(Closed) Thank you cards…. Are you planning on doing them?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I will def. be sending ty notes !!! I think it’s a great thing to do to show apperciatioin to the person that gave you the gift .

Post # 33
15 posts
  • Wedding: June 2011

I will def. be doing thank you cards for everything.  My gma is a stickler for them so it has been drilled into me!  About 3-4 days after my sisters wedding she started looking for a thank you card and calling my Aunt to see if she had gotten one yet.  I had to explain that she was on her honeymoon and would get to it when they got back!  I think people like confirmation that gifts they sent/money made it safely to the right place!

Post # 34
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - Anela Garden Chapel & Japanese Cultural Center, Honolulu

i’m still working on ours..being gone for nearly a month doesn’t help – i feel bad, but they start looking sloppy if I do too many in one sitting. i’m prioritizing them though – older guests that are more likely to care about cards first, those that gave checks, family friends, family, and then our friends, who are least likely to care about a “late” thank you card. hopefully this works out okay!

i’ve never been to a wedding where I didn’t get a Thank You later, but I have heard from a bride who had NO plans to send any out. She was griping about how her guests were upset about not getting one, as if they were in the wrong. ๐Ÿ˜› 

Post # 35
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
@moderndaisy:The reception isn’t a thank you for the gifts your guests bring you (because they’re not required to bring you anything), the reception is a thank you for your guests taking the time out of their lives to witness your wedding and celebrate with you.  That’s how they are acknowledging it, the gift isn’t an “acknowledgement”, it’s a gift.  Therefore, if you get any gifts you certainly still send a thank you card.

Post # 36
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

i sent Thank You cards for my wedding but not for my bridal shower!! ๐Ÿ™


I have been to 5 weddings last year and only recieved 2 Thank You cards but the thing is before I got married, I would have never thought to recieve Thank You cards. The things you learn when you get married =p

Post # 37
2530 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I will definitely be doing thank you cards! I have already started on them!!

Post # 38
1870 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Well, I’m a stationery freak, so yes, definitely!! But in terms of etiquette, I think that one should always send a thank-you card, especially for gifts, whether it’s a wedding, birthday, baby, housewarming etc. And I believe in sending them just for attending the wedding!

Maybe that makes me an old fart, but I really think that you owe it to someone to a) let them know how much you appreciate them AND the gift and b) that you at least received the gift. It’s sad that I too have gotten fewer thank-you cards than I have given gifts–I’m not specifically offended by it; it’s more that I love getting mail!

Post # 39
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yes, I absolutely will!

I was at my cousin’s baby shower, and my table was discussing how as a group, we should give her the gift of telling her NOT to send thank you notes. As a new mom soon, she will have ZERO time for thank you notes. (There were 55 people, mind you!).


Post # 40
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Agree that it’s not really a generational thing. I’m 25 and it has been drilled into my head to send Thank You cards for any and every occasion. I’ll be doing them…as painful as it may be. I just try to remember that it’s really nice to be on the receiving end of a Thank You card–makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 41
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

View original reply
@moderndaisy: Are you kidding me?  You seriously think that your reception is a thank you for gifts you get from your guests?  Your reception is your thank you to your guests for coming to your wedding.  You know, they could be doing other things (and maybe wish they were) but they decided to support YOU instead.  These are the people who have stuck by you through many things … watched you grow up, were there for you, helped you out somehow along the way.  Your reception is your way of thanking them for being there no matter what.  They take time out to support you and your marriage and feeding them is your way of thanking them for being there for you! 

Your guests are under NO OBLIGATION to give you a gift. 

Of course thank you cards should be written for ALL gifts you receive.  Shower, wedding, baby, birthday, etc. 

Post # 42
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It disgusts me that people can’t take the time to write a thank you for a gift they received, it really does…  My shower was this past Saturday, thank you notes were written Sunday and in the mail Monday.  Seriously, take the time to let people know you appreciate them and for thinking of you and your Fiance.

And seriously, your wedding reception does NOT take the place of a personal thank you card, no matter how you spin it.

Post # 43
4381 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

i did thank you notes for both the shower and wedding. it is almost always an appreciated gesture. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 44
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Thank you cards are definately a must for all wedding gifts received. I also send them for birthday and holiday gifts received and other things like going to someone’s house for a special dinner a job interview, etc.

@ Lacrossbride — I disagree with your saying guests are under no obligation to give you a gift. Yes, I feel they are. When you are invited to an event, wedding, birthday, graduation party, you must bring a gift. To not do so is, in my opinion, incredibly rude. We did not receive gifts from 10 couples who came to our wedding, who were from my husband’s side. I feel these people are rude and inconsiderate. Prior to our wedding, many of these people came and stayed with me and my husband for weekends, enjoying going to sporting events that my husband had tickets for, eating our food and thinking I was the maid to clean up after them. They are not welcome in my home now.

Post # 45
14490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I always send thank you cards for everything.  I have to say it is a dying etiquette.  But many years ago I was just getting my start in politics, the national party paid for a large group or young professionals to go to another state and work at the parties expense.  Right after getting home, I sent the Chairman of the party a handwritten thank you note.  Fast forward a couple of years, the Chairman was in a nearby town doing a small event with large ticket donors and I was invited.  Not only was I invited, but the Chairman knew who I was, remembered the card, and then he got me my first big federal Campaign Manager job.

Sometimes using a simple ettiquette will mean more than you will ever realize.

Post # 46
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

So they’re sending TY’s after the showers but not the actual event? That’s weird. I think that’s almost more rude. “Yeah, you flew across the country and got us a nice gift to celebrate our union, but seeing us was gift enough.” I don’t think that would fly. Not with MY family and Mr’s family at least.

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