- 1 year ago
- Wedding: September 2016
I have read many various posts about people who don’t send a thank-you card or note to the gift giver. Being “busy” is no excuse. If it’s a shower gift and the bride-to-be opens the gifts at the shower, she would say “thank you” out loud and the giver is witness to the fact that the bride-to-be has received the gift. My big beef is when the gifts are NOT opened in front of the guests. This most often happens at weddings, but we recently attended a shower where the requested gifts were cash or gift cards. We have no idea if the gift was ever actually received, so in this situation, I feel a “thank you” is necessary. If they are too busy, I would be happy with a quick e-mail to say that they received our gift with thanks. That’s all. I’ve laid out over $1,500 in cash gifts over the past year for various weddings, and have no clue if the money was actually received, or stolen. If the recipient feels the $ amount was too low for their liking, that’s too bad…it’s what I can afford to give and the receiver should acknowledge the gift. Again, there is NO excuse for not saying thank you, in whatever form it takes.
For the bride-to-be that didn’t bother thanking me for her cash shower gift….her wedding gift will be very small, since she clearly does not appreciate. Remember, giving a gift is OPTIONAL, even when you’re invited. Etiquette suggests a gift is expected. However, when the receiver does not acknowledge receipt with a simple thanks, then I opt to not give any more.
Unfortunately my husband is of a different opinion: he says you don’t give a gift for the purpose of receiving a Thank You card, and I should just let it go, assuming the gift was received and appreciated.
Sorry, can’t let it go, it’s in my bones to know that my effort to spend my hard-earned money on your event (not to mention giving up a weekend, buying an outfit or new shoes, spending money on gas, hotel etc, is appreciated…I could have chosen to do something else….so my dedication to YOUR event, and the fact that I chose to get you a gift….should be acknowledged). PERIOD.
Any brides or moms-to-be reading this…send a thank you to each of your guests, and make sure to mention the gift. If you don’t you could be damaging relationships; maybe it’s a close friend of your parents, and that relationship will be hurt…do you really want to do that?