common courtesy.

I’m still waiting for a thank you from a wedding 7 MONTHS ago. I have a feeling that won’t be coming at all.

Post # 44
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree, it’s so sad that people can’t find the short amount of time (really, can’t you write even one a day?) to send off thank-yous… I’m bad with Christmas gifts, etc, but a shower or wedding gift is a must in my book.

Post # 45
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee

Its been 9 weeks since my cousin’s wedding and we haven’t received TY’s yet… and I haven’t given it any thought ’til now. She’s probably waiting to send them out with Christmas cards. I haven’t sent out all of my shower Thank You cards yet, and it was in August. Like PP’s have said, life gets in the way. I’m thinking it’ll take a couple months for my TY’s to get out after the wedding, since our photog takes awhile with getting the photos to clients (we haven’t gotten our engagement pics yet…).

Honestly, I think people need to chill when it comes to Thank You cards. For a majority, including myself, the thought is there and we know it has to be done and WANT to do it to show our appreciation, but again, LIFE gets in the way. Anyone can say they know so and so aren’t busy, but how can one truely know that? Just sayin’…

Post # 46
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

is it odd that I want to pre fill out a sort of generic thank you card, as I am TERRIBLE that this kind of thing.

 

Would a generic “Thanks for celebrating our day with us, we’ll never forget it” be better then none at all, or is it a slap in the face when it’s not personal?

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