(Closed) Thank you cards…. Are you planning on doing them?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

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@Mrs.KMM: Agreed. I’m definitely doing them! I find it rude when I don’t get one after a wedding or shower. I found it especially rude this one time two friends and I threw a shower for a girl we know whose family wasn’t doing one, and she only said thanks really casually on facebook.

Post # 18
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’ve heard a couple times now how older ladies assume that younger brides and women just don’t do thank you cards.  That always makes me a little grumpy.  Like they may have known one or two brides that didn’t do thank yous…so all new brides must be like that.  I don’t think not sending out thank you’s is a new way of doing things, it’s just the result of a lazy bride/groom.  I was diligent about mine, both for the shower and the wedding.

Post # 19
Member
722 posts
Busy bee

My reception is in 7 weeks and the gifts have started to come in. Each day when I get home from work I write the thank yous for the gifts that have arrived that day and mail them the next day.  When it gets a little closer and we may have days with many gifts (large wedding) DH will start helping out.

 

There is no way around it. Not writing thank you notes is awful.

Post # 20
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Writing thank you notes is my least favorite chore, but it really is the very least that you can do for someone that took the time to buy you a gift or attend your shower/wedding. There is really no excuse except for laziness for not doing it- and in a timely manner.

I don’t know who these people are that think giving someone a meal means that you are exempt from sending a thank you, but they definitely did not grow up in my family. It was drilled into me from a young age that you should always send thank yous for presents, or when someone does something nice for you (invites you to a dinner party, watches your pets on vacation, etc). That part of etiquette is always going to be followed as far as I’m concerned.

Post # 21
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I sent Thank You notes within 2 weeks for my shower and definitely plan on sending wedding Thank You notes as well.

They are not common in my family but I like to send them for WR things.  I do not send Thank You notes for Christmas or Birthdays.  For some reason I just feel that wedding gifts warrant a note, but Christmas presents don’t.  Maybe because everyone gets Christmas presents? 

Post # 22
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Receiving a gift = note of thanks. Birthday’s, Anniversary’s, wedding’s. Maybe not Christmas because gift giving is usually reciprocal at Christmas.

Maybe for a bday, a phone call will suffice??

 

Part of our frustration as brides (like with RSVP’s), is our generation’s (in particular), lack of etiquette. Or the view that some of these things are unnecessary. When someone does something thoughtful or nice for you, they deserve a thank you, IMO.

eta: My shower was on Sunday, August 15, I had my thank you’s in the mail on Tuesday, August 17. 

Post # 23
Member
4122 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I plan on doing them for sure! I don’t look forward to doing them, but they will be done! 🙂

Well said, Ms. Charisma. “Part of our frustration as brides (like with RSVP’s), is our generation’s (in particular), lack of etiquette.”

Post # 24
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - The Tribute Golf Club

I plan on sending a Thank you card for everything.  I might do something similar to my graduation Thank Yous and have the goal to have all the thank you’s out before using the gift or depositing the check.

Post # 25
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

thank you cards are not an option.

when i was younger it was drilled into my head that you write a thank you for every gift you receive.  every single one.  and if you don’t write a thank you, mom will tell that person you wouldn’t do it and no more gifts for you.

for my wedding, i plan on addressing the thank you envelopes as i get rsvp cards.  then when i open their gift, i write the thank you, and put it in the envelope right then and there.  may take a bit longer to open all the gifts, but it’s motivation to get it done.

Post # 26
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I will be writing thank you notes and have always written thank you cards. I think it is beyond rude for a bride and groom not to send thank you’s.

 

Post # 27
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Of course we will be sending thank yous for wedding gifts! I think all wedding related events need thank you notes.  

For other occasions (birthdays, christmas), I only send a thank you note if I didn’t open the gift and say thank you in person.  

Post # 28
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m definitely doing TYs for the both the shower & the wedding.  Thank you cards were probably the last lesson my Mom really drilled into me before heading off to college – she made sure I sent a note to everyone who got me a gift for graduation.  I think thank yous are the least a couple can do for people who took time out of their lives and probably spent some money on transportation and lodging to come to the wedding, on top of a physical gift.

Post # 29
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Being a southern girl myself, I have always written thank you cards – for birthday present, for a good deed, etc. Of the 4 weddings I’ve attended this year, I have only received 1 Thank You card. I’m appalled! I think that the advent of virtual forums has contributed to the decline of real mail. I remember one of those weddings (of which I did not receive a thank you card), we had a bookmark at our place setting, that was messaged with a thank you note from the bridegroom. That does not count…

Post # 31
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Thanks! 🙂

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