Thank You cards for guest that didn’t give a gift

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1222 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

“Dear Ms. Guest,

Thank you for attending our wedding. You made a great day even more special by being a part of it. It was so nice to catch up with you & share some stories/laughs/drinks, etc. Once we get settled into married life we’d love to have you over.


The Crashes”


Post # 4
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I had a few of those, and I don’t know what the etiquette is, but I definitely sent thank yous. I think I said something like “Thank you so much for sharing our day. It meant a lot to be surrounded by those we love.”

Post # 5
1696 posts
Bumble bee

Etiquette requires that you send thank-you notes for any *gifts* you receive. It also requires that any *guest* who is hosted to dinner send a thank-you note the next day to his or her hostess, thanking her for her hospitality.

Now, you can send a friendly hand-written note to whomever you like, any time you like, especially if your photographer has sold you some of those nice post-wedding photo-cards. You can express your gratitude for people coming to share your day if you want to — assuming you feel sincerely grateful. But you don’t have to. And if no post-dinner letters flow back and forth between you and people who didn’t give any gift, the etiquette police will be taking the names of those *guests* who didn’t send their next-day bread-and-butter letters.

Post # 6
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

if they didnt get me a gift I am not thanking them for nothing…what exactly am I thanking them for? attending and having to pay $60 a head for them?Stern%20Smile

It’s poor taste and tacky to attend someone’s wedding and not even bring a card.

Post # 7
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I agree with pat291, that is so rude.. I wouldn’t even waste the postage lol

Post # 8
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I only plan on sending a thankyou card to those who gave a gift.  Thanking people for coming to your wedding is what favours are for.

Post # 9
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m only sending thank you cards to those who give a gift or card as well. Honestly I don’t think that someone who does not bring a gift or card will expect a thank you.

EDIT: I would send a thank you to a guest who had to travel and did not bring a gift.

Post # 10
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I am in this situation right now and don’t know what to do. About ten couples came but did not give a card or gift. I totally do not want to send them thank-you’s. To be honest, I think they are very rude people. One friend of mine who married 5 years ago sent thank-you’s to anyone who came to her wedding,but maybe I am a little bitter that these cheapo’s came to my wedding and didn’t bring so much as a card. And, anyone who did not give a gift is not being invited over for dinner or to come stay over at our house in the future. The interesting thing is that the “no gifters” were all from my husband’s side.

Post # 11
108 posts
Blushing bee

I just gave thank you’s to the people who gave a gift. Hubs and I thanked all of our guests personally during the reception plus we had a receiving line. The only “thank you” left to say was for the gifts we received after the fact, thus only the gift-givers need a further thank you.

Post # 12
16191 posts
Honey Beekeeper

It doesn’t hurt to take the high road and send a thank you. Good karma, if nothing else. 🙂

Post # 13
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m only thanking people who actually got us a gift.  Everyone got a favor for attending and we went around to all the tables at dinner and thanked people for coming.  I don’t need to spend the postage and the cost of the thank you sending them a card too when they didn’t get us a gift.

Post # 14
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with @ SapphireSun, cards are for people who gave you gifts, favors are thank yous for coming!

I will only be giving thank you cards to those that give a card/gift.

Post # 15
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I will only be sending TY’s to people who gave us gifts.

Post # 16
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

People have up to a year after a wedding to send a gift, so it seems a bit mean to write them off as cheapos this early in the game. Attending weddings can be expensive business, especially for out of towners. It isn’t necessary to send no-gifters a thank you card, but I see no reason not to.

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