Post # 1
We’re going to be buying our thank you cards in May, and I was wondering something.
Do I send thank you cards to everyone who attends our wedding, or just to people who give gifts?
I honestly do not know, and I was wondering if there is an etiquette to sending thank you cards.
So thank you bees for any advice you’ll give me!
Post # 3
Just the people who give gifts. I would think tracking everyone who came to the wedding would be difficult because some people don’t sign the guestbook. Plus you would have to think of those who came to the reception but not the wedding and what not.
I just sent to anyone who gave a gift.
Post # 4
@megz06: Thank you!
Yeah, that does make sense.
Post # 5
@JoJoDahling: Proper etiquette is that you only send thank you’s to people who gave you a gift.
Your reception is the “thank you” for attending your wedding. Sending a thank you for that would be like sending someone a thank you for coming to dinner or a party at your house.
The thank you is for the gift they gave you. No gift means no reason to send a thank you. In fact, some might interpret a thank you for attending the reception as a prompt or dig about the fact that they didn’t give you a gift.
Post # 6
I think everyone should receive a thank you card. After all they didn’t just roll out of bed and attend your wedding in their own kitchen. There was some effort on their part to celebrate with you. Gifts are optional.
Post # 7
Totally disagree. I had people fly to my wedding, but only give a card & no gift inside. OF COURSE i sent them a thank for you coming to celebrate with me. Everyone should get a thank you, not just those who gave you a gift.
Post # 8
I sent thank you cards to everyone who gave gifts or cards, even if the card only had well-wishes. I also sent a thank you to anyone who attended and had to travel a significant distance to be there, regardless if they gifted or not. A simple, “Thank you so much for travelling to be with us on our special day, it meant the world to have you there,” should suffice (if they gave a gift, also mention a thank you for that as well).
Post # 9
Oh yes I forgot. I gave to those who gave a card and no gift though. Cards count as gifts to me 🙂
Post # 10
Only to people who give gifts. Otherwise it might seem like gift-fishing (because how do you word thanks for… your presence?) and it’s just extra work for you!
ETA: I noticed some PPs mentioned thanking guests who travel. I agree with that, gift or not.
Post # 11
You send people who gave gifts a thank you. I hand addressed 300 STD cards, 300 invites… you’re crazy if you think I’m writing 300 thank you notes. I wouldn’t even know who showed up
Post # 12
I had a Destination Wedding so I sent one to everyone who came + people who gave gifts and didn’t come.
Post # 13
@JoJoDahling: I was curious about this too!
From the responses looks like we’ll be sending thank yous to people who we know traveled or gave us a card and/or a gift. I have no idea how we would track everyone who is actually there (we have 300 guests) so it would be a little weird to accidentally send someone a “thanks for coming” when they weren’t there!
Post # 14
We are sending out cards to everyone who brings a gift, but we also consider a CARD [even if nothing in it] a gift.
Post # 15
We decided to send to everyone. Including those who didn’t send a gift and of course those who sent a gift but didn’t make it to the day. Instead of having 2 separate types of cards, I kept the message simple Just “Thank You. Love, Mr. and Mrs. _________. March 30, 2013. I plan to write personal messages on the back thanking those who brought a gift.
Post # 16
Okay so send out Thank You cards to people who:
1. Gave a gift and/or card.
2. Traveled to come to my wedding.
Thanks to everyone who responded to this has really helped me pick out the number of cards I’ll need along with how to word my Thank Yous’.
You bees are awesome!