Thank you for coming

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
7994 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Thank you for coming sounds like something a host would say. Or something someone who INVITED the people. I mean, you wouldn’t get up a random dinner party and thank people for coming? I don’t think its an egregious error but I guess its a bit weird. You two just seem BEC towards each other, so I’m sure she would have found issue with whatever you said, and you would still think shes a bitch even if she said nothing. 

Post # 4
3350 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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soexcited123 :  i mean…it seems weird you thanked people for coming if you’re not the host. Like, it kinda feels like you’re trying to take credit for the party/hosting duties. If you threw the bride a shower, then it would make sense at the shower to thank guests for coming. But you didn’t throw the wedding, so yes, it seems strange and overstepping. 

That said, it’s really not something worth getting your panties in a bunch over. But probably you sending that email just sent bride’s sister over the edge (because again, it’s the bride’s place to thank the bridesmaids for all they’ve done, not yours). 

Sounds to me like you both just have clashing personalities which is being brought by your imperfections (because yes, you’ve had flaws here too, bee)

Post # 5
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

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soexcited123 :  Dh and I hosted our wedding ourselves and we had Dh, best man, Maid/Matron of Honor and both our fathers give speeches.  I’m pretty sure they all said some form of thank you for coming.  Sounds pretty standard of a speech to me.  Even if the sister thought it was strange it’s not conversation worthy. 

This sister clearly has a bee in her bonnet about you because you are Maid/Matron of Honor and nothing you say or do will change that.  The wedding is done, just treat her as normal, hopefully in time she’ll get over it.  In the meantime don’t take anything mean she says to heart. 

Post # 8
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

maybe you shouldn’t have thanked everyone for coming, but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I think we’ve all heard the horror stories about how some speeches go so I’d say if that’s the worst thing you said you’re good. 

The sister just sounds catty, probably a bit jealous. I would just try to forget about her comment and move on. 

Post # 10
1255 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I guess I could understand how maybe it’s not the MOH’s place to thank guests but I guarantee that as a guest I never would have thought that far into it. Definitely not something for others to be offended by and nothing to beat yourself up over.  

It sounds to me like she’s kind of bitter that she wasn’t Maid/Matron of Honor so she’s picking at everything you do. I could see being upset about that as a sister (not that it justifies her attitude). I’d let it go as she’ll probably get over it more as time goes on. 

Post # 12
1360 posts
Bumble bee

Sounds to me she was trying to find something to criticize in your speech and that was the best thing she could come up with. How dare you be nice to people!


Post # 13
10499 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
soexcited123 :  

Well, l have to agree that only the hosts should, properly speaking, thank people for coming, especially if it went into detail. It sounds presumptuous and as if you wanted credit for the reception. That said, if the rest of your demeanour and words were perfectly un-presumptuous, l think it probable she was merely looking to criticise something.

Post # 14
1069 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

I understand what everyone is saying, but you were a part of putting this thing together and you’re giving a speech. It’s a nice way of acknowledging everyone listening to you. I really don’t see anything “wrong” with what you said.

Unless people are going to be all technical about this wedding stuff, then I don’t believe anyone deserves thanks if they’re good friends and family. They SHOULD be there!

Post # 15
13997 posts
Honey Beekeeper

All what responsibility? It sounds to me as if the bride asked you to be Maid/Matron of Honor as much or more for what she thought you might “do” for her as to honor the relationship. That’s not appropriate to assume on her part or her sister’s. It’s not your fault that the bride chose you, but it’s probably why her sister was hurt. 

That said, I agree with PPs that it really wasn’t your place to thank people for attending or supporting the bride. Those things were done for her. It is a bit presumptuous to imply otherwise. 

Most people would not think to rip apart a few well meaning pleasantries, but the sister was already feeling disrespected. It probably would have been better to have have been a little bit more circumspect, though.

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