(Closed) thank you etiquette

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

@thanksgivingbride:I don’t think so. You may send a cute Christmas card to everyone thanking them for their love and support with your favorite wedding picture. Wedding picture/ thank you card/ Christmas card in one:0) It is personal and fairly inexpensive.

Post # 5
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Nope, thank you notes are only for guests who brought gifts.

Post # 6
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@thanksgivingbride: Personally, yes I would send them a thank you even if they didn’t bring a gift. I would say something along the lines of “Thank you so much for coming in for the wedding. Having you with us on our day meant more to us than you could know. We really appreciate your love and support over the years. Love Mr & Mrs Thanksgivingbride”. I think it’s nice to acknowledge everyone who was present, especially if they came in from Out of Town to celebrate with you.

Post # 7
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@bakerella:  Well, while I think your notion is very gracious, you have to be careful – a lot of people will interpret a “thank you” when no gift was given as a prompt they should send one or as a passive aggressive reprimand that one wasn’t given. 

Post # 8
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

You thank people for coming to the wedding is said at the reception.  You thank them for their gift with a thank you card (because you presumably didn’t know what they got you until after the reception). This line has been blurred a little lately with gifts coming before the wedding getting a card and not a personal thank you, but that’s the purpose of the card (for the gift, not attendance). 

ETA: but if you send a thank you card for attending, it’s not going to hurt anything.  It’s just not necessary.

Post # 9
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I don’t think it’s required, but it is a nice gesture.

Post # 10
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

You only need to send Thank You to those who give gifts. The Reception was the thank you for all those who came.

Post # 11
Member
2260 posts
Buzzing bee

i would send one to those that gave gifts and to those that really went out of their way to come (like OOT). and maybe to the bridal party again (but i like to shower those that help me with plenty if not too much affection & thanks). i do lke the idea of holiday cards for everyone else though with wedding pictures

Post # 12
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m with Bakerella.  And I don’t think ANYONE would take it as a “passive aggressive reprimand that one wasn’t given”.  That is just absurd.

Post # 13
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think that if you want to thank people for coming, it would be fine (but like others said, not necessary).

I agree with bakerella though–had you done a traditional registry, and had you NOT asked people to refrain from bringing gifts, it could make people feel bad/guilty for not giving you one. But it seems like you made it clear you didn’t want gifts, so I don’t see how anyone would feel that way!

Post # 14
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

We didnt send thank you cards to those that came but did not give gifts. We saw them at the reception or rehearsal dinner and thanked them in person! We will also be sending New Years cards to all wedding guests so I guess that is a little something extra….but no I dont think you need to!

Post # 15
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

i wouldn’t thank people for coming without a gift.  That’s just rude and cheap! 

And I agree that it seems a passive-aggressive way of reminding them that they didn’t bring a gift. 

 

 

Post # 16
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It’s not required but I chose to simply because I was honored to have them!  

 

I think it’s kinda sad that things are so focused around gift giving to the point where you can’t do something thoughtful without somebody thinking that it’s a grab for gifts.  I truely believe that the best gift that I got from any and everyone that was at my wedding or reception, was their presence there to help us celebrate our start of life together!

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