(Closed) Thank you cards etiquette

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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blummer:  Welcome to the bee!

Um, you asked to read someone else’s thank you card?

Sorry, to me that is strange…

 

Post # 3
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee

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blummer:  My understanding was that thankyou cards were for the gifts the bride and groom received, not your presence. The favour (presuming they had them) was your thankyou for attending. 

Not sure what some other Bees would say though, as I’m not as big on ettiquette as some other are. 

Post # 4
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Why do you think you’re supposed to get a thank you card? Just because you showed up? They already thanked you for that. Since you didn’t give a gift, you don’t get a thank you card. I didn’t send thank you notes to people that didn’t send a gift.

Post # 5
Member
3274 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

No, thank yous are for gifts. We only sent thank yous to those who brought gifts. 

Post # 8
Member
3680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Traditionally, the reception is the thank you to the guests for attending the ceremony. Thank you notes are written for gifts and/or services at the wedding, like helping set up, baking the cake, being a bridesmaid, etc.

Post # 9
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Etiquette-wise, I don’t think you will receive a thank-you card for attending the wedding. I hesitate to even say this, I’m sure many will be upset with me on here- but I find it very poor taste to attend a wedding without bringing a gift, or even a card. I’m not saying you need to “cover your plate” or any silliness like that, but it’s a nice gesture. I personally would not send a thank you card to anyone who did not bring a gift.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by  MadamePants.
Post # 11
Bee
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Cottage on the Creek

Yeah no I do not send thank yous unless I get a gift. The verbal thank you and the reception and them paying for your dinner is the thank you. 

If I didn’t give a gift and got a thank you for attending I’d find it a bit awkward. But then again I’d never ever go to a wedding or shower without giving SOME gift even if it was the $10 spaghetti stirrer off the registry. 

Post # 14
Member
47449 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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blummer:  Guests have up to a year to send a wedding gift, so you still have time. That’s one way to get your thank you note.

Post # 15
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

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blummer:  But, I mean, what’s she supposed to say- “No, actually, sorry, but you have to get us something” ? It’s just kind of the principle of the thing. I’d feel very uncomfortable if someone asked me that. 

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