Post # 1
Our wedding is in June in Costa Rica. We received our first wedding gift in the mail today. We wanted to take unique pictures with our photographer on the beach to create a thank you card. However, I know I need to send out a thank you card ASAP for this wedding gift and I’m sure more will come. I don’t know what cards to buy. I look on line but I constantly think about the ones we wanted to create. But that is less than 2 months away, which is too long to wait on sending out a thank you card. Has anyone else come across this and what was your solution? Did you end up doing two different thank you cards? One for the early gifts and bridal shower and the other for wedding reception gifts? Thanks!
Post # 3
Actually, it is proper etiquette to send out thank you notes for up to a year after the wedding, so you should be fine if you want to wait.
Post # 4
Yes, you should have some cards on hand to send notes now. Nice, plain notecards will do nicely. Personally I’m not a fan of ordering thank-yous with wedding photos, if it means delaying sending out thank-yous. Promptness is more important than having a wedding photo on the card IMO.
You could always send out plain thank-yous, and send out announcements or Fourth of July cards or something later with a photo.
Post # 5
I don’t buy the one year to send thank you cards rule; I think it’s lazy, unless there’s some really valid reason to do so. I think you should send the thank you card right away. Like the PP said, you should have some nice thank you cards on hand to send out for any early gifts, and decide if the photo cards are worth it after you’ve got the photos in hand to make the cards.
Post # 6
You definitely do not have a YEAR to send them out. Go ahead and send thank-you cards for the early gifts with a different card- there’s no problem with having two different sets, as long as the photo ones also get sent out in a timely fashion.
Post # 7
Emily Post Etiquette allows UP TO A YEAR for sending out thank you notes for wedding gifts.
Not saying it’s the right or nicest thing to do. However, Emily Post is the Etiquette Queen and she wrote the book.
My Mom drummed all that crap into my head many years ago, lol. But listen to the others and DON’T wait a year to send them out. That’s not what I meant to imply, just that if you do send them out, within a year, it is still considered “proper.”
Post # 8
Contrary to popular myth, the happy couple does not have a year’s grace period. All thank you notes should be written within three months of the receipt of the gift. Ideally, a response should be written on the day you receive a wedding gift. If that’s not possible, set a daily goal. It’s a lot easier to write three or four notes a day than to have to write a hundred notes in a month after the wedding!
Oh and from the same page:
- Don’t include wedding photos or use photo cards if it will delay sending the note.
Post # 9
@Over the Moon: Well, thank you for the info. I was going by the old-school Emily Post stuff. However, glad to see things have changed now.
I’m just not into this topic enough to look up the old rule and post it here, though, lol . . .
And, I completely agree that the most polite thing to do is go ahead and write the thank you notes asap.
Post # 10
I just bought some cute, generic thank-yous for all of the gifts we received before the wedding. Gifts from the wedding got the photo thank-you card.
Post # 11
I prefer to send thank you cards right after recieving a gift. We got some gifts already and we just went out a bought some thank you cards that we liked. We’re planning on ordering some for after the wedding as well, but I wanted to send the thank you notes right away, rather than wait.
Post # 12
It’s so refreshing to see that some people still care about sending hand-written, personal thank you notes. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sent gifts, for any occasion, or taken one to a wedding, but never heard anything back. This is really nice!
Post # 13
@Sunfire: I don’t know how far back you’re going, but the original, 1922 edition of Etiquette has this to say, below. I don’t mean to harp on this but I see this one-year thing tossed around as fact and I don’t know where the origin of it is, as I find it hard to believe Emily Post would ever say people have a year to write a simple expression of thanks (but if I’m wrong, I would genuinely love to know).
THE BRIDE’S THANKS
The bride who is happy in receiving a great number of presents spends every spare moment in writing her notes of thanks, which must always be written by her personally. Telephoning won’t do at all, and neither will a verbal “Thank you so much,” as she meets people here and there. She must write a separate letter for each present—a by no means small undertaking! A bride of this year whose presents, because of her family’s great prominence, ran far into the hundreds, never went to bed a single night before her wedding until a note of thanks was checked against every present received that day. To those who offered to help her through her overwhelming task, she, who is supposed to be very spoiled, answered: “If people are kind enough to go out and buy a present for me, I think the least I can do is to write at once and thank them.” That her effort was appreciated was evident by everyone’s commenting on her prompt and charming notes.
Notes of thanks can be very short, but they should be written with as little delay as possible. When a present is sent by a married couple, the bride writes to the wife and thanks both: “Thank you for the lovely present you and Mr. Jones sent me.”
Post # 14
I’m thinking that I would write and send the thank yous after the wedding, perhaps I am wrong?
My thought was that I might have more to say to them after the wedding, that the thank you is for attending and the gift as well? I’d love to get a head start on thank-yous but I’m not sure that will make as much sense as waiting until after.
Post # 15
@Costa Rica Bride: Agreeing with what PPs have said about sending the note asap. However, if you really want them to have a copy of your special picture, I don’t think it would be out of line for you to send them another note after the wedding, using the special card, simply thanking them for attending.
Post # 16
@abbie017: I don’t buy the one year to send thank you cards rule; I think it’s lazy, unless there’s some really valid reason to do so.
OP, I know you wanted to send out nicer cards, but I’d send one now if I were you.