(Closed) Thank you for the gift that WE PAID for…

posted 4 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@O.My.Heart:  Not at all.  How tacky!!! I don’t see why they couldn’t have just gifted it to you, which is what wedding GIFT means.

Post # 4
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You’re not awful, but the table is probably worth a ton more. I can see being annoyed and it not exactly being a gift you wanted, but it’s probably best to let it go. If you’re going to get annoyed at anyone, get annoyed at your FI for this one, lol.

Hopefully you end up happy with the table in the end!

Post # 5
8469 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@O.My.Heart:  While you probably got an amazing deal on this table, it’s still not a gift.  I’m pretty sure a gift that you guy for yourself is just a purchase.

Post # 6
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think you should direct most of your anger toward your fiance rather than his aunt. He’s the one who decided to purchase it without telling you about it. His aunt didn’t contribute to your debt – your fiance did. (Sorry, I don’t meant for that to sound so harsh!)


Perhaps they called it a wedding gift because they heavily discounted it based on what they think they could have gotten for it (which is what you alluded to). Perhaps they knocked a few hundred dollars off of it based on what they were willing to give you for a wedding gift?


I don’t think you’re awful for thinking these thoughts, especially considering you don’t like the set – but you should take that up with your fiance, not his aunt. In fairness, she probably thinks she doing you a huge favour by giving it to you at a discount.


Post # 7
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

So, for realsies, this is their wedding gift to you?  Knocking a few bucks off the purchase price of their cast off?


I don’t even know how you’d write out that thank-you card….

Post # 9
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@JaneyDcat:  “Dear Aunt, thank you for letting me purchase my wedding gift from you. The $200 we spent to receive a wedding gift from you was the best purchase we have made.” LOL

Post # 11
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Yeah that’s not a gift. That’s a family discount and kind of them, but it isn’t a wedding gift. I mean, they aren’t required to give you a gift, but they pseudokindasorta think they did… awkward.  I’m not sure how I would go about writing a thank you card either..Good luck with that one!

Post # 12
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@O.My.Heart:  Hahaha. I can see why you dislike the circumstances. Especially since you already have a dining set! Is there any way you can sell the other dining set and break even? It’s a frustrating situation, so try not to stew on it. Hopefully your fiance learned a lesson! 🙂

Post # 13
5245 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

This would annoy me also so dont feel bad lol

Post # 14
2609 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@O.My.Heart:  Well, they didn’t add to your debt – your FI did. 

People often tend to overvalue their stuff.  I keep an eye out on Craigslist for some items I want and I often laugh at what people think their stuff is worth / what they think someone will pay for something used.  They don’t seem to realize what they paid for it new doesn’t mean squat.

That said, sometimes people DO have stuff that’s actually very nice, in demand and can easily fetch a good price.  If the table and chairs are actually valuable and they could have reasonably expected to sell it for much more, then selling it to your FI for a reduced price was nice.  

I’m not sure why you’re mad at them when its your FI who asked to buy it and accepted the reduced price as a gift. 

Post # 15
11284 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@O.My.Heart:  so were the table linens all used too?

Post # 16
2534 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

My opinion: don’t write them a thank-you note!
You paid for it, it’s not a gift. If the rest of your guests gave you a gift where you had to pay them back for part of it, would you write a thank you note? I wouldn’t. :/
I would also think that I was dreaming and maybe pinch myself a few times. Because, what??

Or, at least if you DO write a note, wait until after the wedding when you’re still feeling warm and fuzzy and sligtly forgiving about your table situation.
Because technically you have up to one year to send out thank-you notes.

Otherwise I think calling it a wedding gift is a cop-out, and if that’s how this cookie crumbles then whatever, at least you got a nice dining room set out of it. :/

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