(Closed) thank you cards – to everyone?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Does everyone receive a thank you card?

    Yes - every person who gave a card, a gift, or attended the wedding (with or without a gift)

    No - only people who gave a card and / or gift (whether they attended or not)

    No - only people who gave a gift (whether they attended or not)

    Other ?

  • Post # 3
    8734 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @sessaj: Send a thank you to anyone who gave a card/gift.

    If you send thank yous to those who attended but did not bring a card/gift it may be seen as fishing for a gift after the fact.

    Post # 4
    2599 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Only to those you receive a gift/card from… I think my exception would be if it was a destination wedding or some other extinuating circumstance that you knew made it tought for them to join you. 

    Post # 5
    7691 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Only necessary to those who brought/sent a gift….your reception was the thank you for everyone else that came.

    Post # 6
    5842 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I would send a thank you card to everyone, if they hadn’t given a card/gift I would thank them for attending. I don’t think it would be perceived as fishing for a gift.

    Post # 7
    1867 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’m having a destination wedding, and I’m planning to send a thank you to everyone for attending.  They’re taking time off from work, driving/flying to get there, and spending money for a hotel room. 

    If I wasn’t planning a destination wedding, I don’t think I would send a thank you to everyone that attended.  I’d just send them to the ones who gave gifts/cards.

    Post # 8
    94 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    There were 2 people who didn’t bring a gift to my wedding.  I sent them both Thank yous saying how great it was to see them at the wedding and thanked them for sharing our special day.  We appreciated the fact they came.  We were surprised neither brought a present or card but were still thankful they came!

    Post # 9
    3482 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I don’t know anybody who’s sent out thank you cards to people who attended but didn’t bring a card/gift. The only exception I can think of is if someone travelled a really long distance to be there.

    We thanked all our guests individually when we made the rounds at cocktail hour, and collectively when we gave our toast at the reception. If any of them hadn’t given gifts, I would not feel any obligation to send them a written thank you just for their presence at our wedding.

    Post # 10
    1842 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I’m with the majority, if it’s not a destination wedding, then I would only send thank you’s to those who brought a card or gift.

    Post # 11
    2904 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Etiquette wise, if they attended but did not give a gift or card you should NOT write a thank you because it can be seen as a gift grab (even if you write it with the purest intentions).


    That’s from Miss Manners.

    Post # 13
    3521 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    We sent thank you cards to everyone who attended–because the weather was so crappy, we really appreciated people showing up at all!

    Post # 14
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I’m sending thank you cards to those who gave a gift/card and to a few close friends who gifted us with their talents on our big day…

    2 friends learned & performed all our Ceremony music, I had 2 friends step in for DOC.. 1 primary and 1 assisting, and 1 friend gifted us with all our cupcakes…

    They’ll all be getting a Thank You card and probably a gift from us for our gratitude…

    For everyone else… The money I spent on the Reception Venue, Decor, & Food was their Thank You.. lol

    Post # 15
    1044 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    For local weddings; only to those who gave gifts and cards.

    For DW’s; Everyone who attended.

    Post # 16
    13094 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I only sent thank yous to those who gave a gift or card (whether they attended or not).

    The reception (and favor if you have them) are thank yous to those guests who attended.  Plus, sending them a thank you for no gift could come accross as a gift grab.

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