Post # 1
We are a month from our wedding and have long sent all of our thank you notes for the gifts we received. However, about 20% of households who came to our wedding opted not to give a gift. We were wondering if we should send a “thanks for coming card” or just let it go. I don’t want to seem like we are fishing for presents, because we aren’t. But on the other hand, I am not sure if the “thank you for being in our wedding” card from the rehearsal is sufficient for our bridal party members who opted not to gift. We are so grateful that they were there and would hate to embarass them by thinking we were asking for a gift.
(Because this normally comes up, it was an in-town wedding and the guests who didn’t gift were of means to do so. The poorer guests all shocked us with their generous gifts!)
Post # 3
Same thing happened to us! I know we’re not supposed to expect gifts but it was interesting that some who didn’t gift had the means to do so and those who I thought for sure wouldn’t gift gave us over the top presents!
Anyways, we didn’t send thank you for coming cards to guests that didn’t bring a gift. However, we did send thank yous to the wedding party members who didn’t bring a gift even though we also gave them a note at the rehearsal dinner.
Post # 4
I think if someone comes to your wedding you should thank them for sharing your special day. Especially if they went out of their way to get there.
Post # 5
@Pollywog: I’m sending thank you cards to everyone who made the effort of joining us on our wedding day regardless of whether they gave us a gift or not.
Post # 6
WE’re in the same boat! We decided to send thank yous just to ppl that gifted us- and same here, it was the less well off that gifted over the top while the higher class gifted much less. Weird but whatever. We also sent thank-you’s to ppl that didn’t gift anything but helped us out in the prep/day of stuff. We had a BBQ potluck in our parents home state and thankfully we had lots of friends & family pitch in and help with just about everything.
Post # 7
We are sending Thank You cards to everyone who was there, even if they did not give a gift. We did not expect any gifts and really do want to thank EVERYONE who were there to celebrate with us.
Post # 8
I plan to send “thank you for coming” cards to anyone who travelled to get to our wedding. For in-town guests, the “thank you for coming” is the free food, drink, and entertainment at the reception. I’d never give a “thank you for coming” card for a house party or a dinner party, and I believe in being the same (polite) person for my wedding as I am every other day.
Post # 9
If you have already personally thanked all your guests for coming (e.g. going table to table) then I think it’s fine to not send them a Thank You card. Darling Husband and I had a smaller wedding and we were able to hit up each table and guest multiple times. We were able to personally say good bye to many of of them too. As such, since they had been thanked so profusely IMO we did not send the few people who didn’t gift a Thank You card.
However, if you had a huge wedding and you weren’t able to thank them (aside from a generic Thank You toast, for example) then I would send one anyway just to make it personal.
Post # 10
I think the thank you cards that are a picture of you two at the wedding are great, and nice to send even to those who didn’t bring a gift? Maybe send that to everyone?
Post # 11
@stephee: I agree that would be awesome, but we didn’t do photo cards (we didn’t want to delay getting the thank yous out– we sent them all within 24 hours). They would be on our traditional stationary.
Post # 12
We are planning to send “thank you for coming” cards to everyone who attends the wedding, regardless of gifts. I want to use a wedding photo for this. In the meantime, we are sending thank yous for all shower gifts, and for the wedding gifts we are receiving before the wedding.