Post # 1
A question of etiquette that arose from a discussion with a friend:
Do you send thank you cards to everyone who attended your wedding, or only to those who gave you a card / gift? I know it’s not common for people to attend a wedding and not give a card and/or gift, but we know someone who did and ended up discussing whether that person would receive a thank you note… for us I’m not sure I would have thought of it, since our thank you card list was based on our cards / gifts received, not who attended. Maybe that was wrong of me!
Post # 3
@sessaj: Send a thank you to anyone who gave a card/gift.
If you send thank yous to those who attended but did not bring a card/gift it may be seen as fishing for a gift after the fact.
Post # 4
Only to those you receive a gift/card from… I think my exception would be if it was a destination wedding or some other extinuating circumstance that you knew made it tought for them to join you.
Post # 5
Only necessary to those who brought/sent a gift….your reception was the thank you for everyone else that came.
Post # 6
I would send a thank you card to everyone, if they hadn’t given a card/gift I would thank them for attending. I don’t think it would be perceived as fishing for a gift.
Post # 7
I’m having a destination wedding, and I’m planning to send a thank you to everyone for attending. They’re taking time off from work, driving/flying to get there, and spending money for a hotel room.
If I wasn’t planning a destination wedding, I don’t think I would send a thank you to everyone that attended. I’d just send them to the ones who gave gifts/cards.
Post # 8
There were 2 people who didn’t bring a gift to my wedding. I sent them both Thank yous saying how great it was to see them at the wedding and thanked them for sharing our special day. We appreciated the fact they came. We were surprised neither brought a present or card but were still thankful they came!
Post # 9
I don’t know anybody who’s sent out thank you cards to people who attended but didn’t bring a card/gift. The only exception I can think of is if someone travelled a really long distance to be there.
We thanked all our guests individually when we made the rounds at cocktail hour, and collectively when we gave our toast at the reception. If any of them hadn’t given gifts, I would not feel any obligation to send them a written thank you just for their presence at our wedding.
Post # 10
I’m with the majority, if it’s not a destination wedding, then I would only send thank you’s to those who brought a card or gift.
Post # 11
Etiquette wise, if they attended but did not give a gift or card you should NOT write a thank you because it can be seen as a gift grab (even if you write it with the purest intentions).
That’s from Miss Manners.
Post # 12
I agree with most of you… I wouldn’t have thought to write a thank you to people who attended but did not give a card or a gift. If it had been a destination wedding I would think a thank you would be appropriate regardless.
Post # 13
We sent thank you cards to everyone who attended–because the weather was so crappy, we really appreciated people showing up at all!
Post # 14
I’m sending thank you cards to those who gave a gift/card and to a few close friends who gifted us with their talents on our big day…
2 friends learned & performed all our Ceremony music, I had 2 friends step in for DOC.. 1 primary and 1 assisting, and 1 friend gifted us with all our cupcakes…
They’ll all be getting a Thank You card and probably a gift from us for our gratitude…
For everyone else… The money I spent on the Reception Venue, Decor, & Food was their Thank You.. lol
Post # 15
For local weddings; only to those who gave gifts and cards.
For DW’s; Everyone who attended.
Post # 16
I only sent thank yous to those who gave a gift or card (whether they attended or not).
The reception (and favor if you have them) are thank yous to those guests who attended. Plus, sending them a thank you for no gift could come accross as a gift grab.