(Closed) Thank you cards… rude not to send one?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it rude to not send a thankyou card after your wedding?
    yes, all guests should be thanked : (118 votes)
    59 %
    All guests that gave a gift should be thanked : (80 votes)
    40 %
    No, its no biggy : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    169 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I didnt even get a thank you from my friend who I was Bridesmaid or Best Man for, we had to pay for everything ourselves, didnt get anything special on the day or a card after the day..even wanted the shoes that she paid for back even though shes half my size.


    I will deff be thanking everyone to make sure they are appreciated

    Post # 4
    2951 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 1998

    The last 2 weddings I’ve been to I haven’t received a thank you note and I think it’s really rude not to.  Make sure you do because people appreciate it!

    Post # 5
    4495 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think its extremely rude and inexcuseable not to send a thank you card!

    Post # 6
    62 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I have always been under the impression that the Thank You cards were specifically for gifts; you should be thanking guests for their attendence sometime during the date of the wedding.

    Definitely send Thank Yous to the people who gave you gifts.  I would also send thank yous to any guests who travelled a significant distance or whom you felt exceptionally happy that they came.

    To be honest, I think its a bit weird to send a thank you card to a guest who only gave you a card (or nothing at all).

    Post # 7
    3230 posts
    Sugar bee

    With gifts – I don’t always remember when I receive on but I always remember when I don’t.

    I am not married yet, but I think I am going to send all my guest a Thank You post card with one of our pictures on it once I get them back from the photographer. I do plan on using vistaprint for this.

    Post # 8
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I guess I don’t expect thank yous…but I start to worry if I don’t hear from folks.  I’m a worrier…did the gift get stolen, lost in the mail, do they hate me?  But I don’t feel like I’m owed anything.

    On the other hand, I am an avid card sender.  I send thank you cards all darn day, in addition to just sayin hi and birthday cards.  I am a newbie at cardmaking so it’s kind of a hobby.

    Post # 9
    206 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I sent a handwritten thank you card to everyone that gave us a gift within 5 weeks of the wedding-I didn’t realize that I was expected to write one for people who just showed up. Yeah, no.  

    Post # 10
    808 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    If someone is spending their time/money to give you a present/card- you need to spend your time sending them a thank you.  If they spent their time coming to your event but did not bring a gift- I believe that also warrants a thank you.  You should let them know you appreciated that their spent their time celebrating with you.  I have some relatives who are notarious for not sending thank yous but they will make sure they invite you to every event/function that you will bring a gift to.  Ughhhh!

    Post # 11
    2559 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We did gifts-only paper thank-yous. To thank people for their presence, we walked around during the reception to each table and greeted each guest.

    Post # 12
    6221 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    I would send one to everyone

    Post # 13
    286 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014 - Glen Sanders Mansion

    I think it’s pretty rude not to send a thank you note, and I’m really not crazy about pre-printed notes.  It really doesn’t take that long to write out a few lines of gratitude, and it’s much more personal that a printed card or postcard. 

    Post # 14
    1306 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I sent a thank you to each and every guest whether they brought a gift or not. I AM glad tey were able to share our special day, and I truly appreciate they took the time to come to our wedding.

    Those who were unable to come or were not invited but sent gifts anyway (a few great aunts/uncles and other extended family) also got a thank you card.

    No one gets upset or offended when they DO receive a thank you, so why not just thank your guests? I actually asked one of my friends if her and her Darling Husband had received my gift because I had not received a thank you and was worried my gift had been stolen! SHe told me they had received the gift and just didn’t do thank you cards because she “doesn’t have time for it”. Really….sit down 10 mins a day and fill them out until you are though. Jeesh, people!

    Post # 15
    1328 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I would be suprised to get a thank you card for just attending a wedding without a gift, but I wouldn’t be offended.  Then again I always bring a gift to weddings.

    Post # 16
    2359 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    to not send out thank you cards is just plain rude. 

    My coworker got married in July and I went to his reception after work, gave him $100 cash, and he never sent a thank you card, to anyone, he didnt even thank me when he saw me at work 3 days later.   

    then when I got married, he came and gave money, I sent out thank yous to everyone that gave a gift, I gave him his and he was like “oh, we were to lazy to do thank you cards”, and to this day the thank you card I gave him is still sitting crumpled in a corner where he threw it.

    so yeah, hes just rude in general.

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