(Closed) Thank you cards… Design etiquette?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
9519 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Whoops I used generic cards from Michael’s. I never heard that rule

Post # 3
948 posts
Busy bee

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glitters:  Our thank you cards had our first names on the front, but nothing about either of our surnames. That passed muster with my very etiquette conscious Mother-In-Law.

Post # 4
2170 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you can get away with generic cards. 

Post # 5
727 posts
Busy bee

I’ve never heard of that etiquette either. I’m just buying generic ones on Amazon.

Post # 6
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

If that is a rule it’s a modern one, thank you cards themselves are an update of the plain thank you note- so I wouldn’t worry. You can put your new surname on the from address to include it.

Post # 7
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

View original reply
glitters:  Thank you cards that are thoughtfully written are etiquette enough. I would rather have a prompt thank you card than await a more sophisticated one. 

Btw congrats on ft work and school! It’s tough!

Post # 8
1692 posts
Bumble bee

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glitters:  You are obsessing over insignificant details.

Personal stationery is the fashion-statement of those of us who love the insignificant details, regardless of our marital status. Social notes are a gracious vintage conceit that lets us enjoy things like the scratch of a good fountain pen over well-laid paper. They are a hobby and artform to sustain over the years, not something to pick up just because you happen to be getting married.

If you love good stationery and social notes, you probably have a nice collection of foldover cards already, and if you REALLY love stationery, you probably have personalized stationery already that has your unmarried name on the front. If you use the title “Ms” and plan not to change your name, then you can go on using that stationery. In fact, you can arguably go on using it even if you currently go by “Miss”: I have a niece who did not change her name or her stationery and even her credit cards still say “Miss Penelope Phipps” even after nearly thirty years of marriage. However, if you are changing your name, or planning to take up the title “Mrs”, then you need to replace your existing stationery. In that case, if you want to you may use joint stationery for the first year of marriage (only). This is a special dispensation from normal etiquette, for newlyweds only. After the first year you have to go back to stationery that has only your own name on it.

Now, if you don’t REALLY love good stationery, there’s nothing wrong with generic fold-over notes, although Chapters or Paperchase ( or Barnes and Noble if you are in the States) has much nicer ones than Michaels. Etiquette snobs prefer that the outside not be labelled “Thank-you”, simply because we like the delayed gratification of having to open the note-card to find out what sentiments it conveys. This ban refers primarily to the cards with the ornate gold THANK-YOU covering the entire front of the card. A subtle “Thank-you” that works into the design of the card is not worth worrying about.


Post # 9
9120 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

It’s absolutely fine, and good for you for getting right on them! That will mean the world to your guests.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a thank you card with the last name on the front, FYI. 

Post # 10
9565 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
glitters:  I assure you there is no etiquette about design preferences. A promptly sent, hand written thank you note is all there is to it. 

Post # 11
14057 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Generic thank you cards, or any thank you card at all, will be sufficient.  I’ve never cared about the design of a card, only that the couple is gracious and appreciative. 

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